Friday, February 16, 2007

Friday 02/16 A.M. Quickie:
NBA All-Star, Daytona 500, My Birthday

NBA All-Star Weekend! I said this the moment they announced the game would be in Las Vegas: No matter what happens on the court, this is arguably the most exciting single moment for the league since Michael Jordan's final Finals game with the Bulls.

Perhaps we all need to actually be in Vegas to fully appreciate the scope of the pending debauchery, but I think we can all do it justice with our fantasies of the party scene, plus what shapes up to be epic reportage from the scene (particularly from bloggers, who can file the GOOD scoop).

The biggest upshot of the weekend is that it will be such a huge success that the city will not only earn an NBA franchise, but an NHL and MLB franchise, too.

NBA All-Star: The Predictions

*Dunk Contest: Gerald Green. It won't be close. It's going to be a break-out moment for him.

Via Marc Stein's blog at ESPN Insider: Dwight Howard wanted to raise the rim to 12 feet(!), but the NBA nixed it. Amazing idea. Awful bungle by the league. That would have been totally innovative. (Tip: MJD at Fanhouse)

*3-point Contest: Gilbert Arenas. Runner-up a year ago to Dirk, Agent Zero lives up to his season-long hype with a stunning win.

*"Skills" Comp: Kobe. I think he wants it more than LeBron, Wade and Paul.

*Rookies-vs-Sophs: Sophs in a rout. (MVP: Danny Granger.)

*All-Star Game: East. (MVP: LeBron James.)

*Barkley-Bavetta Foot Race: Bavetta.

NBA All-Star: The Shoes. As a bit of a kick fiend, my favorite thing about NBA All-Star Weekend is the shoes. The biggest to watch for:

*LeBron IV: Special-edition gold
*Air Jordan XX2: Debut (on sale Sat.)
*Nike Air Force 25: Huge marketing push
*Converse Wade 2.0: Wade as own brand
*Kobe: Unveils Zoom Kobe 2
*Adidas: ASG editions underwhelming

Daytona 500: Should be a little more interesting, seeing how the sport is revving up its season on a foundation of cheating and recrimination.

I can appreciate the "wink-wink" legacy of "innovation," but it's cheating. And if any other sport was so blatant about it, it would ruin that credibility. That's probably why NASCAR is taking it so seriously.

But there might be a lesson from football and baseball, which have both managed to thrive despite decades of cheating endemic to the sport. (Baseball fans seem to have less tolerance for PEDs than football fans; football fans don't seem to care about PEDs in the least.)

Die-hard NASCAR fans probably don't care about the cheating. They might even be bemused. They might also find the "no-fun" crackdown by NASCAR to be tearing at the fabric of their sport, for the sake of making it more palatable for casual fans.

This balancing act between satisfying the hard-core fans who made the sport the juggernaut it is today and growing the sport with an entire new fan base ("ESPN fans," if you will) is the most fascinating part of NASCAR's growth this season.

(Please: No more debates in the comments about whether NASCAR drivers are athletes or not. You will never be convinced to change your mind – or to change other people's minds. So just let it go.)

Scottie Pippen considering a comeback? I have to say: That would be awesome. If I was him, I'd run right for the team with the combination of star wattage, Finals potential and need at his position: Say, Miami?

(Sam Smith seems to break the story, which speaks directly to my point in The Big Picture interview: Smith is valuable for the nanosecond that it takes to say, "Pippen considering unretirement." Now, bloggers will be much better at delivering the opinion. This on the heels of Smith's column yesterday ripping bloggers for their lack of insightful opinion. I find it ironic that, aside from this single news nugget, he spends the rest of the column engaging in precisely the kind of "Barstool-GM" projections that he was ripping bloggers for doing. How is Smith offering anything beyond superficial b.s. by saying, "Wouldn't it be neat if he was on Team X?" Where are your "sources" now, Sammy? He's such a self-righteous d'bag, I won't even link to his column.)

Tim Hardaway, The Day After: David Stern banned Hardaway from NBA All-Star Weekend. As he should have. Hardaway can (and does) say what he wants, but it doesn't have to be tacitly sanctioned by the NBA.

(By the way, I commend you all on a relatively civil debate in the Comments section. Please remember that no minds are being changed, especially yours.)

MLB: Yankees DUI scandal! Steinbrenner's son-in-law and heir-apparent to run the team, Steve Swindal, was arrested for DUI. Hey, he's got a long way to go before he matches the Boss. Call me when Swindal gets banned from baseball for a few seasons.

College Hoops Weekend: The three most must-see games, in order:

(1) Southern Illinois at Butler. Only the mid-major game of the year. It's the "George Mason-Wichita State of 2007," if you will. (Thanks for setting me straight, Commenters.)

(2) UNC at BC. BC was humiliated at home by Duke. Redemption comes with a win over the Heels, but I'm projecting a second straight home L.

(3) Washington at Pitt. What a random non-conference game for this time of year. UW is so far out on the bubble, it's all but must-win.

Bill Cowher joins "NFL Today" show on CBS, following the standard template for any successful coach: Resign/"retire," spend a year or so doing TV to get your visibility (and popularity) up, then hit the jackpot returning to coaching with an owner trying to make a splash.

Speaking of NFL TV analysts, the NY Post's usual Friday sports-media notes column buries a small rumor that ESPN is considering dropping Michael Irvin. Undoubtedly, this would be HUGE in both the sports-blog world and within traditional media.

And as if you haven't got enough "Cowboys receiver" news, Dallas execs expect T.O. to return to the team next year. Whee.

More MLB: Bonds signs his deal (1Y/$15.8M). Next up: Topping Aaron.

MLB Spring Training: The biggest individual-player story of Spring Training begins today: Daisuke Matsuzaka. Break out the gyroball!

CFB: Is former Arkansas QB Mitch Mustain going to transfer to... USC? Whether his coach would be Carroll or Sarkisian, that would be scary.

Oh, by the way, it's my birthday today: 34, officially kicking off the final year of my consumer relevancy in the "coveted male 18- to 34-year-old" demographic.

I'm hard-pressed to foresee the way that 34 will eclipse 33, given that it marked, personally, the birth of my first (and only) kid and, professionally, the (melo)dramatic combo of the end of the Quickie/start of the blog. But I'm sure it will.

(One last housekeeping note: I'll be traveling this morning and out of town all weekend, so posts might be light. That doesn't mean the conversation can't keep going. I'm opening up the Comments section. Should be a fun live-comment session during the NBA All-Star stuff.)

-- D.S.

219 comments:

1 – 200 of 219   Newer›   Newest»
Michael Moulton said...

Earn Vegas an NBA, NHL, and MLB franchise? Come on Dan, that's loony even for you.

Vegas would have a hard time supporting multiple major league teams-- tourists will be in the seats but tourists aren't enough to sustain one franchise, let alone three.

RevScottDeMangeMD said...

Happy Birthday old man.

I heard 34 is the new 21. Get wasted or something.

I wish I was in Vegas right now. I happen to know for a fact that Lebron and Dwyane both love the penny slots at the Golden Nugget.

Dan Shanoff said...

Michael: Don't underestimate that the appeal of the Vegas play for a team owner/sports league is that you don't need more than a minimal "established" fan base -- the tourism economy will allow for the unique opportunity for a team to be a "one-night-only!" event -- 40 (NBA, NHL) or 80 (MLB) nights a year -- while you're staying in town. It's going to sound like I'm joking, but think of Celine Dion. 10 years ago, doubters using logic similar to yours would say, "This super-high-profile singer would NEVER stoop to performing in Vegas FULL-TIME!" And, yet, there she was.

Natsfan74 said...

While I appreciate the appeal of a pro sports team in Vegas, I think the only sport it could possibly work in is basketball (only 40 games, high intensity atmosphere).

I am a HUGE sports fan. I travel a lot to see different sports teams and venues, as well as having season tickets for 2 sports.

I am a bigger VEGAS fan! But I go there for 96 hour benders of free booze and blackjack. I would not take 4 hours off from a table to see some baseball.

The Celine Dion fan base is probably a different demographic than the Las Vegas Sonics fan base. Some people still go to Vegas for the shows. Sports fans go to Vegas for the sports books and tables!

Unknown said...

Actually, one reason I do respect NASCAR is that the officials for the league crack down on cheaters. If NASCAR is supposed to be about the drivers, then allowing anyone to have an edge in cars would totally nix that.

If Vegas got an NHL team...I'd move to Vegas.

ESPN really only needs to keep Mort and Tom. None of the others bring much to the show.

Mustain at USC. Does Carroll need the headache that will be Mustain's parents? The kid has no cred. Mama's boy, at best. Chemistry destroyer at worst. Carroll can get plenty of blue chip QBs at USC (well...until sanctions hit)

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Unknown said...

"Baseball fans seem to have less tolerance for PEDs than football fans; football fans don't seem to care about PEDs in the least."

Absolutely true and the reason I believe it is true is that in football, jacked up defensive players balance out jacked up offensive players.

In baseball, records are more important to fans. They almost have a holy status surrounding them. Many die hard fans feel that the records set in the past century are being torn apart by cheaters.

Rafael, if NASCAR truly wants to crack down on cheaters then how many big name drivers have been suspended? How many cars have been banned from a race? They are no more serious than the NFL is on cracking down on steroid use.

NA said...

There are only 2 cities in America that are bigger than Las Vegas in population that don't have a professional sports team.

El Paso, TX and Louisville, Kentucky. If you just count Metro areas there are no bigger areas in the country without a sports team than Vegas. And, obviously, none have as big a city center/tourist location like Vegas does (except NY).

It's only a matter of time before Vegas gets a basketball team. There's no reason not to do it

jhawkjjm said...

Did anyone see the interview when they were talking to Gordon after winning the race and a reporter asked how he felt about his car failing inspection even though Gordon hadn't heard yet? That was classic.

I won't watch the all-star game. I'll watch some of the bracket buster games. Might flip to the Daytona 500 to watch the last couple of laps.

Happy bday.

Big D said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
One Shining Moment Bloggers said...

Come on, Dan. Everybody should know at this point that the big mid-major game of last year was George Mason's dispatching of Wichita State at their place during the Bracket Busters.

There are about six great BB games this weekend, while the other eight are rather meh. If there were only a place that was breaking down some of the matchups...

Big D said...

Out of town all weekend? Please, please tell us you're celebrating the birthday in Vegas, NBA ASG style...

Happy birthday, Circle of Life, Hakuna Matata, and all that shit. Congrats.

That's the one thing that Vegas is sorely missing, is a professional sports franchise. Unfortunately, the archane laws about gambling on any game within city limits severely constrain the ability to house a pro team there.

Personally, I like Simmons' idea of building an 80,000 seat retractable-roof NFL stadium just outside the city limits, and rotating the Super Bowl between Vegas, Miami, San Diego and N'Awlins yearly. Almost makes too much sense, no?

Oh, and for anyone who cares to read it, I finally chimed in on Timmy H.

Pippen returning to the NBA... well, he's supposedly the least deserving of all the "NBA Top 50" team members, so maybe a seventh ring could seal it up for him. Miami could use him the most, but I don't know if he'd play for Riley. They had serious bad blood when Riles was with the Knicks. I think Spurs or Mavs - he needs to be the #2 behind a Super-Duper Mega Star to be the most productive. Maybe even a return engagement in Houston, behind T-Mac & Yao?

This oughtta be a decent comments section today, with all restrictions removed. Once again, Happy birthday, and pour one out on the curb for those of us that can't be there to drink it with ya.

futurelegendvinceyoung said...

I think Simmmons nailed it when he gave his reasons why a fan would not want to be in Vegas this weekend.

Natsfan74 said...

The George Mason win in BB last year was the biggest game. They were an at large team who many people felt should not have even been in the tournament. Their best player was facing a 1-game suspension entering the tourney and few people thought they could win a single game without him. Their win in BB probably helped propel them into the field, allowing a great run to the Final 4.

But the point of the Bracket Busters series is to showcase teams that otherwise might not have the national recognition necessary for an at large bid (and to boost RPI for some teams). As such, as much as I am looking forward to the SIU/ Butler game, I don't think either one of these teams needs that exposure. These 2 slots could have better helped bubble teams, rather than showcasing two top mid-majors who are getting into the tourney no matter what!

And screw Pippin's six rings. He showed what kind of player he is in his seasons without MJ beside him. MJ carried him to the 50 greatest, to 6 rings, and probably to the HoF. But without MJ, Pippin wouldn't matter.

Matt T said...

Happy Birthday. Enjoy yourself.

I am looking forward to seeing if the gyroball is legit.

I will be watching some of the Daytona 500, I'm trying out fantasy NASCAR this year.

Brian in Oxford said...

I bet Vegas could handle a team. Probably not baseball, since it's f'ing hot out there all summer. Gary Bettman's determined to find the hottest, dryest spots for hockey, so I could see it as a race between hockey and basketball. I sorta could imagine lots of parched tourists looking to escape the heat by going to a hockey game.

after 18-34 comes the dreaded 35-54 demographic Dan....I'm just learning that the past few months.

As for the race, watching the last 10 laps is really all you need to see....everyone's gassed up (hopefully) and then you can see all you need to. (Who watches the first 20 miles of a marathon?) If a favorite crashes early, well it doesn't matter WHY they're not there at the end.

Lastly, will Cowher spit in Shannon Sharpe's face "by accident" on the set next fall?

Unknown said...

I don't get how CBS is hiring Cowher but not firing anyone. Cowher said he was joining 'a good group'. Seriously? People actually watch Marino and Sharpe and think they are great analysts?! Boomer is good just for bitchslapping Marino every week.

Cycledan: I don't follow NASCAR closely. So, no, I don't know about big names getting suspended. However, they are often sent to the rear of the starting group and forced to drive backup cars that have proven to be lesser (yet still fall within gguidelines). So, that's a fair kick in the gut. Though I agree, actual race suspensions for drivers would be better.

Did anyone watch Lakers/Cavs last night? LeBron's stat line would suggest he finally turned it back on. But did it seem that way in game?

Michael Moulton said...

I think Natsfan74 makes a good point. People go to Vegas for many reasons, but the sports fans aren't going to take time away from the tables and sportsbooks to see a game, unless it's a team they care about. The Vegas team won't be bringing the fans in, the visitors will.

But if I want to see my Penguins play, I'd rather go see them in Pittsburgh than plan a Vegas vacation around the Penguins schedule. And why would I want to spend a ton of money to see two teams I don't care about play when I could be spending that money on a show or gambling?

Celine Dion brought people in becase it was the only place to see her. I can see hockey, baseball, and basketball in dozens of other cities.

kirby077 said...

Anybody still calling NASCAR drivers 'athletes'?
A 72 year-old attempted to qualify and apparently did alright until the yellow flag.

Brian in Oxford said...

Vegas could do it on a bigger scale than they do here in Connecticut. The Mohegan Sun arena seats about 10K for WNBA games (I didn't say how many it fills, just how many seats there are), and it opens back up into a shopping area that connects it to the actual gaming areas in the casino.

I don't think using the Thomas & Mack for the team would work, but why couldn't one of the big-name casinos attach a sports arena with quick access to the tables, slots, hotel rooms, etc.

Aitch said...

Kirby, didn't an 80 year old player have an AB for a minor league BB team last year. So by your logic, baseball players aren't athletes either.

kirby077 said...

Oops, my bad. I re-read Dan's post and saw where he mentioned to not comment on the subject of NASCAR drivers as athletes.

Sorry.

Regarding the 80-year old Baseball player, that was a gimmick, the guy in the Daytona didn't embarrass himself.

ToddTheJackass said...

Happy Birthday Dan and thanks again for doing the Blog for us, we appreciate it.

No mention of Keith Foulke retiring? Okay, that's not a shock, but while the dude wasn't loved in his last year+ in Boston, he won't soon be forgotten for his immense contributions to the '04 Playoffs. So I wish him the best of luck, and that he stays the hell away from Burger King.

Andy said...

How absolutely hilarious would it be if on the first time Matzusaka threw the gyroball, it was to a power hitter that jacked it out of the park on one swing? I would have to laugh for days about how much the Red Sox overspent just to get the chance to sign him. Ah, that would be nice......

Unknown said...

rafael-

I did watch the Lakers/Cavs game (and btw, if anyone ever has a question like this about a televised game, chances are I watched it plus I get all the top ACC games because I live in DC) and LeBron went all out. He employed what I like to call the "Classic LeBron James Strategy" which is:

Step 1: Run faster than everyone
Step 2: If they are as fast, use your moves to shake them
Step 3: If the moves don't lose them, use your body to make sure they can't get near you
Step 4: If they still havn't gone away, jump higher because you can
Step 5: Score lots of points

My problem is when LeBron forgets this and tries shooting a lot. I have no problem with him behind the arc, he just needs to limit it to when they are scared of him going with the plan.

ToddTheJackass said...

Oh, and how could we miss talking about Kerry Wood hurting himself in the hot tub? That's approaching Carl Pavano 'legendary' status.

Unknown said...

andy-

You need to read some stuff about the gyroball. It's not gets jacked out of the park. The spin forces it to become a line drive even if the hitter uses that Chipper Jones uppercut swing. Think of how Chien Ming Wang's pitches are all turned into ground balls. Its like that.

Oh yeah. And it also starts out going right to left and then stops and goes left to right and sinks.

So, no home run.

And he can't throw it everytime, that would hurt his arm.

Big D said...

@ guyinthecorner:

I wish all sports could be broken down to a 5-step program/strategy. That would really make coaches' lives easier.

Re: Keith Foulke's Retirement

This really shouldn't come as a surprise to anybody outside of the Cleveland area. Foulke mentioned repeatedly in '05 and '06 that he would probably retire after his contract expired. His heart just wasn't in the game anymore.

Come to think of it, people in Cleveland shouldn't even be surprised by this. That's the type of luck their teams have: spend $5M to sign a mid-level setup guy/closer, have him retire before Spring Training even opens.

ToddTheJackass said...

It's not even certain whether he throws it all. Still, it's not the gyroball that makes him a great pitcher, it's the fact that he has command and control of like 5 pitches.

Unknown said...

I read every day but rarely comment. Just wanted to wish you a happy birthday and keep the posts coming

Unknown said...

How I hate winter. The only thing that keeps me going is the anticipation of sitting in a baseball park for 3 hours. Of course, living in southwest Virginia, there are no teams..

so I'll have to drive to Cincy to watch my Reds' bullpen blow a game. But the hotdogs there are fantastic.

yes, off topic...but its really cold out.

Brian in Oxford said...

And really, Foulke doesn't need the money. If he did, he could come to New England and get any meal he wanted paid for.

Plus, won't he get a residual for being featured in that episode of Lost, where Ben shows Jack the connection to the outside world?

SF said...

happy birthday big guy!

keep on keepin' on...

you couldn't squeeze anything in about the Forsberg trade? it's kind of a big deal...

Aitch said...

@guyinthecorner, twon things. One, even Daisuke himself has repeatedly stated that he does not throw the gyroball, he throws a pitch that is common in japan and known as a shuuto. It's like a reverse slider. Rather than breaking away from the pitchers throwing hand, it breaks back towards the throwing. Therefore, it'll be tough for right handed hitters to hit, and equally tough on lefties, hopefully.

second, if he did throw the gyroball, he could throw it on every pitch, because the supposed mechanics to achieve the perfect gyro are much healthier for a pitcher than the standard delivery.

Patriots64 said...

Forsberg is the toughest Swede since Dolph Lundgren and gives the already 1st place Nashville a legit chance at the Cup,
T Bay, Carolina, and maybe Nashville, what has the NHL come to???

Driver suspensions in NASCAR wouldn't work, the crew chief suspensions and penalties they have are working fine.

tem said...

@danshanoff.com

hmm, using Celine Dion to justify your point that Vegas can sustain 3 sports franchises?

I mean, hell, that says it all right there.

So anyway, I'll just keep this simple:

I plow your wife.

Mills said...

FREE SPEECH!!! No more communist hate!!!

Danielle said...

This is completely off-topic but I'm not a huge basketball fan and I was wondering if anyone else is FLIPPING OUT because Yahoo hasn't posted the fantasy baseball leagues yet?

Mega said...

Happy Birthday Shanoff! I'm going drinking tonight, so I will drink something in your honor. What should the drink be? Beer? Whiskey? Shirley Temple?

Did anyone see this SI article on JD Drew's contract? Outstanding!

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2007/baseball/mlb/02/15/drew.redsox.ap/index.html

Patriots64 said...

@Danielle it says Feb 16th and it is only 8:30 am there so be patient lol. 6 weeks til opening day lol!!

Is anyone setting up a DQ Fantasy league? I Am Canadian and will still kick your butts in fantasy baseball!!

Big D said...

@ Danielle:

4PM EST. 1PM PST (Yahoo! Time).

I have a little countdown clock on the computer screen, a la the Monday Night Football Countdown Clock on ESPN.

There's a chance I'm a little obsessive.

Big D said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mikepcfl said...

With Vegas lobbying so hard to get an NBA team, can you imagine the police are under secret orders not to arrest any NBA players this weekend? It would be the city's (and Stern's) biggest nightmare to have a player arrested early morning at a strip club or worse (bunny ranch). Are you listening Stephen Jackson? I can see them overlooking everything short of murder to keep from an embaressing situation.

Pete said...

Thanks for the comments on the Forsberg trade....

Danielle said...

Thanks, I didn't know I had to wait until 4:00. That's kind of crappy since now I actually will have to do work. How do I make a countdown on my computer?

Unknown said...

Credit goes to BIG D for the inspiration...

In honor of the "Classic LeBron James Strategy" we will now start a game where you make up the 5 easy steps to success for a player.
The challenge will be for someone else to guess what player's "classic strategy" you have written. So if I wrote...
Step 1: Cling to Instant History like it's a branch on a raging river
Step 2: If you let go, Scream for Joakim Noah to save you
Step 3: If he doesn't respond, curse ESPN on your way down the waterfall
Step 4: Use your kid as motivation to fly so you don't die
Step 5: Get back to your apartment to write on this blog, unless it's after 8 AM in which case do nothing for the rest of the day

...and the answer would obviously be Shanoff.

So here's the first one...
Step 1: Get cool nickname
Step 2: Keep your eyes clear
Step 3: Hit it where they are not
Step 4: If that fails, become the best bunter ever
Step 5: If the infielders are good today, invent the Baltimore Chop

Yes, I'm looking at you, BIG D

Natsfan74 said...

This game could be fun:
1. Lose every big game in college.
2. Lose every big game in the NFL.
3. Blame your teammates when you lose due to scheme and protection issues.
4. Set every regular season record imaginable.
5. Enter playoffs with absolutely no expectations, have the worst 4 game stretch of your career, but let teammates wrestle the monkey off of your back and make more commercials than ever.

BLUE said...

@ Danielle
Hey if you're looking for some good fantasy baseball action, and decent guys to talk about whatever's on your mind, head over to this blog

but Big D is not welcome ;)

Danielle said...

Thanks Ben I'll check it out. I love that natsfan is hating on Peyton.

Andy said...

Any of you guys want to set up a Dan Shanoff Readers fantasy baseball league? I think it'd be a lot of fun. Let me know. On this or email me at lennyadlgolf[at]yahoo.com

mark said...

There are only 2 cities in America that are bigger than Las Vegas in population that don't have a professional sports team.

El Paso, TX and Louisville, Kentucky. If you just count Metro areas there are no bigger areas in the country without a sports team than Vegas.


Actually, the biggest metro area in the US without a professional sports team is Hampton Roads, VA (Norfolk/Newport News/Virginia Beach/etc). Vegas is second. If you decide that Riverside/Ontario/San Bernardino is a different thing from LA, then Vegas falls to third.

mark said...

@Brian from Oxford

I bet Vegas could handle a team. Probably not baseball, since it's f'ing hot out there all summer. Gary Bettman's determined to find the hottest, dryest spots for hockey, so I could see it as a race between hockey and basketball. I sorta could imagine lots of parched tourists looking to escape the heat by going to a hockey game.

I think the NHL is done with its warm-weather strategy. Attendance at those games is pathetic, and everyone knows it. Well, I suppose it's not out of the question for one of the already-existing hot-weather teams to move there. The Panthers, maybe--when was the last time anyone went to a Florida Panthers game?

It'll be the NBA who moves to Vegas first, I'm sure of that. Baseball would, I think, prefer Portland or Norfolk. The NHL might do Portland too.

Michael Moulton said...

@Biebs and Mark:

Watch your terminology. Vegas and Hampton Roads both have professional sports teams.

Major league != professional

Big D said...

@ guyinthecorner:

45 minutes later and nobody came up with Wee Willie? For shame...

Unknown said...

Natsfan

Could you be speaking of Peyton Manning?

Someone has to get mine though....

Step 1: Get cool nickname
Step 2: Keep your eyes clear
Step 3: Hit it where they are not
Step 4: If that fails, become the best bunter ever
Step 5: If the infielders are good today, invent the Baltimore Chop

Come on people.

Unknown said...

Thank you Big D.

Can you give us one?

Natsfan74 said...

I would be all for a fantasy baseball league of blog/dq readers.

Danielle -- are you the hookup for Sox tickets this year? a lawyer in New England should have easy access.......

Peyton Manning has thrown over 100 touchdowns to Marvin Harrison in the regular season. Harrison has 2 career post-season TD catches -- both at Denver in the same blowout win. Harrison has a career average of 6 catches per game in the regular seaon, 4 catches/game post season, 81 yards/game RS, 60 YPG in the playoffs. Maybe Harrison is the choker so I should have written the 5 rules for him instead!

ToddTheJackass said...

Okay, I've got one (this is pretty easy though):

1) NCAA BB Coach
2) Referees love him and reward his team constantly
3) Only 3 people in the universe can spell his name correctly without looking it up
4) Has a fixation for tall white kids
5) His team is the leading cause of Infant Puppy Cancer and Bobby Hurley

Any guesses?

Big D said...

Lots to respond to here...

@ guyinthecorner: I'll try to come up with something relatively obscure, just for the hell of it. Give me an hour or so though, I've got actual work to do today.

@ andy: I'm in. 'Nuff Said

@ natsfan74: First, kudos on a very subtle jab at Mr. Manning. I really had to step back a little to figure out who you were satirizing... :)
Second, I agree that a New England lawyer should have the Sox ticket hookup. Though, New England lawyers & doctors are just about the only people who can afford tickets to the games, aside from the palyers themselves...

And finally, @ danielle: //Begin horrible attempt at Instant History Humor:

I don't actually have a countdown clock. I apologize if the things I said were misconstrued in anyway - the comment was just a off-the-cuff remark, meant as a joke. If I have offended anyone within the ESPN family of networks, I apologize. And most of all, I would like to offer my sincere apologies to my family, my friends, and the league of supporters who have stood by me in this trying time...

//End horrible attempt at Instant History Humor

Yeah, I think there's a site out there where you can find a countdown clock program. Hell, you can find just about anything else.

Brian in Oxford said...

Tough to say on Peyton / Marvin.....Peyton throws 'em, Marvin watches Ty Law pick 'em off.

I got smart about the Sox game I'm going to see in April. Get the seats in Baltimore. Amusing that the Orioles addressed me as "Dear Orioles fan" despite the Connecticut address. But hey, $15 a seat for approximately the same view as a $45 Fenway seat.

If we make a league of fantasy baseball for blog readers, does Dan automatically become commissioner? Or can we just appoint Big D?

Brian in Oxford said...

oops...or lenny/Andy.

(I don't know how to be a commissioner, despite the last name of Gordon)

Unknown said...

Natsfan, Danille -

If we are going to Peyton Manning humor I'll go back and get the "Questions for Peyton Manning on Super Bowl Media Day".

Mind you these were written before Rexcrement out-choked Peyton in XLI.

Have you considered that due to Rex being a Gator QB you are obligated by law to throw 4 INTs and blow this game completely?

Do you plan to do what got you here or switch it up and show us something besides the Manning Face on Sunday?

Do you like 6"5 230 pound quarterbacks with laser rocket arms?

Do you plan to continue your family obsession with lack of Lombardi trophies?

What do you say to accusations by your brother that you are hogging all the big game situations, and never giving him the chance to choke?

Could we have the name, age, hobbies, weight, and species of that monkey on your back?

Rumor has it that you claimed the termonolgy of having a monkey on one's back comes from when you were attacked at a zoo as a child and not from a Sinbad story? Is this true?

Does it bother you that you would have to pull off another 4 game playoff run and win back to back Super Bowls just to match your career post-season and regular season winning percentages?

We all know that you did not attend Ole Miss so as to not attempt to fill your father's shoes. Do you consider repeatedly failing to win the Super Bowl an attempt to fill your father's shoes?

You appear to be slightly upset and we all know that you lost all of your Bowl games in college. Word on the street is that you are scared of anything having to do with bowls. Obviously this will effect your performance, but my question is; how does it effect your everyday life? Are you in fact terrified of cereal due to its inherent relationship with bowls and is it true that you have never been bowling eventhough it involves no actual bowl?

Unknown said...

I would be in for said fantasy league.

And I believe that TODD CHING was referring to Mike Krizoosky.

Although I would like to clarify some of Todd Ching's mistakes.

It's Steps to being this person.
Not things about him. Read the Shanoff, Keeler, and Manning ones to see how it's done.

But I obviously still appreciate your participation.

ToddTheJackass said...

My apologies, thanks for correcting the mistake. Although I don't think it's possible for anyone to replicate the massive destruction caused by infant puppy cancer or Bobby Hurley.

I would also be in for said fantasy league (already sent Andy/Lenny an e-mail).

You realize of course how much Dan would hate it if we used the comments section purely to gloat about our fantasy teams though, right?

CMFost said...

The only way ateam could be successful in Vegas is if it played all there home games Friday, Saturday or Sunday that way you would give all the fans of the visiting team an excuse to go to Vegas for the Weekend. Also I think only the NBA or NHL could work, No Nfl since the Casinos make way to much money off of betting on the games and they would not want to have not bet on even one game. MLB would not work since it is just too damn hot there in the summer.

CMFost said...

Fantasy baseball league I have a couple of spots open in my league. If anyone is interested send me an email and I will go over the details.

Big D said...

Steps to becoming _______________:

1) Form 1/2 of the most feared hitting combo in all of baseball for many years, breaking offensive records at a dizzying pace. Defense be damned.
2) Continually pop off at the media, fans, other players, anyone in general if they discount your contributions to the game. Engage in fistfights if necessary.
3) Switch teams to try to regain the national prowess you once had. Slowly fade from national memory, and retire uncerimoniously.
4) Write a tell-all book throwing countless hundreds of former friends and teammates under the bus. Enjoy a sudden, if brief, return to prominence. Milk it for all it's worth.
5) Fade off into the sunset again, but not before becomming the butt of thousands of late night comedy jokes. Vow that we "haven't heard the last of you". Do so while wagging index finger menacingly.

6) - Optional: Lather, rinse, repeat.

OK, so it's not nearly as obscure as Wee Willie Keeler, but I had a little fun with it, anyway. I especially like how, after I finished writing all of this, it reads like a recipe or something.

CMFost said...

Oh Yeah - HAPPY BIRHTDAY DAN!!!

JFreak said...

We're back in America?

No nazi moderation?

It's all too much to handle.

Brian in Oxford said...

Nah, Dan's into the whole fantasy as reality....Red Sox fans with Carl Pavano on the roster, Mets fans wanting Smoltz to win for fantasy purposes...

Brian in Oxford said...

Jose Canseco

Big D said...

Atta boy Brian...

Also, cmfost - what took you so long to get in here? Hangover?

Unknown said...

Brian beat me to it.

Anybody have another one?

I might think of something...

Unknown said...

Step 1: Be one of the only consistent pieces in one of the best dynasties in your sports' history.
Step 2: Don't be a jerk and always do what you have to for the the team.
Step 3: Retire as the leader at your position with all the respects of everybody.
Step 4: Get passed over for the Hall of Fame over and over again.
Step 5: Don;t complain about it, eventhough you should, cause that's who you are.

Unknown said...

I'd do fantasy baseball as well.

CMFost said...

No Big D I actually have been caught in meeting all day and this was the frist chance I have had to check out the blog.

Danielle said...

I would be in for the fantasy league, however I have told many people I will be in leagues, is there a limit before one becomes a complete fantasy loser?

One would think a New England attorney could easily get tickets, but alas, that is not the case.

Brian, I went to law school in PA and attended numerous Red Sox games at Camden. I always found that there were more Sox fans than Orioles fans there. Felt like home. (You know, except the whole modern ballpark thing. I love you Fenway.)

ToddTheJackass said...

Art Monk?

CMFost said...

Step 1: Get masters degree from HBS
Step 2: Pitch an Idea for a daily column to ESPN
Step 3: Spend several years writing the column and hostin a daily morning chat.
Step 4: Get Fired from ESPN for reasons unknown to his readers
Step 5: start a blog to try and rebuild from the ground up.

Brian in Oxford said...

Damn, Todd got that one....see what happens when the comment moderation is off? The answer was already up before I saw the post!

Another great place to watch the Red Sox (or insert your favorite team, playing on the road) is Tampa. Day before, we bought seats behind the dugout, 7th row....the whole section was Sox fans. And those seats were only $38 each back in '04.

ToddTheJackass said...

I thought the reason Dan got fired from ESPN was that temwr was an exec at ESPN and Dan kept plowing that pathetic dude's wife...

I could be wrong though.

CMFost said...

Hey Danielle do not be sad, I use to work at Fenway and I still have friend that work there and I can not even get tickets.

EPorvaznik said...

Happy birthday, Dan! As someone who just left his mid-thirties a couple weeks ago, welcome to yours...not to bum you out or anything.

Unknown said...

Art Monk is correct.

And by the way, I am an Orioles fan that has come tolike the Red Sox under the clause of "The enemy of my enemy is my friend." Besides the fact that I love the personalities, Jews, and now Dice-K as I watched him take names during the WBC.

There's nothing like going to Camden. I only found out after my childhood that other stadiums weren't all like my own. I do love Fenway though.

Me and my bro have already committed to going the first time Matsuzaka comes to town.

CMFost said...

I could set up the fantasy league. The questions would be - Roto, Points or Head to Head League? How many teams should we have? Live Draft or Auto Draft? And should we include Dan so we can all hopefully trash him?

Nice rip on Tem, Todd

Unknown said...

CMFOST-

I already did one for Shanoff if you hadn't seen it.

But come up with another that's a WEE BIT HARDER.

Yes. We already did Wee Willie Keeler.

Brian in Oxford said...

I have already thought about counting off games and the rotation to hope for a Dice-K start at OPCY, but with rainouts, you can't guess anything (nor do we know if he'll be the 2-3-4-5 starter).

OPCY is great, been twice. Once it was 100 degrees for a night game. I've got a picture of my sweat-soaked age 4 daughter with the oriole mascot.

macpherf said...

I don't really have anything intelligent to add to this comments section, so here's a video of Mr. Belding and Tony Romo singing Journey.

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1742348

chitown italian said...

Well that didn't take too long. Thanks Wood for providing the first injury to the Cubs World Series run in 2007.

I made it out of the 34 demographic one year earlier than Shanny. Why is this important? Because I used to say in middle/high school that my Cubbies would be back to back World Series Champs at the hundred year marks.

Enough said and sad.

ToddTheJackass said...

Camden is definitely a sweet stadium. That and SBC/PacBell/that place where the outfield is big enough to contain Bonds' gigantic head, are the two best of the new parks. But nothing is quite like being at Fenway, as its truly the only thing of its kind, and the only place that costs $23 for a cramped bleacher seat.

I used to only do H2H leagues, but after doing a roto league for the first time last year, I loved that one. Granted I had both Pujols and Howard on my team, so maybe that influenced it a little bit... but still, I think Roto is the way to go, as it eliminates the fluky playoff system of H2H and pitcher streaming.

Live Draft is the best way to go. After reading Fantasyland, I really want to try an auction draft as well at some point, but that's a lot harder to do, isn't it?

Andy said...

Ok guys, it'd be much easier if you emailed me so I could just email you guys an invite to set it up.

If Dan wants to be the commissioner, that's fine with me but I think we all want to set it up soon and he's not gonna be around much this weekend so if you want me to do it or if someone else wants to, let me know.

I prefer the head-to-head format over rotisserie but we can leave that up to a vote. I've gotten emails from Todd Ching and John L. If I set it up, it'll be a 12-team league so I need nine more people to email me. If you post here, email me anyways. I'll try to set it up as fast as possible but there's a possible meeting at work so I might not get to it right away.
lennyadlgolf[at]yahoo.com

Patriots64 said...

Live Draft so we can rib each during the proceedings, head to head league with aprox 15 categories.
We can all laugh when Big D or Brian take Dice K in the first round.

Natsfan74 said...

How is this for obscure:

1. Come up to the big leagues with the Cubs, post a few losing seasons pitching with Greg Maddux.
2. Make first all-star appearance at age 40.
3. At age 29, get cut by Cardinals, Cubs, and Tigers in one year. Pitch in minor leagues for a year and a half with 2 different teams.
4. 1996 -- Get identified by Team GM as better than multi-time Cy Young winner (whose career is on downhill slide). Gets traded same year, after GM also lets Cy-Guy move on.
5. Keep pitching well into his 40s, establishing career bests in wins, K/BB ratio, and ERA at age 40. Have 200 career wins, 3 - 20 win seasons.

Unknown said...

Looks like it would have to be 12:
Guyinthecorner
Daddy Rossee
CMFOST
Big D
Danielle
Andy/Lenny
NatsFan74
Brian in Oxford
Todd Cing
Rafael
Patriots64

Assuming we save a spot for Dan, that's already 12.

Andy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Brian in Oxford said...

That's Jamie Moyer

Andy said...

I've received emails from:
todd ching
John L
Danielle
daddy rosee
brian at oxford


The rest of you in the list that cmfost put up, PLEASE EMAIL ME ASAP!!
lennyadlgolf[at]yahoo.com

Andy said...

sorry, guyinthecorner put up the list. Either way, if you are on that list, email me.

Big D said...

@ natsfan:

Off the top of my head... Would that be Jamie Moyer?

Unknown said...

My name is guyinthecorner but wtvr.

Andy said...

Sorry for a third comment in about 3 minutes, but just got an email from Big D and I have to give him props here for hilarity. The subject line was as follows:
Dan Shan Fan Baseball League

It might only be funny to me, but I laughed at it. Props Big D. Props.

Unknown said...

Who is John L?

ToddTheJackass said...

Alright, I have a tough one (glad to see everyone else is having a lazy Friday):

1) Be a 27 year old, MLB pitcher
2) Went to Princeton
3) Has only 2 full years MLB experience
4) Got his team's only win in the 2006 playoffs for his team
5) Lead MLB in BAA in 2006 (among qualified leaders)

I think you'll be surprised to find out #5...

Anyone who gets this (without looking it up), I will consider serious competition for Fantasy Baseball.

Natsfan74 said...

This is a very slow day at work. I am so glad comment moderation is off so that I have something to do all day. 100 comments and only one jerk so far....

Has anyone read Dan's write-up on Wikipedia? I bet he wrote it himself.... Like I said, slow day at work.

Go Cubs!

Patriots64 said...

I am John L.

Brian in Oxford said...

Chris Young?

Big D said...

Damn Todd.. that is obscure...

But he's a hell of a picther. And the Rangers got fleeced in that trade. Chris Young is a stud.

ToddTheJackass said...

Well done Brian... well done indeed... isn't that amazing he led all of MLB in BAA as a pitcher?

Lou said...

Todd Ching's guy is SD's Chris Young. I know because the Pirates traded him for Matt Herges, who promptly never played a game for the Buccos.

Natsfan74 said...

Am I the only person who is shocked Jamie Moyer has won 20 games 3 times? When the Cubs traded him for Mitch "Wild Thing" Williams prior to 1988 season, I was so glad to see him go. Who knew?

My favorite stadiums are Wrigley and Fenway for obvious reasons. But one new stadium that is great is Citizens Bank Park in Philly. The stadium has great amenities, good sight lines around the stadium, and a great backdrop with the view of downtown Philly. I like it better than OPCY even. I am going to try to get out to PNC Park this year too, I hear that one is fantastic. Anyone been?

verbal97 said...

Jamie Moyer

Big D said...

Whoa lou... I thought Young got moved from the Rangers in the Adrian Gonzalez deal?

Or maybe it was 2 seperate deals. Now I'm confused.

By the way - after seeing this, no one should be seriously considering Daisuke in the first seven or eight rounds...

Unknown said...

I just saw that somebody already got Chris Young.

Todd...
isn't that amazing he led all of MLB in BAA as a pitcher?

I think it would have been more impressive if he led the MLB in BAA as a batter.

Brian in Oxford said...

I figured it out on the Princeton thing (fellow ivy leaguer)...plus it didn't hurt that one of the ESPN MLB blogs mentioned him earlier today, so he was fresh in my mind.

I should try to come up with one, huh...

Step 1. Just miss the Olympics, losing the finals to make the US team.
Step 2. Ascend furiously through the ranks of the sport by the time you're 21.
Step 3. Win championship in an overwhelming rout, defeating champ (and former champ's brother)
Step 4. Lose championship in upset that begins the neverending spiral to jail time, drugs, divorce...
Step 5. Get silly tattoo on face.

Lou said...

No, he did. He got traded from the Pirates, who drafted him, to Montreal in '03, at which point he ended up going to Texas, and then off to San Diego. And it made me vomit every time he had a good start last year, even though he was on my fantasy team.

Andy said...

cmfost and rafael email me so i can invite you to the league

I sent out an invite to everyone else, including Dan. If he doesn't want to do it, I'll let everyone know.

Patriots64 said...

Alright, my turn:

1) will be 26 on Sunday
2) From Coffee, Alabama
3) former 1st round draft pick
4) made the All-Star team as a reserve in 06
5) 2003 MVP winner in AA

Danielle said...

Mike Tyson.

Today I officially become the worst. employee. ever.

Brian in Oxford said...

okay, I cheated for Alexis Rios.

Apparently googling for
2003 aa mvp "coffee, alabama"
retuns only one web page.

ToddTheJackass said...

You're the man Lenny/Andy.

I hope y'all are ready to compete with someone who has a ridiculous amount of free time at work, and an understanding girlfriend at home.

Andy said...

Ok, the league is created, and yes, the name of it is Dan Shan Fan(s). Big D gets credit for naming the league. Dan has been invited. We'll see if he plays. It'll be fun if he does. I just set up the league for default settings essentially. Everything can be changed up until the draft so if you want something, let me know so I can consider it. It's set up as head-to-head but that can be changed as well. If Dan joins, I can also hand over the commissioner post to him, so we can do that if we want too. Let's do it guys(and girl)!

Sean said...

@natsfan74

Been to PNC...live in Pittsburgh.

It's unbelievable. But, I don't only have Minute Maid and Great American to compare it to.

Still, I've heare NOTHING but good things from those who have been around.

Let me know if you come to town...I can definitely point you in the right direction!

Unknown said...

you the man andy/lenny

Patriots64 said...

I am in as Jays64, Any guess what round Barry Bonds will be drafted??

Mega said...

brian- Mike Tyson? =P

Anyone who takes Dice-K in an early round is taking a risk bigger than Sid Ponson.

BLUE said...

Dan needs to turn the comment moderation back on. You guys are fucking insane with your trivia and fantasy baseball talk. Maybe you should start your own blog where you can talk about whatever the fuck you want. Maybe stick to the subjects in the post.

Lou said...

Name that blogger:

1) Is an unapologetic New England shill (I mean that in a good way.)
2) Went off on an evening long drinking party after IU hired Kelvin Sampson.
3) Has Morris Peterson as their MySpace friend.
4) When drunk, will sing the Ohio State fight song...incessantly.
5) Is planning on recycling their fantasy baseball team name.

Andy said...

Ben, calm down. We're trying to set up a fantasy league. It's set up now so the 12 of us in it will talk on the message board in the league. Deal with it. COmment moderation blows. I have barely commented lately because the moderation really throws things off.

Dan Shan Fan(s) Players: Take a look at the positions and stat categories and let me know what you want and don't want. I'm up for pretty much anything so just let me know. And do it on the message board since ben is freaking out

Unknown said...

my "or maybe not" post was @ben btw

Big D said...

@ todd: I can beat that. I have an inordinate amount of free time at work, and - shockingly - no current girlfriend waiting for me at home. Just my two dogs.

And Patriots/Jays64, last year I took him in the 14th round. Of course, I also managed to get Schilling in the 11th and Thome in the 13th.

The guys in that league weren't really paying attention.

ToddTheJackass said...

Always the hardest part of fantasy sports is coming up with a team name that balances offensive, funny, but without being tasteless, and keeping it 20 letters or smaller...

Unfortunately, JeterMakesBabyJesusCry is a couple letters too long.

Mega said...

Wow, is it just me, or are 75% of the readers from the NE area?

1)Once played for the Knicks
2)Coached the best NBA team in history
3)Has a knack for controlling egos (but once failed)
4)Currently coaching the player with the biggest ego of them all
5)His assistant's first name is also the first 3 letters of a U.S. state

Big D said...

Todd

Drop the "e's" in "Jeter". We'll all know who you mean.

And Mega... Phil Jackson. Who's his assisstant?

Mega said...

toddching-

That name is terrific. I'd like to hear other witty names for fantasy leagues.

My football fantasy teams' name is always "4TDs_in1gameBundy".

My favorite baseball name I heard wasn't sports related, but it made me laugh and I don't know why: "Assrevolution"

Danielle said...

By the way, Lou was referring to me. I hate him.

ToddTheJackass said...

In the past I've used A-Rod Has the Clap, and Jews for Johnny Damon...

I'm saving Cory's Flying Circus for a league that has a bunch of Yankees fans in it.

Yes... that's pushing it...

Brian in Oxford said...

well, KC Jones ('86 Celts) didn't play for the Knicks so I guess you're suggesting Phil Jackson

Andy said...

Todd, that is very pushing it, BUT FREAKING HILARIOUS!!!!!!

Big D said...

I've been bored lately, using "Put Witty Name Here" in most of my leagues.

For this one, I've opted for the simple subtelty of "D". Really says it all.

//End arrogance...

The Legend of Vincent Tremblay said...

Doing Dan's NHL work for him:

Peter Forsberg was traded from the basement Flyers to the penthouse Predators for two young players and some draft picks. (If Nashville fans start showing up now, does that officially reduce Paul Kariya to chopped liver? And if the fans don't show up, will Bettman have the huevos to ship the franchise to Winnipeg or Hartford?)

Friday:
PIT@NJ: An Atlantic division match-up, and both teams are on strong runs.

Saturday:
ATL@OTT, CAR@MON: Montreal is one point out of the playoffs right now, and Carolina is closing in on Atlanta.

Sunday:
SJ@DAL: With Anaheim reeling, the Sharks and Stars are both looking to take advantage in the Pacific.
WSH@PIT: Crosby! Ovechkin! It's the Game of the Week on Fox-- I mean NBC!

Lou said...

She outted me. The hatred's mutual.

Here's a good one:
1) Drafted by the Cardinals in 1983.
2) Traded in exchange for Tony Pena on April Fools' Day 1987.
3) Multiple division winner.
4) Five-time Gold Glove winner.
5) Currently a coach for the Tigers.

verbal97 said...

How about Hardaway Hates Dice-K (or better yet Varitek) for a name, jackass

Mills said...

"I can beat that. I have an inordinate amount of free time at work, and - shockingly - no current girlfriend waiting for me at home. Just my two dogs."

Also filed under breaking news today. 2+2=4 AND Liberace was gay.

Brian in Oxford said...

Andy Van Slyke!

Big D said...

Holy Crap Keith... Foulke? I knew you were a devout hockey fan, but to retire from MLB just to write about upcoming hockey games...

I kid, I kid... Actually, that Washington/Pittsburgh game looks great. Might actually watch an entire hockey game for the first time since the last game of the Finals last year.

Lou said...

Well done, Brian. He's also known for attempting to catch fly balls in his hat during BP.

Mega said...

Brian- I said best team EVER, not best team pre-1996 =)

Todd- wow...WOW...we have a winner folks.

Big D said...

@ natsfan74:

sPEDs. You are a God.

Brian, you however, terrify me. Please tell me you're at least looking some of this stuff up? I can't even google the question that fast.

ToddTheJackass said...

@Daddy... yes, it's obviously terrible and I am an awful, awful person. I realize this and am ready to move on with my life.

Natsfan74 said...

Does anyone have ESPN Insider? I am curious about what they say today, comparing Oden to Durant.

Also, almost overlooked in all of this is the comment on Mustain heading to USC. I mentioned it on here last week, but still can't believe USC would even think about it. Here's a kid who, while still in HS, said he would only to to Arkansas if they fired the coach. While in college his parents complained to the AD about lack of playing time and style of offense -- while they were leading the SEC WEST? He is a d-bag of the finest order, so maybe he fits in at USC, as long as his parents pay his roommate's rent.

But really, USC has 2 great QB already (JDB is a potential Heisman winner), and signed a top 5 guy this year. The only reason USC should want Mustain is to keep CAL or UCLA from getting him.

CMFost said...

All I know is once the Fantasy Baseball Season starts I will be writing a weekly comment on my blog regarding who did what for the fantasy week.



Here is the link to my blog

verbal97 said...

cmfost has a blog?! He never, ever mentions it.

Big D said...

Hey now, what's are the InstaWebs for, if not shameless self promotion?

I mean, how else would we have ever found this blog if not for the link on the final Quickie?

CMFost said...

Hey I only mention when I publish something that people may or may not want to read. And for the most part it is not read.

Patriots64 said...

Interesting!

"After signing a 7 year, 126 million dollar contract, what does every good pitcher do? Yep, you drastically change your delivery.

The left-hander started the session measuring the distance from the rubber to a line he drew in the dirt, then with feet about shoulder-width apart, bouncing slightly he took a large step backward to gain momentum, pushed off hard using his now-stronger legs and finished off with a much longer stride.
Please explain, Mr. Zito, as this caught even pitching coach Dave Righetti by surprise in what he termed a "going from one extreme to the other" alteration.


So he's taking a huge step back and then striding much farther forward as opposed to starting from a still position. But sure, maybe he can regain his velocity. Just as long as he keeps that killer curve of his, he should be fine.

"With that backward step, he could wind up at second base," quipped Righetti. "He may not pitch that way, but we'll find out. That will wear him down on different mounds, and it's going to be tough.
"He's a good athlete, and to me it's all about making his pitches. If he loses his curveball ... which he could because he's throwing from a different angle now instead of straight up as before. Now he's way out there."

"We'll see," added Righetti, "how his groin is tomorrow."

ToddTheJackass said...

@Daddy, it's actually "Falun Gong", and that's actually pretty funny. Seriously, it's obscure enough that I kind of like it.

verbal97 said...

@cmfost.

I was only joking. I've actually been to your blog

Big D said...

@ patriots64:

You didn't expect Zito to change his mechanics before guaranteeing himself $126 Million, did you? Now that he's set for life (or at least the next seven years) he can try all types of new things.

Hell, if I had that type of financial security, I'd try to develop a pitch where I closed my eyes, spun around four times, then threw a pseudo-knuckleball with my non-dominant hand.

Yes, I pitched for ten years. No, I couldn't do that if I tried. But it sure would be fun to watch.

Brian in Oxford said...

I have ESPN Insider ($40 a year, and includes a subscription to The Magazine)....in it they say that although Durant's a better talent, his VORP wouldn't be as high as Oden's will be.

And Big D....did you forget Tex Winter, the master of the triangle offense?

Brian in Oxford said...

Did anyone read the Globe story about Dice at least experimenting with a knuckleball a few times, but he had no control over it.

The world does need a fastball-knuckleballer. That would get some batter to drop a load in the batter's box.

CMFost said...

There is one thing I can guarantee you when we draft for the Fantasy League. There will not be a single Yankees player on my team.

Andy said...

Fantasy Baseball League--Check the Board

verbal97 said...

I think the catcher would drop a bigger load.

ToddTheJackass said...

On MVP 2005, they had Satchell Paige in video game form, and his 4th pitch was a knuckler, which went well with his 98mph fastball, his 55mph curve, and his spinning around 4 times before throwing with his opposite hand.

I heart Satchell Paige.

Brian in Oxford said...

Not if the catcher's the one calling for the pitch.

What's really scary is that I only topped out around 70 mph in the concourse of a minor league ballpark a couple of years ago (no warmups, but still, yuck). That's the actual speed of Wake's knuckler (high 60s, usually), and I can't get a fastball that speed?

verbal97 said...

cmfost is conceding already. How can you not consider anyone from their line-up?

Even I, as a Yankee fan, wouldn't be morally opposed to having a Red Sox player on my team.

verbal97 said...

Brian...have you actually seen Jason Varitek try to catch a knuckleball. It's the highest of all comedy

Aitch said...

CM, you are forgetting the most important rule in fantasy sports. Draft with your head not your heart. You may not like the Yankees, but you have to admit that anyone in that lineup is gonna put up some sick numbers.

Danielle said...

It's pretty easy to draft a good team without having a single yankee player. cmfost will break before I do.

Andy said...

rafael, if you read this, check your email and join the league!

Marcus T said...

Wow, I saw 172 posts and thought the assholes were at it again. Good to see actual sports debate happening on here once again. Happy 34th Dan.

As for pimping your blog, it's ok. As long as you admit it is shameless self-promotion. Besides, we all have comment names so it's only one extra click to arrive at any of our blogs.

Brian in Oxford said...

At least picking a yankee on my fantasy team is sorta like hedging my bets. The worst would be the Yankees winning a bunch, but Jeter (or insert yankee here) having a suck-ass season, too.

I've seen Varitek try to catch the knuckler, yeah...unfortunately all I can use for evidence is game 5 from the '04 ALCS. That's why Mirabelli got the police escort from Logan, when Josh Bard was pretty much given away last year.

ToddTheJackass said...

Even as much as I hate the Yankees (see: Cory's Flying Circus), I admit that in Fantasy Baseball I even break down and take Yankees if I have to... but if you're a moralist, I totally understand and respect that, as I, of course, have no morals.

So what's the over/under on amount of players getting in trouble at the All Star game?

Marcus T said...

Oooo, fantasy baseball debate? I had the sickest team last year, and every draft pick performed above expectations. AND I STILL FUCKING LOST. But I'm not bitter.

What kind of league you guys setting up? If there is room I wouldn't mind joining, but don't feel bad if you have to tell me to fuck off. And, if it's H2H, don't even bother me. That type of league is just not my thing.

Mega said...

The question: Who is the best pitcher in the history of baseball?

The answer: Bugs Bunny

Brian in Oxford said...

Watch me paste this pathetic palooza with my powerful parralyzing perfect pachydermic percussion pitch...

Boom! Outta the park....althoug Bugs does hail a cab and throw his glove up to snare the ball somewhere midtown...

Andy said...

Marcus, we may have room. It's a roto league. rafael has to sign up still and we're hoping Dan will jion. Email me at lennyadlgolf[at]yahoo[dot]com.

Personally, I think the best pitcher is the Honey Nut Cheerios Bee. Have you guys seen the back of that box? That is one wicked pitch!!

CMFost said...

danielle, I will not crack. No yankees means no Yankees.

Big D said...

Woooooooooo! Commenters take over the world!

Nice work today everyone. Of course, if we stay off topic much longer, that damned moderation will get thrown back in our face pretty damned fast.

How about this - since the NBA ASG is in Vegas (hadn't you heard?), anybody got any good Vegas stories? As a young Vegas Veteran (Been eight times in my four "legal" years), I may have one or two...

BLUE said...

CM-
Good to see where your allegiances lie. That's all i'm saying. I thought maybe you were out sick today or something.

CMFost said...

Big D - What happens in vegas, Stays in Vegas.

Unknown said...

Damn andy, you work fast. I can't comment every 10 minute (well, usually i can..had meetings today. But I'm in if there's still a spot.) and i emailed ya

CMFost said...

Ben, unfortunetly sometimes I actually have to do work.

CMFost said...

Ok, anyone have a guess as to how many people will get busted this weekend cheating at the Daytona 500?

Patriots64 said...

First time on ESPN front page in a while:
Highlights: Matsuzaka Mania

and:
Scottie Pippen is serious about making an NBA comeback.

Pippen, 41, hasn't played since February 2004, when a left knee injury forced him to retire. But he told reporters Thursday that he wants to return, hopefully to a contender that could make use of his experience in a playoff run.

He said he's in good shape, his knee is fine and he'd even be willing to sign a 10-day contract to prove what he can do.

Brian in Oxford said...

Geez, if Scottie wins ring #7, that would only mean another return of MJ.

God help us everyone!

Andy said...

rafael, check your email.

Andy said...

TWO

Andy said...

HUNDRED

Andy said...

COMMENTS!!!!!!!




ok, that was obnoxious. I apologize...

verbal97 said...

what's the over/under on comments next week when we go back to mediation?

Big D said...

@ verbal:

20. 30 if the topic is good.

Brian in Oxford said...

The real question is whether or not he's had the chance to check in on his little kingdom...

Patriots64 said...

Mediation or moderation. we need a lawyer!!

Jen said...

You guys are slap-happy today!

Happy 34th, Dan. I admit that it hit me quite hard when I fell out of the 18-34 demographic.

Can't believe another Cleveland franchise signs someone in the off-season and then they decide to hang it up! Speaking of which, did anyone ever hear about Bob Hallen's sudden retirement from the Browns? He was behind me at our alma mater's football game, but I really didn't have the heart to say: "Hey Bob, what the heck is your problem?!"

ToddTheJackass said...

Might as well enjoy it while it lasts, right?

I doubt any team will seriously take a look at Scottie. I mean, what team has enough depth that they'd cut an active player to have a 41 vet with knee problems, who hasn't been good in how many years?

Jen said...

I would never draft a Yankee for fantasy, either....not if I can possibly help it!

verbal97 said...

How many of you Yankee haters have ever won a fantasy league before?

Mediation...Moderation, whatever, it's Friday man!

Natsfan74 said...

Danielle is our lawyer. She can represent all of us.

When picking Teams, like basketball pools and weekly pick 'em challenges, you have to go head first, then heart (like putting Duke in Sweet 16 every year, no matter the loathing), but in fantasy, it's easy to avoid any Yankees. Want 3b offensive numbers -- pick Aramis Ramirez. Shortstop -- Michael Young.... etc.,

There will be no Mets on my team. I hate the Yankees more, but Mets are easy to ignore and they play in the NL East.

Now that Bonds has signed his contract, what's the over/under on the date he breaks the record. He's in DC in September, I hope he's still chasing it then....

Brian in Oxford said...

Before his legs fell apart, I was hoping Bonds might get an inside-the-parker for 756, because then the ball doesn't leave the park to be sold. Heck, an outfielder could slip on a ball down the line, the ball rolls around long enough for Bonds to circle the bases, and then the outfielder picks up the ball and pockets it.

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