Thursday, July 05, 2007

Thursday 07/05 A.M. Quickie:
Chesnut, Rockies, Darko, Tiger, Roenick, More!

Chesnut beats Kobayashi for Hot Dog Eating title: I was trying to think about a "real"-sport analogue for yesterday's greatest moment in competitive eating history.

Consider the who: The sport's greatest legend, a quasi-mysterious foreigner, against his biggest rival, an American upstart. The when and where: Coney Island on the Fourth of July, live on national TV. And the performance: BOTH competitors shattered the previous world record, then the challenger pulled away from the champ to take the title.

If comp-eating wasn't such a farce (by design, mind you), this result would be cinematic in scope. It's like a mash-up of the first four "Rocky" movies.

Think about the greatest game or performance or moment in any "real" sport -- then consider them all happening at the same time. That's what happened yesterday at Coney Island.

And that's why, as laughable as it sounds, I have trouble coming up with an analogue from traditional sports history that compares to what happened yesterday with Chesnut and Kobayashi.

The idea that it was unprecedented in sports history gets choked down like that 66th hot dog at the 12-minute mark.

UPDATE: But what about the puke?! I totally neglected to mention the part where Kobayashi vomited -- on-camera, no less. That particular part of this "greatest" moment is apparently not allowed to air on ESPN, even though "reversals of fortune" -- particularly one of this magnitude -- is (a) part of the charm ("charm") of competitive eating and (b) only adds to the drama of yesterday's results. Is it because the clip is gross? Or because, technically, Kobayashi should have been disqualified for the R.O.F.? Show the clip! (Watch it here. This will be the most YouTube-able moment of the event.)

Will A-Rod skip the All-Star Game? If the best thing for his team is for him to spend the three days resting, he should. The fans who made gave him the mega-vote totals will understand. The worst thing he could do is force it, play in the ASG, then end up pushing back his full recovery. Just show up to SF to enjoy the spectacle.

In case you missed it from Tuesday night: Bonds 751.

MLB Stud, Team: The Rockies. Between sweeping the Yankees last month and now the Mets this week, who would have guessed that the best baseball team in New York would be based in Colorado?

MLB Stud, Player: Fred Lewis, the rookie filled in for Barry Bonds and hit a grand slam, his second of the season (a first for a Giants rookie).

OK, OK: Hunter Pence. There, I said it.

Durant Era begins for Sonics: Seattle signs their franchise cornerstone, along with running-mate Jeff Green. Now, with both Durant and Oden signed, we can look forward to their summer-league matchup next week, which will arguably be the most hotly anticipated NBA summer-league game in league history.

Will the Mavs get KG? Cuban wants him, but I still think that KG ends up in Golden State -- if anywhere.

NBA Free Agency: In case you missed it yesterday, I declared Darko Milicic the most intriguing remaining free agent of the season. Despite an early career that didn't live up to the pre-draft hype, he still has the tantalizing potential of a 22-year-old 7-footer with 3-ish years of NBA experience (including a ring!) (a) Who will sign him, and (b) how much will they (over-)pay?

Juan Carlos Navarro Watch: As a Wizards fan, I would be really ticked if they traded his rights, now that he's finally available to come over from Europe to play in the NBA.

Wimbledon: Venus crushes Maria, but Serena is ousted on that bad wheel.

Hockey: Jeremy Roenick retired. So I guess the question is how quickly he gets himself that TV gig he has so obviously wanted all these years. He rivals Curt Schilling (surprisingly quiet during his stint on the DL) for media whoredom. Not that that's a bad thing.

Olympics: Sochi, Russia was awarded the 2014 Winter Olympics. Hell, by then, the climate problems will have made it better for the Summer Games than the Winter ones.

Tiger Watch: Let the speculation run wild over whether new fatherhood will hurt Tiger's focus, particularly merely three weeks into the experience. Hell, I went back to writing the Quickie within a week of the kid being born. (Wait... that isn't the same thing?)

-- D.S.


marvin's lost smile said...

My thought is that the Pistons should sign Darko with their Mid-Level exception, especially since Joe D's cell ran out of batteries when they should of picked up a big man. That's why David "winning college players SHOULD be able to get to the NBA" picked Arron "I'm a winner from UCLA" Afflalo.

Also, perhaps they can have Ibby Jabber (Penn Grad, Steve Danley's former running mate) live blog from the Las Vegas summer league while sharing a room with Jason "eats babies" Maxiel. Rooming with an Ivy Leaguer will be the closest Mad Max has come to college graduation since he was in high school.

David Kippe said...

66 hot dogs in 12 minutes is nasty. but 12,500 calories in 12 minutes is just down right putrid.

Matt T said...

Smoltz is going to miss the Allstar game now too, his shoulder has been bothering him and he is going to miss his next start, the ASG and possibly another start. Not good.

Brian in Oxford said...

Hopefully the USA will send a team to Russia this time. Of course, expect NBC to tape-delay all of it. What's the time difference?

I agree about the calories. They should just see how much vegetable oil they can drink in 5 minutes.

The Red Sox were 19 games over .500 BEFORE they ever got to play Tampa Bay? I'll sign up for that!

The older-sibling in me is happy for Venus! Matches 4 straight days if she keeps winning, now....

Tom said...

I can't believe that no one running highlights from the Nathan's contest is including the play-by-play call I heard at about a minute-thirty left in the competition! With Joey Chestnut maintaining a slim 3/4 of a dog lead the announcer exclaimed

"If Joey Chestnut can hang on here and beat Kobayashi, this will be the greatest moment in the history of American sports!!!"

That's my nominee for Fake Sport Call of the Year.


David Kippe said...

I was at the Cheesecake Factory, and the TV in the bar was of the Hot Dog eating contest. All the busboys were sitting around taking bets. Not the best thing to show at your restaurant. 'Yeah,we gross out our patrons before they eat.'

ToddTheJackass said...

MLB Studs and Duds from yesterday:

1. Jarrod Washburn - W, 8.0IP, 5H, BB, 5Ks
2. Chris Young - 7.0IP, 0ER, 5H, 9Ks
3. Garrett Atkins - 4/5, HR, 5RBI
4. Matt Chico - W, 7.0IP, 0ER, 4H, 4Ks
5. Cole Hamels - W, 7.0IP, ER, 8H, 8Ks

1. Guillermo Mota - 0.2IP, 6ER, 6H, 2HRs
2. Edwin Jackson - L, 5.0IP, 7ER, 9H, BB
3. Jose Contreras - L, 5.0IP, 6ER, 8H, 2BBs
4. Rich Hill - L, 6.0IP, 6ER, 10H, BB
5. Miguel Olivo - 0/3, K, Walk-Off Error

JessGGodfrey said...

I compared the eating contest to the 98 Home Run Race, since both competitors smashed the record.

Qwagmire said...

Upstart - Champion

Cassius Clay - Sonny Liston

Jeff said...


You asked for some analogies this morning.....this is the best I could come up with. I posted last night.

Unknown said...

I find it amazing how this hot dog eating contest has grown in popularity. I have to admit, I watched it with my two sons last year. This year I was busy but did catch the highlights. We all agree that it is gross but isn't that part of the attraction. I can't wait for the first Kobayashi - Chestnut commercial.

BTW, the calories are meaningless since they throw it up afterwards.

Halfway point in the baseball season. Yanks AL East streak and consecutive playoff appearance streak seems to be over. Red Sox and Angels look to be the best. The Mets would be fading if anyone in the NL East could win a game.

At least the Tour de France starts this weekend.

Gary said...

I for one am glad the announcers don't take themselves or the "sport" seriously in the hot dog eating contest. They spoke in extreme hyperbole for the entire hour, and it was fun. It was pure entertainment, plain and simple.

Everything was done with one thing in mind, to have fun. They kept using really horrible (yet funny) puns for the on screen graphics, the announcers were being purposefully over the top.

It was almost like the movies "Best in Show" or "Dodgeball" with its absurdity in announcing.

These announcers definatley did a great job, and were able to keep me entertained for an hour, when only 12 minutes of that hour was actual hot dog eating.

marcomarco said...

Can those 'athletes' possibly digest 60 hotdogs (and buns)?

I have a vision of all competitors worshipping the porcelan gods for the rest of the day. (purge)

If digested, how long are they on the crapper the next day? "Bring the bible, i got a big one brewing"

ToddTheJackass said...

They have to not throw up for at least an hour, right?

Anyway, I witnessed Kobayashi at a food festival last year where he downed 41 lobster rolls in 10 minutes.

While I wouldn't call it a sport, it's truly amazing to witness. I'd definitely agree with others that compare it more to a freak show than an athletic competition, but at least guys like Kobayashi and Joey Chestnut appear to be in decent athletic shape. It's not the 400 pound lard asses anymore.

David Kippe said...

Cycle Dan,

Kobayashi does not throw it up afterward (yesterdays "reversal" doesn't count). Discovery did a story on him awhile back and he actually just sweats it out and stinks like hot dog for a few days.

Unknown said...

Kobayashi's method-

Apparently he eats a ton for like 5 days and then nothing but water for 2 days. That explains how he digests it. As to what he does with the calories, almost right after the contest he gets on a treadmill for 18 straight hours. I'm not sure what you call that other than COMMITMENT.

The average American eats 65 hot dogs per year. Joey Chestnut ate 66 hot dogs in 12 minutes.

pv845 said...

Does anyone here actually eat 65 hotdogs a year? I eat about 5-10.

JessGGodfrey said...

I'd guess around 50-60 hot dogs a year for me. I go to a fair amount of minor league baseball games, and usually have a few when we tailgate during football season too.

Unknown said...

The way you described it, the best comparison to Chestnut's hot dog victory would be the movie Bloodsport, with new star North American Jean Claude Van Damme beating out the legendary Asian stalwart in a nailbiter.

ToddTheJackass said...

Yeah, considering there are a decent number of vegetarians out there, that would have to mean a lot of people would eat far more than 65 hot dogs/year. I'm probably in the 15-20 range myself.

I always wonder about those kinds of stats... then again, in terms of gluttonous Americans, I suppose anything is possible. Gotta love a country where we celebrate our independence by blowing shit up and binge eating!

Gary said...

Let's not forget how cheap hot dogs are. People who are scraping to get by can feed a family with a couple of hot dogs and buns for like $0.60 per person. That's probably how the number get so high, poor people and baseball fans.

I fall into both categories and probably just about reach the average. That's less than 5 a month, and I eat 4 at a time when I have them for a meal, so if I have hot dogs once a month...I'm at the 65.

Unknown said...

I would say that the stat makes sense because almost nobody has 1 hot dog at a time. If you say it's about 2.5 hot dogs each time you have them, it becomes a much more understandable statistic. 65 divided by 2.5 is 26 and there are 52 weeks in a year. So that means you would be having hot dogs once every two weeks. I could easily see that being the case.

Melbye said...

I get the comparison to Dodgeball but atleast that competition was on ESPN 8 "The Ocho"...not ESPN "The Original".

Seriously, did anyone else realize he was re-eating his reversal of fortune?

marcomarco said...

Does the body produce enough gastric acid to break that down?

How long would it take to poop out 15 pounds of hotdog meat?

How many flushes would that take?

Why am I so curious about this?

I've consumed more buffalo wings than I care to think about, and always regret it the following day. I can't imagine eating 15 pounds of them.

chitown italian said...

Let's all hope and pray that Mr. Bonds joins the HR derby next week.

Why? So that he wears his old ass out and doesn't break the HR record falling just a few short.

Hah ha!

Unknown said...


Actually the records for chicken wings are...

Chicken Wings, 12 minutes
7.5 lbs Buffalo Chicken Wings
12 minutes/ May 21, 2007
Joey Chestnut

Chicken Wings, Long form
182 chicken wings
30 minutes
Joey Chestnut

Chicken Wings, Short form
2 pounds, 2.5 ounces Hooter's Chicken Wings
5 minutes
Cookie Jarvis

pv845 said...

So I wonder if anyone thinks when they are a kid, "When I grow up, I want to be a competitive eater." Would not surprise me in the least.

hskr dave said...

Funny talking about Binds in the Derby. There was something on ESPN this morning about the derby, and they used footage of Bonds when his hat size was about 5 1/2.

Semi Stud to Wickman for not blowing another Braves Lead.

ToddTheJackass said...

Apparently A-Rod says he's not ruling out going on the DL, and is getting an MRI. Now I've been really reluctant to say the Yankees are done, but if A-Rod were to miss any extended period of time (anything longer than 15 days), I think the Yankees would have a hell of a time even catching the Wild Card, right?

Unknown said...

Since I have been watching my cholesterol, I probably have about 5 hot dogs a year if that. Most of that is finishing a hot dog my kids didn't finish. When I first graduated from college, I would have hot dogs for dinner about once per week and have 2-3 dogs so that put me over the average. Also the rugby team in Syracuse used to meet for road games at Heid's hot dog stand and guys would eat them for breakfast.

Unknown said...

Keep in mind how many people from NYC eat also.

As for A-Rod, if he goes down so do the Yamks. Besides it being a great day for the Red Sox if A-Rod is hurt for the All-Star game it also is good news for them because Mike Lowell was voted on as the backup 3rd baseman and would therefore start, and A-Rod's spot on the roster would most likely be filled by Kevin Youkilis because apparently the MVP candidate at the plate/Gold Glover in the field combination wasn't good enough the first time.

pv845 said...

Grant Hill signs with the Suns.

Anyone else think that is a huge mistake? For a guy that is older and has lots of ankle injuries, I would think that going to the Suns would not be the best choice.

Anonymous said...

So, if A-rod goes on the DL, who does Leyland replace him with on the All Star Team?

My guess would be Curtis Granderson.

ToddTheJackass said...

Wouldn't be Granderson (even though he's having a hell of a season). After A-Rod, Lowell is the only 3B in the AL on the roster, so they'd need someone to play there.

With Glaus hurt, it'd probably be either Casey Blake or Brandon Inge (maybe Iwamura), unless they'd have Youk play 3rd.

Nelvis said...

pv845, I love the signing of Grant Hill by the Suns. I see it as a signing for the playoffs. In last year's playoffs, Grant was the best player on the court for the Magic. I know he's injury prone and older, but Grant still has alot left in his bag.

Brian in Oxford said...

Granderson is definitely deserving, but then so is Youkilis.

What makes it bizarre would be having 2 first basemen AND/OR 2 third basemen from the same team on the all-star team. Kinda like if A-Rod played shortstop in the 7th inning after Jeter goes out.

Kevin said...

Yeah, I'd say take Youkilis or Orlando Cabrera to replace A-Rod, and put them at third...there just aren't any other AL third basemen who are even remotely deserving.

ToddTheJackass said...

Good call on O-Cab, he's having a hell of a season, isn't he? Problem for him is that there's already Jeter, Michael Young, and Carlos Guillen on the roster at SS. None of those guys strike me as types ably suited to move over the 3B...

ToddTheJackass said...

On a slow day, I consider this rumor to be fun news.

The Red Sox have rumoredly signed a 16 year-old outfielder from the Dominican Republic named Jose Jose.

The appropriate question here is not how good this kid could be, but who the hell names their kid Jose Jose?

marcomarco said...

Another appropriate question:

How accurate is his birth certificate?