Friday, March 30, 2007

Friday 03/30 A.M. Quickie:
Breaking Down the Final Four

Final Four Weekend: Say what you want about the lack of a Cinderella factor in the Final Four (and I have), but these are some tremendous games and tremendous teams.

How weird is it that both are rematches from last year's Tournament? This Florida team is as close to last year's team of the foursome. Then UCLA (which swaps PG Farmar for then-backup Collison – they're actually better for it). Then Georgetown. Then Ohio State, which – of course – picked up two unknowns named Oden and Conley.

I'm sticking with my original bracket picks: Florida over UCLA (my original pick, both teams) and Georgetown over Ohio State (though I had Texas A&M losing, rather than OSU).

Be sure to leave your predictions for Saturday's semifinals in the Comments section (if you enjoy that sort of thing), perhaps with a pithy bit of analysis as to why.

Florida over UCLA: Yes, "revenge factor" scares me, but even if this UCLA team is slightly better than last year's team (a dubious claim, given that in the title game, now-NBA PG Jordan Farmar was the only player who did any damage offensively), this Gators team is better than last year's team, too. And if the Bruins had so many match-up problems then that they lost by 20, how have those mismatches improved? (And have they improved by 20 points' worth?)

The X-Factor: I am intrigued by Florida's recent experience in the Georgia Dome for their three-game blitz through the SEC Tournament as a quasi-"home" advantage.

Georgetown over Ohio State: Oden might eat up Hibbert in their much-anticipated one-on-one showdown, but – as in the Florida-UCLA rematch – look to last year's Tournament game for a clue as to how this will turn out. JTIII's offensive and defensive philosophies obviously give Thad Matta fits. Maybe Matta learned from last year's second-round loss to the Hoyas. (But maybe Georgetown has gotten better, too.) And maybe Oden – and, more likely, Conley – is a huge upgrade from last year's OSU team. (But Georgetown's players have gotten better, too.)

The X-Factor: The reason I picked Georgetown to make the national title game back in early November was because of the way they heart-breakingly lost in the final seconds to Florida a year ago in the Sweet 16. No team had a bigger chip on their shoulder this season, and that sense of mission -- of entitlement – has been driving them all season. That jaw-droppingly dominant OT versus UNC? That wasn't luck; that was heart – the same heart that will beat back the Buckeyes tomorrow. Ohio State's top two players – Oden and Conley – haven't had their heart ripped out in the NCAA Tournament like these Hoyas players have. I'm not saying that they are satisfied "merely" with a Final Four, but there's no way they can want it as bad as Georgetown.

More hot topics on the sports radar today:

NCAA Tournament expansion: While they will never expand it to include all teams – as I've been advocating for a decade – but I think that expanding it to 68 teams, with four play-in games, will pass.

It's a great idea. It adds three teams to the 11/12/13 at-large pool, while ending the current play-in situation where a single team gets bounced before Thursday. Now four will!

Women's Final Four: You cannot possess any sense of irony and not be rooting for LSU.

MLB: Ria Cortesio handles her ump duties just fine, thank you very much. It's back to the minors for her, but – hey – Mark Prior is there, too.

(I know, I know: I didn't do an MLB preview this week. But we'll blow it out all next week.)

Michael Phelps does it again: Ridiculous. This makes Kobe's 50-plus point scoring binge look shallow and meaningless.

NBA: If the Grizzlies' late-season surge (two wins in a row!) costs them Greg Oden and/or Kevin Durant, they should fire everyone.

NBA Tonight: Who had tonight's Raptors-Wizards game as the East's most intriguing game of the season?

NIT: Congrats to West Virginia, who eased the disappointment of not making the NCAA Tournament with an NIT title. Was this win the team giving their coach a going-away gift? Hmm...

College Hoops Coaching Carousel: So who will be the next Michigan coach, West Virginia's John Beilein or Vanderbilt's Kevin Stallings. Vandy went further in this year's Tournament than WVU, but Beiliein's system offers the chance for much more success.

Marbury's new shoes come out Sunday: How amazing is it that the release of the next edition of a $14.98 pair of shoes will have people lined up around the block on Sunday morning? This remains one of the most intriguing sports consumer-product concepts of the last 20 years.

I think yesterday's Comments discussion about the different levels of expectations among fans of winning vs. losing teams was one of the best we've ever had here. I highly recommend you check it out.

Speaking of sports movies, it's always good to note new ones coming out. Will Ferrell's new one (does he do ANYTHING except sports movies anymore?) about the pairs ice skating is going to make a mint. He's currently working on a movie about the ABA, but maybe he'll have some interest in mine. (Though, to debunk several of the theories on yesterday's comments about the post, it isn't a Dodgeball-style comedy. There is some humor in it -- as with any good sports movie -- but having to choose between silly and not silly, I went with not silly. Of course, that could change as the demands of commercialism are satisfied.)

Fun day yesterday: Between the Ben Maller/Boston Herald mention for the Peyton Manning SNL thing and the Deadspin mention of my small business deal, it was a true "Everything's Coming Up Milhouse" type of day. Whee!

-- D.S.


Luke Bell said...

It is Millhouse - Two L's and an E.

Yeah, I nit-pick.

Anonymous said...

I got ucla (because I cannot stand to pick florida and the screaming bastard.) I have george town because I think that hibbert can neutralize oden and because ohio state doesn;t have an answer for green.

TJ said...

I have Florida and Georgetown.

Of course I have Florida. But I'm scared. The thing that scares me the most is Ben Howland with a week to prepare. I just keep thinking about what he did to a (I thought) more talented LSU team last year in the final four. That said, I think Billy will also have the Gators ready.

My expectation is that these two games tomorrow are both epoic slugfests, followed by an absolute battle on Monday--whoever makes it.

I'm not certain how much Hibbert and Oden will actually match up, but with a season's experience against the 7-footers in the Big East, I think Hibbert will raise his game and outplay Oden. The key player, though, is probably Green. Georgetown should outgrind OSU, but it will be close.

Luke Bell said...

Meh, I too got it wrong. I guess it only has one L.

He should have spelled "Thrillhouse" with one L too then. :)

Dan Shanoff said...

Glad you caught it, Luke. And glad you caught your own mistake. I was five seconds from throwing it back in your face. It's been corrected. And NOW everything's coming up Luke Bell.

Luke Bell said...

So this is what it feels like...when doves cry.

Chaddogg said...

I doubt OSU will have problems with Georgetown's offense....after all, they faced the wicked Princeton offense of my alma mater, Northwestern, twice this season and won easily...

(Yes, that's sarcasm. Dan, I hate you for abandoning Northwestern. Although, in all seriousness, can anyone else even NAME a Division I mens basketball team that has NEVER made the NCAA Tournament, like Northwestern? How awful are we if we can't even be one of the top 65 teams in the country?)

RevScottDeMangeMD said...

What does Homer say that one time he comes over? "Baaaaaaaart! Your friend Milton is here!"

Top 5 Simpsons Episodes
1.) Homer at the Bat (softball team)
2.) The Flaming Moe
3.) Mr. Plow
4.) Marge becomes a cop
5.) The 12 tales of Springfield...I forget the exact title. But it's a good Pulp Fiction spoof.

Luke Bell said...

You are thinking of 21 short films about Springfield. And there are too many good ones for me to pick a favorite, but I know that the one where Homer starts his own religion (and makes his patented space age out of this world moon waffles--waffle batter, caramel, liquid smoke) is in my top few.

Oh, and I am rooting for UCLA and Georgetown, but sadly, I think Florida and OSU will win. :(

CMFost said...

Here is my pick for this weekend.

I like Georgetown over OSU, I think Hibbard being bigger, stronger and more experience then Oden is going to cause OSU fits and Georgetown wins by 8-12 points.

I like UCLA over Florida, I think the revenge factor plays a little bit here but you also have the over confidence factor going on also. UCLA is a better team this year and they showed it with that dominating win over Kansa. UCLA wins in a close 3-5 point game

kway34 said...

I don't think you can use last year's OSU-G'town game as any sort of predictor for this year. This year's Buckeye's are a completely different team than last year's version.

I got Florida and OSU...because that's what I called when the tourny started and I want my money...

CMFost said...

Looks like Dan is going to have a Ralphie type day instead of a Millhouse day today.

I am so smart
I am so smart

CMFost said...

I really do not think there is a way to come up with the 5 or 10 best simpson episodes. there are just too many of them.

Natsfan74 said...

In my bracket, I have OSU beating Florida. I have wanted to see that all season, but even more so after the thrashing we took in December. My wife has OSU beating UCLA in her bracket.

If my picks work out, I get 2nd place and $50. If my wife's work out, she wins the pool and gets $700. Either way, it would take my favorite team winning a national championship in something this year for us to be in the money. So -- the question is, should I root for UCLA for all the money, or root for Florida for revenge (not football revenge, revenge against my wife's smack talking throughout the tournament as she's been ahead of me?).

Realistically, I think Florida will beat UCLA because their front court is just too talented and Final Four games are slugfests that are usually won inside (UNLV not included). I think Ohio State will beat Georgetown. Ohio State will have match-up problems with Green, but the Buckeyes have better guards and Oden will win the inside battle. Let's just hope Othello Hunter shows up for Saturday night.

Patriots64 said...

AT least you didn't spell it this way!!

Richard Milhous Nixon (January 9, 1913–April 22, 1994) was the 37th President of the United States, serving from 1969 to 1974. He was the 36th Vice President of the United States in the administration of Dwight D. Eisenhower (1953–1961). Nixon is the only person elected twice to the offices of vice president and president, and the only president to have resigned from the office.

thistlewarrior said...

Men's: I've got Georgetown over Florida in the final, which if I get right will completely demolish my husband's bracket and might win me some $$$. But as most of my friends are OSU fans, I guess I'd feel OK if they won it all.

Women's:I have a huge sense of irony, but I'm still rooting for Tennessee. They've been my team since I first picked up a basketball.

RevScottDeMangeMD said...

Very good point cmfost...but it's fun to try! South Park is just as tough to name!

verbal97 said...

I thought the "M" in Richard M. Nixon stood for Moe.

Also, better than picking best Simpsons episodes is picking best Simpsons lines.

Homer: I'm here to pick up my mail.
Post office: Name?
Homer: Mr. Burns.
PO: First name?
Homer: I don't know.

UCLA over Florida because I don't like people who make the "adult decision" to be a Fla fan.

OSU over Georgetown because I foolishly picked OSU to the final lose to Kansas. Man I'm a retard.

D. Ling said...

More Phelps...

- 4th going into the 100 fly finals, in definite striking distance of Ian Crocker.
- Another gold in the 4x200 freestyle relay. Only 1:45.3, slacker.
- IF, you take his lead-off relay split from the 4x100 free relay on the 1st day of the meet, he would have won the 100 freestyle yesterday.

Kobe who?

CMFost said...

Favorite Simpson line comes courtesy of Ralph Wigum after winning the science fair.

I Beat the Smart Kids
I Beat the Smart Kids
(then he falls and has the classic line)

I think I bent my wookie.

Anonymous said...

i think the bart agains the bullies one is great. but homer at the bat is the greatest simpsons episode ever. they are all really good.

NA said...

Funniest. episode. ever.

Homer: Wait a minute wait a minute wait a minute. Lisa honey, are you saying you're *never* going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad! Those all come from the same animal!
Homer: [Chuckles] Yeah, right Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal

CMFost said...

One of my favorite Homer lines came from a St.Patrick Day episode.

"Here's to Beer the cause of and solution to all of life's problems"

MoL said...

d. ling,

Looks like we're the only swimming fans here. I'll get in the requisite complaining about how it sucks that the only swimming they show on TV here is the 3-day NCAA meet packed into 1.5 hours (including commercials). For all the poker they show, it would be nice if the WWL would show real sports like the swimming World Champs. Does Phelps take down Crocker in the fly? It should be a good race. How about Locthe taking down Piersol? and the WR to boot!

Matt T said...

Since I missed yesterday Congrats on the screenplay.

In my bracket I had Kansas over Florida and Georgetown over A&M. That's shot.

I think we will see 2 close games with UCLA and Georgetown winning and Gtown taking the title.

Anonymous said...

homer has a billion good lines and i think thta to me i can;t choose one above any of the others.

RevScottDeMangeMD said...

Employee: "Four pounds of grease, that comes to sixty-three cents."

Homer: "Woo-hoo!"

Bart: "Dad, all that bacon cost $27!"

Homer: "Yeah, but your mom paid for that!"

Bart: "But doesn't she get her money from you?"

Homer: "And I get my money from grease! What's the problem?"

verbal97 said...

Here's one for you Red Sox fans...

Bart: Here Homer I got you this book "Chicken Soup for the Loser".

Homer: Hmmm is it any good?

Bart: I don't know but it inspired Bill Buckner to open a chain of Laundromats.

Big Blog of Basketball Lists said...

Chad Forde makes an astute point on this morning, comparing this UCLA team to the '91 Duke team who upset UNLV in the national semifinals a year after getting de-pantsed by the Rebs in the title game.

Then again, Chad Forde is an evil little leprechaun.

And then again, something about Florida vs. Georgetown seems too easy, so I'm predicting UCLA vs. Ohio State.

As for The Simpsons, I've always been partial to the scene where Homer fakes his own death.

"Those friendly beavers will save him"
"Oh no, they're biting him, and taking his pants!"

And then, the coup d'etat, the headline in the paper the next day reads "Local Man Loses Pants, Life" with the subheadline: "Beaver Rescue Attempt Fails" and pictures of each individual beaver.

I'm assuming Mr. Shanoff, as a fellow former journalism student, also appreciated that one.

I also agree with the above sentiment that any time Homer converses with his own brain, hilarity always ensues.

Anonymous said...

my favorite homer and brain moment is.

Homer "how do i get the boy to do it"
brain "use reverse phsycology."
Homer. "no.
brain "fine don;t use reverse phsycology."
homer "ill show you illuse reverse phsycology. I am so smart."

Luke Bell said...

There is always this sports-related quote:

Mr. Burns, while Homer ponders his golf shot: "Oh quit cogitating, Steinmetz, and use an open-faced club! The sand wedge!

Homer: Mmmmm, open-faced club sandwich.

Natsfan74 said...

Since someone beat me to the "magical animal" (stupid work, getting in the way), I will defer to -- "All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer."

Or the ever classic: "I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet, tasty beer."

Anonymous said...

homers imaginary land of chocolate.

Big Blog of Basketball Lists said...

Also, let's not forget with Kansas' Mario "Supernintendo" Chalmers and Duke's David "Troy" McClure eliminated, Matt "Sideshow Bob" Terwilliger and Roy "Dr. Julius" Hibbert are our only hopes of a Simpsons reference title.

Anonymous said...

uhm so there is no nahasapeetapetalon left.

kirby077 said...

Completely off-topic, but I know there are some Hockey fans here. The NHL on NBC beat the NBA on ABC last weekend in the ratings.


Anonymous said...

yah but remember what wilbon said...the nielsons hate sports and since hockey is not a sport wanted it to beat baskebtall.

Patriots64 said...

NHL ratings North America wide beat the NBA easily.

Brian in Oxford said...

The best Simpsons are the Treehouses of Horror, which unfortunately run the week after Halloween since Fox got the World Series.

It's fun to watch Georgetown, because they're a great combination of great players in a great system. It's always fun to watch All-America players gets pantsed on a back-door cut. But to have the same people be able to dribble-drive and create their own shots, too....that's a good combo.

GTown is 4-0 in national semis. (43, 82, 84, 85) But I've been saying all along, I don't trust them. I fear something controversial, and OSU winning late.

UCLA makes teams look bad. Especially if you give Howland time to prep for them. Florida will probably survive, but 58-46 doesn't seem improbable.

Somewhere amidst the LSU irony, I keep thinking of Bo Schembechler's "A Michigan man will coach Michigan" line. Kinda insensitive toward lesbianic activity, but funny nonetheless.

Unknown said...

According to
The top 10 episodes of the simpsons as voted on by the fans:
1. You Only Move Twice
2. Who Shot Mr. Burns?
3. Treehouse Of Horror V
4. Homer's Enemy
5. Cape Feare
6. Marge vs. The Monorail
7. The Springfield Files
8. Treehouse Of Horror VI
9. Lemon Of Troy
10. Bart's Comet

Natsfan74 said...

Durant won AP Player of the Year! That's huge.

CMFost said...

Huge but not unexpected.

CMFost said...

Anyone else excited about this weekend. I only wish I had monday off.

Final Four and the opening of the baseball season. It is going to be a great 3 days in sports.

Dan Shanoff said...

I have to tell you all that the Simpsons stuff on here is truly awesome. I say: Keep it up. Who needs sports talk when you can talk about your favorite Simpsons characters/episodes/moments/quotes. I'm obviously partial to anything featuring Comic Book Guy.

"Are you the creator of Hi and Lois? Because you are making me laugh."

I will now try to go find my rare and valuable copy of the Mary Worth comic where Mary advises a friend to commit suicide.

Dan Shanoff said...

Oh, and while I'm happy that my friend Chad Ford would like to compare this 2007 Florida team to that 1991 UNLV team -- which, arguably, was better than the 1990 team. (Haven't read Chad's column, but I like that part of it.)

It's a nice little argument to play up '07 UCLA in an analogous role to the '91 Dukies.

Here's the big difference, and this is quite huge:

Many people believe that '91 UNLV team tanked the game. Duke's win has always been tainted by that.

Presuming that this '07 Gators team isn't on the take and tanking like that '91 UNLV team, there is little reason to believe they will lose, as that '91 UNLV team lost. Sorry: "Lost."

Dan Shanoff said...

By the way, I'm not breaking any news with that "91 UNLV team was tanking" theory. That's been thrown around since... well... April 1991. And of all the wild conspiracy theories out there, I find very few people who reject it outright. At the very least, they're willing to entertain it. For a conspiracy theory -- probably the best in the history of college basketball -- that's saying something.

Ftrain said...

Dan the fact you had to go back and defend your own post before anyone posted anything proves to me you are being absurd. Seriously get some help. Stay away from Happy Ending

Anyway I like this bit:

Australian: "You call that a knife? This is a knife!"

Bart: "That's not a knife, that's a spoon."

Australian: "Alright, alright, you win. I see you've played knifey-spoony before."

Anonymous said...

that list of the top simpsons quotes of all time has some flaws. such as the absence of homer at the bat. I also happen to like bart gets an elephant.

RevScottDeMangeMD said...

drdoom...i ranked that as my #1 episode.

ozzie and the straaaaaaaaaaaaw!

Anonymous said...

one of my favorites is:

bart. "dad you taught me that I should always give an effort."
homer. "when did I teach you this?"
bart. "well i picked it up somewhere."

Luke Bell said...

Mr. Burns is my favorite character.

Burns: Nonsense Smithers. Dogs are idiots! Think about it-if I came up to you and started sniffing at your crotch and slobbering all over your face, what would you say?

Smithers: Ummm, if you did it sir?

RevScottDeMangeMD said...

Everyone's favorite non-main character?

Mine would be Troy McClure or Apu (is he main?)

kway34 said...

Disparaging the boot is a bootable offense.

Anonymous said...

apu is a main

and you may remember troy mclure from such memorable films such as

fluoride its magical
nose picking never pretty

futurelegendvinceyoung said...

Pat Forde wrote the article comparing the '07 Bruins to the '91 Blue Devils. Dan do you think any title that Duke has won is legit?

Favorite Simpsons quote is from Homer of course it is from the episode that Lisa gets lost going to the museum to look at Egyptian artifacts:

Homer: Feel like doing something stupid? I know I do!!

CMFost said...

Greatest Comment Section Ever!!!

Matt T said...

I have never heard that theory that UNLV tanked before. Any link you can point me to with that info?

Ftrain said...

Might as well keep this going:

Never, Marge. Never. I can't live the button-down life like you. I want it all: the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles. Sure, I might offend a few of the bluenoses with my cocky stride and musky odors -- oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called "City Fathers" who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about "What's to be done with this Homer Simpson?"

kway34 said...

Man, I love this comments section. I don't think I could name a favorite episode or quote.

Simpson Tide, Homer at the Bat, 22 Short Stories About Springfield, Cape Feare, Marge Vs. The Monorail, Lemon of Troy, and it goes on.

Homer: Here's your messages Mr. Burns; You have 30 minutes to move your car, you have 10 minutes to move your car, your car has been impounded, your car has been crushed into a cube, you have 30 minutes to move your cube.

(Phone rings)

Homer: Hello?

Mr. Burns: Is it about my cube?

futurelegendvinceyoung said...

A nice read about the Houston v. Louisville Final Four game in 1983 Hakeem's stat line is sick 21 points, 22 boards and 8 blocks.

Brian in Oxford said...

It's people!
Taurean Green is people!

Sorry, I'm surprised that line hasn't been done before.

As good as The Simpsons are, they're still no Futurama. (Soylent Cola....the taste varies from person to person.)

(Do I have to duck for that one?)

CMFost said...

''Sign an autograph or two. Support a charity for something that hasn't happened to a member of your family. Let one of us regular guys write a terrible children's book.''

Unknown said...

One of my classic favorite's is still:

Marge: Homer, I have to go out to pick up something for dinner.
Homer: Steak?
Marge: Money's too tight for steak.
Homer: Steak?
Marge: Eh, suuure... steak.

This occurs everytime someone uses the word steak. My automatic response is "Money's too tight for steak"

Ah, the classics

Unknown said...

and don't forget from that same episode...

Homer: Aw, twenty dollars! I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts!
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services!

The heroin sheik said...

I figure it is going to be the gators in a close one and hopefully they will play OSU. I think there is something cool about both schools meeting up again for a title in the same year.

Best simpsons episode had to be when they went to japan or when santas little helper had puppies. The reason for that is back in college there was a restaurant in gville called TQ that gave out free beer whenever homer would go D'oh. That episode he says d;oh like 15 times in a row when the dogs eat his chips. The owner gave everyone free drafts all night long. After the show he would put on reruns for an hour and a half and run that special.

Has anyone read "The D'oh of Homer?" It is great because it looks at the simpsons from varying philosophical stances. It appeals to intellectuals while still being accessible to people with little education but a vast knowledge of the show.

"Me fail English? That's unpossible."

Johnny b said...

a couple Ralphie quotes

I got beat up by boy Lisa and girl Lisa

Why does everybody run from me (as he says that a wet spot forms in his pants)

One time I picked my nose so much it bleeded

Favorite episodes

Blame it on Lisa
Sattlesore Galattica
Trilogy of Error
Tales from the Public Domain
the one when Lisa takes on Creationism
The one when Maude dies
When Homer marries gay people
When Homer leaves Marge and lives with gay people
the one when Homer thinks Bart is gay and tries to man him up (he takes him to a gay steel mill which makes me laugh because my parents work at a steel mill)

chitown italian said...

Keeping in line with the St. Pat's episode. During college a big group would gather at my rented house. That episode came on and this line was spoken by Kent Brockman while talking about the parade.

"...St. Patrick's day, where everyone's a little bit Irish except the Gays and the Italians."

Seeing as that I am an Italian-American I caught so much hell that night. The jokes haven't stopped either. I still get that line in an email from my friends every year on St. Pat's.

Luke Bell said...

Favorite non-main guy? I would say Lionel Hutz.

Hutz: I move for a bad court thingy.

Judge Snyder: You mean a mistrial.

Hutz: Right!! That's why you're the judge and I'm the law-talking guy.

Judge: You mean the lawyer?

Hutz: Right.

The heroin sheik said...

Who is going to the Final Four? I have the tickets and just have to get out of work.

Of all the championship events what do y'all think is the most exciting to go to? I've been to pretty much everything other than the NBA finals and I was suprised at how exciting the stanley cup game 7 was. I had the most fun in New Orleans in 97 but as far as excitement the NHL ranked up there. Second most exciting might have been France winning the WC at home in 98.

Big D said...

"Everything's Coming Up Milhouse"

Love it. See, how many sites on the Instawebs give us insightful sports commentary, witty commenters, AND Simpsons' quotes? Oh... like 500? Meh - I still prefer to come here.

By the way - for what it's worth, I've got tOSU and UCLA. No rhyme or reason, but it's the title game I picked in January, and I'm sticking with it.

Also, since I'm only cell-phone blogging this weekend? my National League Preview is going to have to wait until Tuesday. The AL Preview is up now.

/end (shameless self-promotion)

kway34 said...

I forgot to mention it earlier, but the Beer Baron is a great episode too.

Marge: HOMER! What are you doing?

Homer: Well...I'm not going to lie to you Marge. Goodbye. (walks away)

Rex Banner: What kind of pet shop is filled with rembunctious yahoos and hot jazz music at 1 am?

Moe: Uhhh...ummm...the best damn pet shop in town!

RevScottDeMangeMD said...

Lisa: I made enough gaspacho for everyone!

Homer: What's gaspacho?

Lisa: It's tomato soup...served ice cold!

Everyone: HAHAHAHAHA! (Barney in background) GO BACK TO RUSSIA!

NA said...

Lionel Hutz is the greatest side character in Simpsons history. In fact I believe Phil Hartman's death is partially what led to the slow decline of The Simpsons - so many great lost characters:

Mr. Simpson, this is the most blatant case of fraudulent advertising since my suit against the film, "The Never-Ending Story".
Hutz: Now don't you worry, Mrs. Simpson, I - uh-oh. We've drawn Judge Snyder.
Marge: Is that bad?
Hutz: Well, he's kind of had it in for me, since I accidently ran over his dog. Actually, replace `accidently' with `repeatedly', and replace `dog' with `son'.


Hutz: Mr. Simpson, I was just going through your garbage, and I couldn't help overhearing that you need a babysitter. Of course, being a highly-skilled attorney, my fee is $175 an hour.
Homer: We pay eight dollars for the night, and you can take two popsicles out of the freezer.
Hutz: Three.
Homer: Two.
Hutz: OK, two. And I get to keep this old bird cage.
Homer: Done!
Hutz: [proudly] Still got it.

thistlewarrior said...

Just saw this on Looks like Dan's wife's team may be losing their coach.

Unknown said...

If theyy give him 3 years annd 20 million like Roy Williams and Coach K, I think he would be stupid not to take it.

Jen said...

Oh, why do I have to work!!?

Some of my favorite Simpsons' moments are when Nelson throws in a "ha-HA!" when something happens to someone. My all-time favorite is when the Simpsons realize that they have been robbed and Bart opens a cabinet..

Bart: Oh no, they got my stamp collection!

(phone rings)

Bart: Hello?

Nelson (on other end): Stamp collection!!? ha-HA!

I think I laughed for 10 minutes straight.

The signs at the church and around town are so funny too...

Sign at the movie theatre:

There is an episode when Nelson's dad picks him up from football and says that they are going to see mom and Nelson says "whoo-hoo, we're going to Hooters!" or something to that effect.

@ cmfost: "Here's to Beer the cause of and solution to all of life's problems" That Homer quote had me laughing hysterically too! It's one of my favorites as well.

I could go on and on...


OSU over Georgetown
FL over UCLA (only because my bracket says so)

Anonymous said...

i like the bush and dog one.

dog chases after bush
homer: "looks like he is barking up the wrong bush."
brain. "homer that is the cleverest thing you will ever say and no one will ever hear it."
homer. "doh!"

chitown italian said...

Wigham's kid:

(1) I ate my red crayon
(2) I sleep in a drawer

futurelegendvinceyoung said...

10 minutes of Homer.


5 minutes of Homer.

Brian in Oxford said...

My cat's breath smells like cat food.

RevScottDeMangeMD said...

Completely and utterly off topic but...

LAS VEGAS — Three homeless men mistakenly arrested last year on charges of sleeping too close to a pile of feces have settled a lawsuit against the city for $45,000.

Eastman Webber, David Hicks and Jerry Halfpap each received a check for $10,000 in the settlement of their federal civil rights lawsuit, according to American Civil Liberties Union of Nevada, which sued on their behalf.

City spokesman Jace Radke confirmed the settlement Thursday.

The men were arrested in November for violating a provision of a Las Vegas ordinance no longer on the books. The city council had approved the ordinance in August, making it illegal to sleep within 500 feet of a deposit of feces or urine, but then repealed it in September.

City Attorney Brad Jerbic has said that part of the ordinance was a mistake.

The men were arrest Nov. 26 at a park across from City Hall.

Their lawsuit, seeking $2 million each, stated that only Webber was asleep at the time and that the three were handcuffed "while dozens of onlookers observed the ordeal."

"They were arrested, taken off to jail, for 'sleeping too close to poop,'" said Gary Peck, executive director of the ACLU of Nevada. "Their rights were violated — violated in a rather egregious fashion."

The arrests escalated tensions between homeless advocates and the city officials, which have been criticized for unorthodox attempts to clean up parts of town populated by the homeless. A city ordinance banning giving food to indigent people in parks was declared unconstitutional in November.

The men's attorney E. Brent Bryson said the $45,000 settlement was reasonable.

"The realities are that these individuals are not capable of maintaining and sustaining an ongoing litigation," he said. "This quick money to them represents an ability for them to get back on their feet."

Only Hicks, 44, knew what he would do with the cash.

"I'm going to get my own transitional housing," he said. "Like a typical citizen, I plan on looking through the newspaper and on foot for rentals. I have a game plan."

kway34 said...

Ok, it's been in the back of my mind all day. My all time favorite Simpsons moment is Sideshow Bob and the rakes on Cape Feare. The fact that they kept going for so long is what makes it. It goes from kind of funny, to boring, to annoying, to funniest thing ever.

TJ said...

I never watched much Simpsons (mom wouldnt let us when we were younger, then when I got older Family Guy and Futurama were funnier), but I always liked Homer's commentary with his brain--especially the bit about the $20 and the peanut.

As for Billy D, Schlabach says UK is prepared to offer him 2.8/year. He also points out that Billy has been in negotiations with Jeremy Foley (UF's AD) all year, with UF already willing to pay at least 2.5/year. So if Billy goes, it certainly won't be because of the money--the money will be the same at UF or UK. If he goes, it will be purely because of the mystique that job (used to?) holds.

Personally, I think he stays in G'ville at least for a few more years, then jumps ship to the NBA after a good 15-year-ish run at Florida.

Big Blog of Basketball Lists said...

@setherton22 / futurelegendvinceyoung:

I always get Chad Ford and Pat Forde confused. They both seem like evil little leprechauns to me. Which one ripped on Lebron his rookie year?

Another Simpsons classic:

"When I first heard Marge was joining the police academy, I thought it would be fun and zany, you know, like that movie. Spaceballs. Instead it's been dark and disturbing. Like that movie. Police Academy"

Big Blog of Basketball Lists said...

"Principal Skinner... I got car sick in your office."

-Ralph Wiggum

"So... do you, um... like... stuff?"

-Ralph Wiggum flirts with Lisa

Anonymous said...

Kevin Durant winning the ap award: this kid deserved it, he's going to be a great player on the next level.

Anonymous said...

Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday.
Homer: Woo-hoo. Four-day weekend.

SAE said...

Remember what Vince Lombardi said, "If you lose, you're out of the family."