UPDATE: Theo Epstein got married?! Last month?! How did no one hear about this? That Theo: So cagey! Mazel tov! (Extra points to anyone who can find out where they're registered.)
Super Bowl XLI Media Day Hangover: Is there anything more annoying or disingenuous than the sports reporters who gripe about the circus that has become Super Bowl Media Day?
Here's a big, fat STFU: First of all, they're covering the Super Bowl in
*The "15 minutes of fame" pop-culture reporters: This year, the two American Idol rejects (this year's William Hung) -- Kenneth Briggs and Jonathan Jayne – who are now comically connected forever.
*The inevitably hot Latino TV reporter. This year: Inez Sainz of TV Azteca. (She isn't even "hot for sports media," as so many would-be hotties are. She's legit.)
*Mo Rocca, who continues to find work despite being unfunny.
*Players interviewing themselves.
*The inevitably off-the-wall questions.
Screw it: This is what makes Media Day remotely interesting. God knows that the sports reporters won't be able to do it. And it beats hearing about "real" stories like Tank Johnson.
More SB XLI: I am so wary of any player who expresses a sense of "Just happy to be here." Anyone catch any players doing that?
Peyton Manning was the big Media Day attraction among players: Is he the league's biggest star right now? (Consider his TV-ad binge this season.) He's a little too polished, his answers to 150 questions in an hour a little too pat.
So: Who else finds it easy to root against Peyton? I think he's destined to be this generation's Dan Marino -- arguably the most talented QB of his era... but never winning that Super Bowl ring.
XLI X-factor Debate: I had coffee this morning with a big Bears fan, and he's got me thinking that Devin Hester (combined with the Colts' piss-poor special-teams, aside from Adam V) is going to be the difference in the game. Is Devin the new Desmond (Howard) – the special-teams player who wins MVP honors?
More of today's biggest storylines:
Gilbert Arenas for MVP: 36 points, 11 assists, 7 rebounds and the best-in-East Wizards beat the Pistons – and that was mostly without Antawn Jamison playing for D.C. Eddie Jordan: "We kicked their butts." Wow: That's so uncharacteristic of
Bonds clause: If he's indicted, the Giants can get out of the new contract. But if he's close to passing Aaron, would they want to?
(By the way, Barry Bonds' agent said that he has no plans to retire and could reach "1,000" home runs. That's kind of ludicrous, but if you just stop and think about that number for a second, it's wild.)
Cowboys coaching search: Yeah, yeah, they talked to Singletary. But everyone agrees it was a sham to satisfy the Rooney Rule. The good news for Singletary: He'll be a head coach by this time next year; he's better off not being in
OJ Mayo plays: He scored 19 points and his Huntington (WV) team beat national Top 15 team Artesia (CA) at Cameron Indoor Stadium.
Way bigger: Does that position No. 2 Huntington to take over the national top spot? No. 1 St. Benedict's (NJ) lost to No. 4
Carmelo-vs.-Shanoff MySpace Challenge Update: As of 9:30 this morning, I'm at 220 friends. Carmelo is at 30,737. It's a moving target, but that puts me a mere 88 friends from reaching my "1 percent" goal. Have you checked out the page yet?
(Meanwhile, here's an interesting tidbit you can only know by perusing MySpace pages: One of Carmelo's featured "friends" is Marc Spears, the Nuggets beat reporter for the Denver Post. Now, I'm no journalism ethics prude and I'm all about the new realities of new media, but that strikes me as a strange manifestation of even the most elastic version of "objectivity.")
My 9-month-old son, the Sex Cannon: Do any readers in
UPDATE: Thanks for the quick response, everyone. $40 makes me want to retch, but I might just convince myself into doing it.
Check that: What a waste of money. I could create a Photoshop image of the phrase "Future Sex Cannon" and iron it onto a onesie for free. And it would be much more fun. Who knew selling out my kid for my own enjoyment would be so easy and fulfilling?