Bethlehem Shoals and Dr. Lawyer IndianChief from FreeDarko speaking here. We'll try and make Dan proud.
Rockets Still Rolling: Not counting the state of Utah, who doesn't want the Rockets to win this one? Of course, it's all due to T-Mac, who once again followed a dicey first half with a stellar last two quarters. The Jazz smothered the Rockets in the beginning, and then felt the wrath of H-Town in the second half. Will we ever see a happy median? Or are McGrady and Yao that much better than Boozer, Okur, Deron Williams, and Kirilenko?
A-Rod Wins, Yankees Lose: Alex Rodriguez is now well on pace to break Barry Bonds’ single-season record of 73, at which point Hank Aaron will attend the record-breaking game and personally perform a rendition of Mims’ “This is Why I’m Hot”. Still, the man is undeniably cursed. His personal success appears inversely related to the success and pitching health of the Yankees.
Where a Number One Seed Still Means Something: Wasn't the East supposed to be where craziness, upsets, and near-parity could come true?
Leandro Barbosa, Sixth Man of the Year: After Sunday, the question isn't whether Barbosa could start—it's how sick he would be in that capacity. Maybe a longer, more terrifying Tony Parker, averaging about 20 and 8 on these Suns but not exactly making point guard purists comfortable. Quick, raise your hand if you remember when he was hyped as "the Brazilian Gary Payton." Now leave it up if you think that's his ceiling.
AL Central Battles: Twins blow one late even though Joe Mauer is now hitting .400. Unfortunately, Twins GM Terry Ryan’s “no steroids because it will mess up the clubhouse chemistry” policy means that there is no one in the Twins lineup to actually drive Joe Mauer home when he gets on base. In Kansas City, the Royals spoil Mark Buehrle’s attempt at consecutive no-hitters, but in the end, are still the Royals.
LeBron Not Too Injured: He'll play Wednesday. Don't be shocked, though, if they rest him for the last two games and win anyway. Just kidding, that would be classless and illegal. Wizards fans waiting on Caron Butler can give that dream up, as he's now officially out for the duration of round one.
Cubs Pitchers: On the same day that Zambrano again fails to make it past the 6th, Scott Eyre blows a lead, and the Ben and Jerry’s-inspired Rocky Cherry loses the game in the 12th inning, Mark Prior undergoes “exploratory” surgery. I am hoping it is of the Jim Abbott variety, so Cubs fans can stop getting their hopes up.
NL East Rules: Mets win. Phillies win. Marlins win (but the Braves keep it close). The Mets’ John Maine stays solid, Phils’ Jimmy Rollins does his part to back up his words.
Brandan Wright Entering Draft: So what if he's not quite ready for the NBA? The latest he'll be picked is fifth. . . and remember, this is the 2007 draft. Just being in it is guaranteed to make a player famous, in the same way that no one from 2000 or 2006 will ever get their due.
Canucks Beat Stars, Advance: There isn’t anything quite like a Game 7, is there? Dr. LIC really enjoys Vancouver, the city. The pizza there is surprisingly good, and very cheap. Also, one time he saw a million crackheads buy a bunch of crack off of this dude who looked exactly like Vanilla Ice. Then they all laughed at a prostitute.
NFL Draft: Can we declare a moratorium on "so and so would like to draft Calvin Johnson" rumors? It's far more interesting that one, maybe two, teams will have to be the ones who don't draft him.
The Holes in This Quickie: Feel free to fill them in/point them out as you see fit.