Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Halloween Mania:
Should I Use "Boos-day?"

Tuesday A.M. Quickie here.

No, I shouldn't, but as I hustled my five-month-old out the door this morning to day-care dressed in his frog costume, I am caught up in the spirit of the holiday.

(No sports costume for him, you ask? I actually bought him a complete infant-sized Florida basketball uniform – shorts, jersey, shooting shirt – but "cute" outweighed "f'ing amazing." OK, for this year...)

So I got a press release yesterday that Adam Morrison is going to be the cover-guy for EA's NCAA March Madness '07 game. (Immediate thought: Will he be pictured (a) crying or (b) giving up before the game is over?)

Hey, Morrison isn't a bad choice for a sports-themed Halloween costume:

First, you could easily find his Bobcats jersey (though then you'd be stuck with it after the holiday, and it's looking more and more like the guy's going to be a bust -- or at least not the stud his slurpers proclaimed he would be).

Next, you could find the right wig and the obligatory fake moustache. Runny mascara (to indicate weeping) is optional. (And don't even think about adding in a diabetic insulin pump or holding a syringe... out of bounds.)

Here's my question: What would be your most clever sports-themed costume idea – and how would you execute it? (And "Carl Monday" is great but ineligible: It's already claimed by Deadspin.)

-- D.S.


Anonymous said...

Is it still too soon to go with Bruno Maglis, black leather gloves, a suit, a big knife and a lot of fake blood? That's gotta be funny someday, right?

EPorvaznik said...

A loosely-themed sports (ahem) costume, but please allow me to whore myself and the time I dressed up like John Mellencamp to record a parody of the song seen a time or a thousand during the World Series...and college football...and pro football...and Lord knows where else. "This Is My Sellout" available at www.myspace.com/tyronesintervention1

There's a party in my ears and everyone's invited...

Nick Lee said...

Larry Nemmers (sp?). If you could find one of those hideous ref uniforms, you could construct your own replay booth that was rolling old cartoon clips instead of a football game.

Jake C said...

A statue. Get a Beltran jersey and a bat...then just stand there in a hitters position with a blank stare the entire night (some dedication and your muscles might get weary, but it's perfect).

Mega said...

One of my friends was John Madden. All said he all night was "Brett Favre may have 6 interceptions this game, but he is just having fun out there!"

I was Bob Schwartzki from Superfan (George Wendt's character). Da Bearssssss

Christian Thoma said...

I'm sorry, are you calling Adam Morrison a bust when he hasn't even played a game yet?

If your goal is to prove Bill Simmons right, you're getting there buddy.

Unknown said...

theres two types of costumes: funny and scary

(a little past its time but..) a boat with the vikings symbol on it
a bengals jersey that says "ocho cinco"
(for two people) a guy in a bledsoe jersey being followed by the grim reeper
(i once saw this) guy in leftwich jersey with a guy on each side holding him up so he doesn't have to walk
(see the sports guy) a gymnast and her coach including gay accent

al davis
stephen jackson (with gun)
maurice clarett with bulletproof vest many guns hatchett and vodka (eventho the story is semi-depressing)
the "u" player swinging a helmet
Isiah Thomas and greet everyone with the words "i'm your new president of basketball operations"

dawg gone round the world said...

Guy here at the office has gone as Big Ben. He got a lot of makeup to just make his face TORN up. scrapes all on his legs, shredded jeans, big ben jersey. riding around on a little pink bicicle, slamming himself into walls.


Gary said...

I am usually Albert Belle, I chase any kids who come trick-or-treating at my house in my car

Dan Shanoff said...

Chrth, since when are "instant history"-style proclamations anything BUT my m.o.?

Meanwhile, I'll give you Adam Morrison for Rookie of the Year, and I'll take the field.

Given his hype, anything less than ROY makes him a bust.

(I think the same logic applies to Reggie Bush, who is going to get beat out for ROY... by a rookie on his own team, no less.)

But I think even the small and irregular sample size of preseason games is enough to recognize that Morrison's game may not translate to the NBA -- and he certainly hasn't justified his lofty draft position.

Now, if you consider "marketing appeal" a worthwhile reason to draft someone -- and, by the way, I do -- then he presents a more valuable pick.

But I figured we were talking on-court contributions only. And, in that respect, I'm not impressed yet.

BLUE said...

Dan, I know you hate the white man and all, but why do you dog on Adam Morrison? He's a bust? The guy is averaging 11.5 pts a game in the preseason playing limited minutes. He's not shooting a spectacular %, but give the kid a break. We all know that if you found out he was Jewish, then you'd be touting him for rookie of the year.

Christian Thoma said...

But I figured we were talking on-court contributions only. And, in that respect, I'm not impressed yet.

What on-court contributions?!? The season hasn't started yet!

I know instant history is your MO, but can you at least wait until after tomorrow night's game? Or are you telling me you think Charlotte is going to do better than Cleveland this year based on preseason performance?

thistlewarrior said...

Chris Henry: Bengals jersey, toy gun in back of pants, joint behind ear, hanging out of a cardboard car door w/fake vomit down the side of it.

Christian Thoma said...

I actually went as a Cyclist today ... I have a Quickstep-Davitamon cycling outfit from a few years ago. Of course I changed out of it after the office festivities this morning, not very comfortable at the desk, let me tell you.

Fortunately, I didn't win the prize raffle otherwise I would've needed to take a drug test.

Brave Sir Robin said...

I remember week one when the Browns played the Saints. They were FREAKING out where Reggie Bush was on the field.

The fact is, Bush is better than his numbers. The defenses focus on stopping him and it allows others to suceed.

Christian Thoma said...

Sorry brave sir robin, I have to disagree. I was at the Saints-Panthers game, and Bush wasn't any good except on a couple receptions.

FreKy J said...

Go to the party wearing only a pair of tighty whities. When someone asks you what you're dressed up as, you answer:

"I'm premature ejaculation -- I came in my underwear."

FreKy J said...

As for Reggie Bush, his stats may indicate that he's a bust, but the way he draws the defense to him as a decoy tells the real story and his true value to the team.

As soon as defenses stop biting on every play fake even remotely close to him, he'll start putting up stats. Sean Payton is smart enough to ride the decoy as long as it works, and Reggie Bush is smart enough to play that decoy as long as his team needs it.

Trey (formerly TF) said...

I've never gone as anything sports related really.

We did go as 1980s Wrestlers my sophomore year of college. I was Macho Man, my friends were Hulk Hogan, The ultimate Warrior and Rowdy Roddy Piper...good stuff.


adnteh said...

Dan, why didn't you hybridize the two ideas and dress him as a Gator?

Adam Morrison may go the way of Ben Gordon. Shitty shooting percentage but high scoring. On paper, he looks like he's hurting your team, but when you watch him you are blinded by his energy level and enthusiasm. That leads you to convince yourself he's helping your team, even though nothing tangible supports that, and at the very least, everyone likes him.