News of Britney Spears' divorce from (ugh) "K-Fed" inspires this question to get us through a long evening of election returns, NBA League Pass and resuming my weekly NFL rankings (after taking last week off):
Which athlete(s) would you rank highest as most likely to be Britney's rebound relationship? Extra points for creativity, clever ideas and/or multiple names sorted in a ranking...
UPDATE (11/08 1:25 p.m.): I just read that John Daly and his wife have filed for divorce. If you can imagine a romantic pairing that is any more frightening/hilarious than Britney Spears and John Daly, I defy you to name it.
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She is from the south; has she had one of those "date a black guy to piss off the parents and get knocked up" relationships yet? If not, I vote Shawn Kemp.
LMAO at seb_pho- but I think K-Fed will be enough to "piss the parents off"...she did get knocked up by him twice.
Personally, I'd like to see what would happen if she hooked up with Kris Benson (will Anna Benson really "do" the entire Oriole squad?)
How about Adam Morrison? C'mon, you know that would be awesome.
Second choice: Matt Leinart.
I'd say Trent Green because he "Ooops!" he did it again.
How about Sammy Sosa because he's "Stronger than yesterday."
Ewww! Scary that I know some of these lyrics.
I know he's not an athlete, but how funny would a Bill Simmons Pity Fuck be? Watching his column spiral into a more ego-stroking (but ultimately whiney when she didn't return his calls and his wife left with his kid) mess would be hilarious!
Well now, let's think about someone she has a lot in common with. Teen sensation, overexposed at too young of an age, been slummin' for the past couple years...
Wait for it...
None other than Maurice Clarett. How hot would those conjugal visits be?
The timing of this news is oddly conspicuous. Now we know that the Democrats will win.
Doug Christie. Oh man that would be one awesome cat fight.
The Spear Britney Spears Power Rankings:
1. Karl Malone: From Louisiana. Kinda a jerk. Likes driving trucks. Sounds like her dream man.
2. Ricky Bobby: Because she thinks he's real. And really cool.
3. Andrei Kirilenko: She'll only see him once a year, which keeps her on pace for a baby a year.
She could get together with Christina Aguilera and have Fred Smoot give them the old double header treatment...
Manny Ramirez.
Imagine the deep intellectual conversations. They could have a reality show called 'IQ'.
Surprised nobody has mentioned Borat yet.
"I will make liquid explosion inside her!"
Nice.
so um, how about the dead Miami player?
sorry, i hate Britney talk! Sounds like she's stalking Letterman, anyways! :)
... was... was that a joke?
I just thought brian was observing that there was an actual, honest-to-goodness, interesting, sports-related story being reported in the world.
Maybe he thought it was more worthy of discussion than the new Mr. Britney Spears?
Anywayz, wow. Do we know anything about this? I have tried pretty hard to ignore Miami this year - was this guy significant in terms of playing time? In terms of action in that brawl? In terms of upside?
Any culprits? Does the city of Miami just suck this much (I mean, I'm from Detroit, I don't mean to talk trash)? Was anybody from FIU around? (I... don't know if I'm serious about wondering that, or not.) What's the deal?
he was a starter and he would have been a 1st or 2nd round pick in this years draft
no details are available but it has been ruled a homicide
I gotta give K-Fed some credit. Even though the guy is an absolute loser, he was nailin Britney when she was hot as hell and now that she spit out a few kids and looks like shit he gets away from it all. Probably even getting a nice sum of money to do so. K-Fed for president. He gives hope to every man in the world.
I think once Britney gets back in shape and looks good again we'll see Kobe right next to her (after his impending divorce of course)
i think it's funny that in DC where i live the name Heath Shuler makes everyone start laughing and then say "Wow. That guy sucked. I can't believe he used to play for us. He makes me think bad of myself."
and now he's moving here....
A guy who wore a "Pimp Daddy" jacket to their wedding is getting divorced? What...a...surprise...
I think the perfect rebound man is Kenny Chesney. He's short, he can afford bodyguards to keep K-Fed away, he's got a ton of fans who will leave her alone, and she has no chance of getting knocked up. It's perfect. Then if Tom Cruise divorces, we can have some real fun.
Yeah, K-Fed is big time white trash but he made out like a bandit. Living the high life with Britney for 2 years (the hot Britney for about 1), obviously sleeping around on his Vegas trips while using her ATM card, and he's getting 10 mill to walk away.
As for her sports rebound, I'm thinking Martina Navratalova.
I wasn't cracking the joke on Pata being killed.....was serious that I hate britney talk, especially in a sports forum. it went....why is a britney story here instead of a player being shot. then upon realizing we're stuck with a britney store here, i might as well play THAT up for whatever it could be.
The best part about this: the rumours that the breaking point in the relationship came when Britney laughed at tapes of Federline's recent appearances in WWE and Federline flipped shit and started destroying their property.
Hey, Tom Cruise isn't married yet! I want to see Skanky Spears break up that engagement and see poor little Katie cry!
I can't believe no one even mentioned the black man who loves to date crazy white women...Dennis Rodman. He could talk her into a three-way with his new co-star Mini Me and then sell the tape for a gazillion bucks.
Page2 now has a survey that directly rips off answers provided here.
Funny.
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