"Night Before Xmas":Welcome, Deadspin Readers

If you're arriving here after seeing my "Night Before Christmas" tribute/parody poem on Deadspin, welcome (or welcome back, if you haven't visited lately). In addition to the poem, the major topic on the table today is Festivus-inspired grievances. Check back through the weekend for NFL and all next week for the daily usual. Take the week off? As they might say at Deadspin: "Hell 2 da naw." Happy holidays! -- D.S.