Friday, July 27, 2007

Friday 07/27 A.M. Quickie:
Simpsons Mania! Plus: Bonds, A-Rod, CFB, More!

In honor of the Simpsons Movie coming out this weekend, here is the declaration I'm looking for from all of you:

(1) Favorite Simpsons character (no matter how minor)
(2) Favorite Simpsons episode (or scene or song)
(3) Favorite Simpsons quote

I'll start:

Character: Comic Book Guy (Well: OBVIOUSLY)
(Runner up: Lindsay Nagle)

Episode: Cape Feare (Favorite scene/song: Monorail song, "We Put the Spring in Springfield" and the Stonecutters song. I can't decide!)

Quote: "Oh, a *sarcasm* detector. Oh, that's a *really* useful invention." (CBG)

Seriously, I went through this page and laughed out loud probably 90 times out of 100.

Let me just say: It is SO hard to pick just one of each. That's why having everyone collectively contribute will be so awesome. There is no right or wrong: Just laughing.

Oh, there's sports to talk about? Here we go...

Vick Update: Pleads "not guilty." Who else found his (lawyer's) statement to be less than empathetic... or convincing? (What was very convincing: The battling camps between those who came to protest Vick and those who came to support him.)

UPDATE: Darren Rovell says Nike should drop Vick. That's huge. Here is arguably the biggest and most influential voice in sports-business media saying keeping Vick is bad for Nike's business. (He's right, by the way. I think it's "when" not "if" with Nike cutting Vick after this.)

Donaghy Update: Blissfully uneventful. Could this mean that the story will recede as everyone turns their full attention to Vick and Bonds? (Meanwhile, it looks like the bookies are going to be charged. Apparently, Donaghy and the bookie went to the same high school.)

Today's Must-Read: Economist Justin Wolfers had a great NYT op-ed piece today on how to solve the NBA's gambling issue -- legalize win/loss bets and get rid of all side bets like point-spreads and over-unders. True Hoop has a great post, including an exclusive quote from Wolfers. Henry has legit worries about an increase in gambleholism, but that's where it's all going anyway. Why not save sports while you're at it? Legalization: It's Faaan-tastic!

Bonds Update: The biggest news is that a judge will rule today whether MLB giving the names of players implicated in the league's steroid scandal to the Mitchell Commission means that EVERYONE should get to see them. And I suspect the judge will rule just that way. MLB should have seen this coming when they appointed Mitchell and gave him the goodies.

Meanwhile, I love the Bonds-Costas "midget" feud. Can we all agree that while Costas might be widely considered the "conscience" of baseball, his TV show segment on Bonds was intentionally designed to be sensationalistic.

Here was Costas' witty repartee, which I'm quite sure took him all day to construct in order to maximize its pithiness: "As anyone can plainly see, I'm 5-6 1/2 and a strapping 150, and unlike some people, I came by all of it naturally." (Oh, if you INSIST on me typing it: Zing!)

MLB Hall of Fame: Ripken and Gwynn represent one of the great Hall classes of all time. No disputes to their worthiness. Both extremely good, popular guys.

I would rank Ripken as one of my two favorite players of all-time. His breakout season in 1983 dovetailed with my first real memories of baseball, and his long career tracked with my path of fanhood. Being able to go to a lot of Orioles games and see Ripken play was one of my great memories of my youth.

(I would, however, like for someone today or this weekend to bring up the legendary story about "The Night The Lights Went Out at Camden." According to the (incredibly dubious yet highly believable) urban legend, Ripken caught his wife with Kevin Costner, got in a fight and it got to the point that he couldn't play that night. Well, god forbid the Streak would end, so the lights of Camden Yards mysteriously malfunctioned, and the game had to be postponed. Ripken's streak lived on. Again: This is myth, but one of the great urban legends in baseball history. It wouldn't be a Ripken Hall of Fame induction weekend without it being re-told and celebrated.)

MLB Stud: Manny.

MLB Dud: Utley.

MLB Signing: Comeback Player of the Year Dmitri Young will apparently sign a two-year deal to stay with the Nats. Nice story for a team that could always use an extra one.

MLB Intrigue: Here's a weird one. If A-Rod hits a home run today against Baltimore in the resumption of their June 28 game, his home run would be credited to that June 28 game, making his HR No. 499 from two nights ago "officially" his HR No. 500.

Pat Tillman Update: The Pat Tillman story makes me so heart-sickeningly sad that it's hard for me to point out updates to it, because they all get worse and worse. The latest: It appears he was shot – by friendly fire – from no further than 10 yards away. The "10 yard" symbolism (in addition to the implications of a horrifying reality) only adds to the tragedy.

NFL Training Camp: Will Marc Bulger show up? Will Asante Samuels show up? Will high-profile draftees show up? The first days of training camp are always about the holdouts – and the rookie signees. (Here's one who will show up: Teen sensation Amobi Okoye, the first-rounder who signed with the Texans. Other notable rookie signings: Joe Thomas, Jamaal Anderson, Marshawn Lynch. Sounds like Ted Ginn is close. Hmm: How about Calvin Johnson... or Brady Quinn? Is Quinn still asking for Top 10 money as a 20-something pick?)

(You know what did show up, in my mailbox? Pro Football Prospectus 2007. I'm so excited about that. I'll let you know how it looks this year after I've gotten a chance to dive into it this weekend. I'm pretty sure it will earn its annual "must-have" status.)

More: Goodbye Simeon Rice, hello Gaines Adams.

College Football Media Daze: The SEC Media Day craziness isn't even over yet, and I think Steve Spurrier has beaten out Nick Saban and Urban Meyer as THE guy – mainly because Spurrier was talking up South Carolina as a legit SEC contender. EDSBS had the Gamecocks listed at No. 6 in his preseason Top 25. Don't know if that's his Spurrier-love or some special insight or just the boldness of taking a flier on the national breakout team of the year. Not sure I see it.

(OK, OK: Given that the SEC event was in Alabama, Nick Saban was by far the star attraction, as he probably should be this year. Anything less than 8-9 wins this year will be viewed as a disappointment... and I'm not sure that Tide fans won't be disappointed even then.)

College Football Media Daze: Pac-10. Yeah, it's USC and everyone else. (I know everyone says the Pac-10 is loaded this year, but let's truly get real. That's all relative.)

College Football Scheduling: Notre Dame and Oklahoma will play in 2012 and 2013. (Wait: Is this the replacement game for Michigan in those years? Hope not. Who is Michigan going to schedule? Texas is at the top of the wish list. Just don't play in the Rose Bowl, I guess.)

College Football Media: Give Big Ten Network president Mark Silverman credit. He is reaching out to Big Ten bloggers to talk with them about the BTN's story. Here's his interview with the highly influential Brian Cook at MGo Blog. Very savvy decision by Silverman.

(Speaking of Michigan, it looks like YouTube high school All-American RB Sam McGuffie is going to make his commitment announcement on Sunday. He's down to Michigan and Texas A&M. It would be a huge coup for Michigan to get him – he'll bring athleticism and excitement not seen since Desmond Howard... but as an RB, perfect to step in and replace Mike Hart. I don't have the video handy, but just search McGuffie on YouTube for the play I know you know I'm talking about.)

USA Oops: Whether it's pros or college kids, Team USA remains mired in mediocrity. At the PanAm Games, USA lost to Uruguay in the first round. I know it's only college players, but still: It's another indication that not only has the rest of the world caught up, but in many cases, they are better. (USA's under-19 team didn't bring home gold either.)

Fantasy Football: Count me among those who think that the Fantasy Football Hall of Fame is probably one of the most fun, intriguing and Web-friendly (not to mention well-executed) features that has ever published. Kudos to Karabell and Co.

Gaming: I'm actually intrigued to check out the World Series of Video Games on Sunday on CBS. Given the mass volume of gamers out there, there's some possibility here that it could turn into an annual TV event to watch. Depends on the execution.

(Speaking of execution: I'm not usually a NASCAR-watcher, but I'll check in to ESPN's inaugural NASCAR coverage this weekend. Really looking forward to the new "air-flow" animation enhancements, actually. If nothing else, NASCAR has always presented – by far – the most exciting on-screen experience for viewers. Speaking of making video games come alive. That's exactly what NASCAR figured out how to do.)

RIP, Skip Prosser. Condolences to family, friends and fans of a terrific college basketball coach, at several levels. Before he got to Wake Forest, he was part of that tremendous coaching legacy at Xavier. And, I didn't know this, but he once took a Loyola (MD) team that was 2-25 and got them to 17-13 the next season, including an NCAA Tournament bid.

-- D.S.


Luke Bell said...

"If nothing else, NASCAR has always presented – by far – the most exciting on-screen experience for viewers."

Ummm....what? Nothing more exciting than cars driving in a circle?

And Mr. Burns will always be my favorite character.

BD said...

Mr. Burns

"The Excluders Club"

"As of this moment, Lionel Hutz no longer exists. Say hello to Miguel Sanchez!"

"Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos"

N.J.G said...

char: Troy Mclure
episode: the softball one
qoute: me fail english, thats unpossible!

RevScottDeMangeMD said...

I LOVE the Simpsons!

Best. Episode. Ever.

Favorite character is obviously Homer but if I had to pick a minor character, it would be Apu.

Favorite line?

Homer: Okay, boy. This is where all the hard work, sacrifice, and painful scaldings pay off.

Employee: Four pounds of grease … that comes to … sixty-three cents.

Homer: Woo-hoo!

Bart: Dad, all that bacon cost twenty-seven dollars.

Homer: Yeah, but your mom paid for that!

Bart: But doesn’t she get her money from you?

Homer: And I get my money from grease! What’s the problem?

Huguenot said...

Sideshow Raheem "I wouldn't"

22 Short Films About Life in Springfield

Monorail: "The ring came off my pudding can"

"A fine Mahawk to you all" (Sideshow Bob meeting the other Republicans)

Josh said...

Favorite character -

Troy McClure

Favorite episode -

Either "King Size Homer" or "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"

Favorite quote (just off the top of my head, not necessarily my favorite) -

"And Homer finds a new passion...dusting and polishing mixing boards."

Dubs said...

Favorite character was always Troy McClure or Lionel Hutz. Man do I miss Phil Hartman. :(

Favorite episode was "Homer the Clown" but I think that the Beer Barron episode might have passed it.

For the sports side, it's hard to top "Homer at the Bat".

Side note Dan. Your MLB duds are certainly misnamed 90% of the time. You're really calling Chase a dud because a rookie pitcher who shouldn't even be in double A hit him? That's not a dud.

Also, hate now has a face and it is John Lannon. Good luck with your career when you visit Philly again.

Clinton (Indianapolis) said...

Favorite character: Mr. Burns

Favorite episode: "Last Exit to Springfield", where Homer becomes president of the union.

Favorite quote: "Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business." -Mr. Burns

Unknown said...

Character: Troy Mcclure

Episode: Bart vs. Thanksgiving (halftime show with "Hooray for Everything")
Homer at Bat (all the major league ringers episode)
Mr. Plow (just because of the Mr. Plow commercial)
quote: Homer - "You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'."

SAE said...

Lyle Lanley/Lionel Hutz/Troy McClure

Flanders kid: "We're not allowed to have sugar."
Bart: "There's no sugar in pixie sticks."

Scorpio episode where the Simpsons move to Colorado for Homer's new job. He helps kill 007 and gets the Denver Broncos as a thank you, which leads to another great quote

Homer: Aw, the Denver Broncos!
Marge: I think owning the Denver Broncos is pretty good.
Homer: Yeah, yeah.
Marge: Well, explain to me why it isn't.
Homer: [sighs] You just don't understand football, Marge.

Matt T said...

We'll see how good South Carolina is on September 8th when they travel to Athens for a nationally televised night game.

Josh said...

actually, this might be my favorite quote:

Marge: Homer, it's 2 am. What happened?

Homer: It was an alien, Marge! It appeared in front of me and said "Don't be Afraid."

Marge: [waving her hand in front her nose] Have you been drinking?

Homer: No! Well, ten beers.

futurelegendvinceyoung said...

Homer of course but minor character is Ralph Wiggum.

Episode is tough but at 8:20 CST I will say the "The Little Wiggy" but that will change later in the day.

Quote is from Lost our Lisa:

Homer: "Feeling stupid? I know I am."

Michael said...

character:Kirk Van Hauten

Quote: "pray for mojo'

episode: where to begin...

Dave Jackson said...

Favorite character: Krusty

Favorite episodes: Cape Feare and You Only Move Twice

Favorite quote:

Marge: Do you want your son to be Chief Justice of the Supreme Court or a sleazy male stripper?

Homer: Can't he be both, like the late Earl Warren?

Marge: Earl Warren wasn't a stripper.

Homer: NOW who's being naive?


Huguenot said...

"Oh no...Beta"

Sambo said...

Character: Sideshow Bob

Songs: "See my Vests" and "Lisa, It's Your Birthday"

Quotes: "Lousy Smarch weather!"

Moe: "It can flash fry a buffalo in 8 seconds"

Homer: "But I want it now!"

chitown italian said...

I take the Tillman story very personally. No, I never met the man and I sure wasn't a Cardinal from being from Ill. Because I was in college during Desert Storm and found myself in a bar watching the scenes on TV. I wasn't doing well in college so I joined the Marine Corps (1991-1994).

I find the way the military handled what happened to be appalling. The Army had a chance to stand up and let the public know what happened and they didn't. Big deal so they are going to take rank and pay away from those who covered up the friendly fire incident. Their platoon should never have been split up to put the soldiers in this position (this is based on what I read). It's a damn shame that his family and friends had to be lied to by the U.S. Army.

Well, on to the Simpsons:
1) Character: I like all the sports stars. The baseball episode was great. Tyson was actually funny too.
2) Show: The first couple Halloween shows were pretty entertaining.
3) Quote: Kent Brockman doing commentary on the St. Pats day parade (it was watched with some 15 to 20 friends): "St. Patricks Day, where everyone's a little bit Irish except the gays and Italians." [My friends got a good laugh out of that]

Michael said...

"hi supernintendo chalmers"

Unknown said...

Fav character: Ralph Wiggun

Episode: Hank Scorpio one

Quote: "Does whiskey count as beer?"

Mark said...

Favorite character - Lisa.

Minor: Disco Stu - "regular Stu, likes Disco music!" - from one of the better recent episodes

Episode: The Springfield Files

Quote: simple, not quite outwardly hilarious, but I think it captures the essence of Homer pefectly.

Sideshow Bob: Ah, Mr. Simpson, you're forgetting the first two noble truths of the Buddha.

Homer: I am not!

Mark said...

Oh, and Albert Brooks might be the best part of the Simpsons whenever he is on.

Hank Scorpio: You ever see a guy say good bye to a shoe before?

Homer: (laughing) Yeah, once.


But that's my lucky belt. Long story, good one.

ToddTheJackass said...

MLB Studs and Duds from Yesterday:

1. Manny Ramirez - 3/4, 2HR, 2B, 4RBI, 4R, BB
2. Nick Swisher - 3/5, 2HR, 4RBI, 3R
3. Zach Greinke - 2.2IP, 0ER, 0H, 0BB, K
4. Wandy Rodriguez - W, 7.0IP, ER, 5H, 2BB, 5Ks
5. Braden Looper - W, 7.0IP, ER, 5H, 2BB, 3Ks

1. David Wells - L, 3.0IP, 7ER, 7H, 4BB, 3HR
2. Cliff Lee - L, 4.0IP, 7ER, 8R, 9H, 3BB
3. Al Reyes - 1.0IP, 4ER, 4H
4. Francisco Cordero - L, BS, 1.1IP, 2ER, 5H, BB
5. Derek Jeter - 0/4, 2Ks, 4LOB

Natsfan74 said...

Favorite Character -- Ralph Wiggum

Favorite Episode -- Daddy Daughter Day, when Lisa becomes a great sports prognosticator

Favorite Quote -- "This ticket doesn't just give me a seat, it also gives me the right- no, the duty!- to make a complete ass of myself." -Homer J. Simpson

But, the quote I use most in casual conversation is "My cat's breath smells like catfood"

Dan -- GuysinCorners beat you to teh scoop yesterday on ARods' 499/ 500 HR controversy. Friends of mine are going to the game tonight, hoping to catch a HR, whatever you want to number it.

Also, for your love of all things bloggers, you should idolize Ted Leonsis (owner of several DC sports franchises). Ted is an avid blogger, who actually gives press passes to Caps/ Wizards/ and Mystics games to bloggers and gives them full access. In his blog this week, he identifies the fastest growing sport in America as video games and talks all about the national video game championships and such.

Anonymous said...

Favorite Character - Troy McClure

Favorite quote - Homer: [With bag around his waiste while answering door] I seem to have misplaced my pants.

Favorite episode probably is the Stone Mason's pardody of the free Mason's. Marge getting the SUV episode was also hilarious.

Perks said...

Chief Wiggum

Homer's Enemy
Burns: Could you explain your model, young man?
Grimes: What's to explain? He's an idiot!
Lenny: Pipe down!
Homer: Well basically, I just copied the plant we have now.
Burns: Hmmm.
Homer: Then, I added some fins to lower wind resistance. And this racing stripe here I feel is pretty sharp.
Burns: Agreed. First prize

Mark McGwire: Do you want to know the terrifying truth, or do you want to see me sock a few dingers?


NA said...

Favorite Character - Lionel Hutz

My favorites are - "Lisa the Vegetarian" - just such a quotable epiode.
♪You Don't make friends with Salad ♪... and so forth

Also, "Homer at the Bat" simply because of the Talkin' Softball song.

"Beer, the cause of, and solution to all of lifes problems"

Marge: Homer, there's somewhere here to help you
Homer: Is it batman?
Marge: No it's a scientist
Homer: Batman's a scientist

Also from the Monorail episode

Boomhauertjs said...

Character(s): Troy McClure and Lionel Hutz. The show hasn't been the same since Phil Hartman died.

Scene: When the Simpsons are having a dinner party, Marge asks Homer if he's ready. Homer, dressed in his undies and playing slot car racing, responds "Just got to put my shoes on."

Episode: The one where Bart goes to France as a foreign exchange student.

Line: "My cat's breath smells like cat food."

verbal97 said...

character: Homer
minor character: Milhouse
really minor character: Frank Grimes

quote: either "hi supernintendo chalmers" or "everything's coming up milhouse"

episode: the "GO" episode with Linguo.

Adam said...

Favorite Character: Sideshow Bob
Favorite Random Character: Gil

Favorite Episode: "You Only Move Twice", but the one when Apu's mother comes to visit and Homer lives in the Retirement Castle (season 9) made me laugh the hardest.

Favorite Quote: impossible to pick one, but I've always loved, "We believe Burns still has that bill hidden somewhere in his house, but all we've picked up from satellite photos is that it's not on the roof."

CMFost said...

NATSFAN- Check yesterday's posts it was not GIT it was me who broke the A-Rod thing.

kway34 said...

Too many to name on all counts of The Simpsons...

Titania: You said if I slept with you I wouldn't have to touch the drunk.

Duffman: Duffman says a lot of things! Oh yeah!

Homer: You can really taste the goat.

Birch Barlow: I give you the next mayor of Springfield...
(door opens to water cooler, water cooler makes glug sound as air moves)
Rich Texan: What it'd say?

willie_dixon said...

Simpsons Character: ralph

quote : anything ralph says

episode: the one where homer is PieMan

on to sports:

no mention of another year suspension of odell thurman ==> one dui and one missed drug test = 2 year suspension

jerod allen's 2 dui's = 2 game suspension.


Anonymous said...

Need to add my second favorite line.

There is a Hindu elephant figurine on the counter at the Quickie Mart and Abu explains it is his god.

Homer pretends to feed it a peanut and Abu says, "Please do not feed my god a peanut."

ToddTheJackass said...

Favorite Character: Disco Stu
Favorite Episode: 22 Short Films
Favorite Line: Homer: [Looking at a globe being Uruguay]
Hee hee! Look at this country! 'You are gay.'

CMFost said...

one of my favorite lines comes from Ralph Wiggum
"I beat the smart kids, I beat the smart kids"
Ralph trips and then the great line
"I think I bent my wookie"

Unknown said...

Groundskeeper Willie

Last exit to Springfield

"Son, when you participate in sporting events, it’s not whether you win or lose: it’s how drunk you get. " (So true for intermural non serious sports)

Adam said...

"Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me."

"Okay, Mr. Burns--what's your first name?"

"...I don't know."

bkelly126 said...

Character: Homer/Ralph/Mr. Burns

Episode: "Homer Badman" a grenade made from buzz cola and pop rocks...brilliant.

Quote: "sacrilicious"
"In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women"

as far as the other USC is concerned, everyone here in Columbia is excited, but they've got an uphill battle. Don't think fat Phil hasn't forgotten what the cocks did last time they were in Knoxville.

bkelly126 said...

oh yeah, and "i'm not not licking toads"

Unknown said...

Character: Mr. Burns

Episodes: A Star is Burns, The Old Man and the Lisa

Mr. Burns to children: Questions?
(long pause)
Skinner: Well, uh, I'm going take advantage of this rare opportunity even if you children aren't interested. Ah, which do you think is more important, hard work, or stick-to-ivetiveness?
Burns: Are there any _real_ questions?

ToddTheJackass said...

What was the full Rageahol quote? I can't remember it.

Also, amazingly, 3 minor leaguers all hit for the cycle last night. Insanely random.

RIP Skip Prosser.

CMFost said...

Homer: When will I learn? The answers to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV!

Ralph: Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me.

Mr. Burns: A lifetime of working with nuclear power has left me with a healthy green glow…and left me as impotent as a Nevada boxing commissioner.

# Homer: Son, when you participate in sporting events, it’s not whether you win or lose: it’s how drunk you get.

# Homer: I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.

Ken Dynamo said...

costas blows. he tries to sound like a traditionlist that takes the 'obviously correct but unpopular given the state of the game today' stance but he ends up sounding like an ignorant ass. if he'd stick to announcing he'd be fine. instead he does these sensasionlist pieces and he deserves a lot worse than barry gave him. not as bad as bryant gumbel but thats not saying much. seriously, costs sucks.

and im glad that usa lost another basketball tournament. i hate national teams and national competitions. who cares? pro leagues destroy national leagues. politics and nationalism dont belong in sports. the only thing the olympics are good for is giving attention to smaller sports. and gambling on amatuers. if i were an nba player i would not even consider playing for team usa. its stupid. maybe if it was an exhibition game or soemthing but screw real competitions where you could get hurt. the whole concept sucks and is for horrible poor countires that need national teams to feel betetr about their miserable third world existence.

Phil said...

Best Quote Homer: I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman

Best Song is the Stonecutters song

And I must say the Stonecutters episode is up there on the favorites but i haven't watched in a few years so I don't know any recent Simpons stuff

bkelly126 said...

I'm a rageaholic, I can't go a day without rageahol

PhilCatelinet said...

Krusty the Clown

"Krusty Gets Kancelled"

Homer: You don’t like your job, you don’t strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way.

Big D said...

To chime in on all things Simpsons (although I've admittedly been lax in my viewing habits since college ended...)

Either Hank Scorpio or the Halloween Episode where the Dolphins invade. That kills me everytime I see it.

Anything voiced by Phil Hartman. Losing him was crushing for the show for quite awhile (not to mention for the fans)

Homer (in disguise, with fake voice, to postal worker): "Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a package for me?"
Postal Worker: Ok, and what is your first name Mr. Burns?
Homer: I don't know.

Song: Monorail or Canyonero. Either one puts a hop in my setp for the rest of the week.

Shelly said...

i definitely can't pick a favorite episode...


favorite character: otto

favorite quote: "I sleep in a drawer!"

hutlock said...

Does anyone remember the name of the character that was supposed to be like Tyson, but wasn't Tyson? I want to say Dreadrick Tatum, but I'm not sure on that.

Anyway, favorite character is tough, but I'm gonna go with Ralph.

Favorite episode: I forget the name (sorry, I'm lame), but it was the one with the three TV shows made around the Simpsons characters, with the Chief Wiggum action show set in New Orleans, the Simpsons Variety Show (where they draft in the leggy teen girl as a replacement), and Grandpa Simpson becoming a love test machine and giving Moe dating advice.

Favorite quote: A stretch, but I love the Mr. Plow jingle. "Call Mr. Plow, that's the name/That name again is Mr. Plow." I sing it all winter long...

Big D said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
doug said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
A.P. Boynton said...


"Me fail English? That's unpossible!" - Ralph Wiggums


R.I.P. Skip Prosser. He was a great coach and a class act. College basketball lost a great man.

Stud: ManRam; Kansas City pitching staff

Dud: Benitez. He served a fat one to Byrnes and the new psycho doesn't miss those pitches.

kway34 said...

(Bart looks at Skinner)
Skinner's Thoughts: "I know you can read my mind Bart. I know you skipped school yesterday, and as soon as I have proof, your ass is mine...that's right, I think words I would never say."

(Bart looks over to Homer)
Homer's Thoughts: "I know you can read MY thoughts boy...meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow."

Big D said...

Two additional Homer quotes, only because I use them all the time (mostly while in Vegas):

"Ah alcohol. The cause of, and cure for, all of life's problems."

"Whoa whoa whoa. I'm just trying to get in to Heaven. I'm not running for Jesus."

Boomhauertjs said...

One more quote:

"My name is Otto and I love to get blotto!"

doug said...

character: make that Barney (what a singing voice!)

episode: so many to choose from-- randomly how about when Homer becomes Bart's fighting robot?

Quote: "DONUTS... is there anything they CAN'T do?" Love the heroic music in the background!

7/27/2007 10:38:00 AM

chitown italian said...

Since everyone likes Ralph: I ate my red crayon

TC said...

Homer is far and away my favorite character--second place entries include Dr Nick and Professor Farnsworth.

Favorite scene: Former producer Dana Gould was interviewed on the radio in Philly a few months ago, and was asked about his favorite moment that never made it on the show. His answer: during one episode (I forget which), the Simpsons are in a bookstore, where they run into Dr Nick, who is looking at a copy of "Our Bodies, Our Minds" and there's a picture of a woman giving birth. He asks, "Why does that lady have a baby coming out of her abortion hole?"

I was driving to work as he told this story, and almost drove off the road.

Favorite quote: Among stuff that actually aired, I've always loved, "I am intrigued by your ideas and wish to subscribe to your newsletter."

doug said...

I forgot my favorite song!

Definitely "Who Needs That Kwik-E-Mart"... Homer's rhyme is quick but hilarious. And at the end, one of my favorite moments of the entire show:

Apu sitting on the roof alone. In a minor key. "Who needs that Kwik-E-Mart, I doooooooo"


Brian said...

Troy McClure

"Homer's Enemy"

"Son, when you participate in sporting events, it’s not whether you win or lose: it’s how drunk you get."


"Anything less than 8-9 wins this year will be viewed as a disappointment... and I'm not sure that Tide fans won't be disappointed even then."

We Tide fans may not be satisfied if we're not at least moving towards perfection, but we're not idiot, we know we have a promising QB, the best underclassmen LT in the SEC (maybe the country), a great young LB and an all-SEC CB but not much outside of that. We know we need a RB to step up and that we will be lucky to get to 9 wins, even with a favorable home schedule. But we will be closer with Saban that any other optin we had and It's getting old for people to set us up for a fall for just doing what everyone else would have done.

SAE said...

Since someone mentioned Dr Nick:

"Call 1-800-DOCTORB! The B is for bargain!"

Ralph_Wiggum said...

Favorite character: Ralph Wiggum (runner up: Lenny, but I'm not sure why)

Favorite Episode: Treehouse of Horrors IV (Homer sells his soul for a donut, Mr Burns is a Vampire)

But Behind the Laughter was classic

Favorite Song: See My Vest

Best Quote: To alcohol, the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

Trey (formerly TF) said...

Saw the Simpsons movie at a private screening I managed to get two tickets for from a friend earlier this week.

As a lifelong Simpsons fan you WILL NOT be disappointed. I was expecting the worst, and hour and 1/2 of one of my favorite TV shows being bastardized to sell a few bucks.

Boy was I wrong. It was as if they brought the mid 90s classics back again. A definite must see if you're a Simpsons fan.

Anyways, my favorite quote.

Homer: Hello, my name is Mr Burns, and I believe you have a package for me
Mail Guy: Ok Mr. Burns, whats your first name
Homer: I doooon't know

Episode: Can't remember the name, but the one where Homor causes a meltdown of the Feds truck.

hutlock said...

Another runner-up for favorite episode/song: The BeSharps/"Baby On Board" -- cuz I love the Beatles.

CMFost said...

"My name is Otto and I love to get Blotto"

RevScottDeMangeMD said...

Hey big spender, buy this blender, rainbow suspenders, tie rack motor!

Table 5! Table 5! ah ah ah ah! Taaaaaaaable fiiiiiiiiiiiive!

And spennnnnnnnd your money at a taaaaaaaable threeeeeeee!

CMFost said...

one of my favorite episodes is not sure what it is called but it is when Springfield has a Film Festival with Jon Lovits in it. And Homer is a judge and he loves the movie "Man getting hit by a football"

Anonymous said...

Characters: Lenny and Carl

Episode: "Home At The Bat", where Mr. Burns hires the ringers for the company softball game.

Quote: "Some of these guys have got a bad attitude, Skip" -- Darryl Strawberry to Mr. Burns

Ftrain said...

Once again sadly misinformed Dan:

The US hasn't has won gold at the Pan American Games since 1983, when a guy named Michael Jordan led the squad.

So the US obiviously hasn't cared about the Pan Am games in a long time.


Favorite Character:
Can't pick on.

Favorite Ep:
"Homer At Bat"

Favorite Quote:

Barney: My name is Barney Gumble and I’m an alcoholic.

Lisa: But Mr. Gumble this is a Girl Scout meeting.

Barney: Is It? Or is it that you can’t admit you have a problem!

Trey (formerly TF) said...

Just remembered another.

When they become the Thompsons. Classic.

bkelly126 said...

I wonder if steinbrenner asks mattingly to trim up his sideburns?

Natsfan74 said...

CM -- sorry, I gave the credit to the wrong source. Great job scooping Dan though.

Dubs -- you're a moron. It is very unfortunate that Utley got hurt, but he got hit with a tight fastball on an 0-2 pitch. Rookies don't throw at star players, especially with an 0-2 count. It might, possibly, be conceivable that he threw at Howard, but even the Philly sportscasters who called the game didn't think either pitch was intentional. But, typical Philly fans, they hate everything. Since Lannon and Santa Clause will never be there at the same time, you can boo each of them individually.

verbal97 said...


CMFost said...

I found this really interesting

Imagine the sports greatness we were cheated from:

* Bobby Orr played in 37 games after age 27
* Gayle Sayers played in 4 games after age 26
* Bo Jackson didn’t play after 28
* Sandy Koufax retired at 30
* Mark Fidrych started 16 games after age 22
* Terrell Davis didn’t carry a ball after age 29

Anonymous said...

Add one more to that list, cmfrost:

Ken Dryden played for 8 seasons, won 6 Stanley Cups and retired (healthy) at age 32.

Unknown said...

Lionel Hutz


The Planet of the Apes Song
(I hate every ape I see from chimpanz-A to chimpanzee...)

RIP Phil Hartman

Chuck Wessell said...

"ESPN's inaugural NASCAR coverage". Umm, NASCAR was on ESPN before it signed its deal with FOX/NBC and many long-time NASCAR fans were upset by that move since they enjoyed ESPN's coverage and saw it as part of the reason for the sport's growth.

Of course, the network that covered those races was closer to the "Little Engine That Could" ESPN than the current "We Will Beat You Over The Head With This" ESPN.

Brad said...

Fav Character (besides one of the Simpson's): Disco Stu ("Disco Stu doesn't advertise!")

Fav Episode: "You Only Move Twice" (the one where Homer works for Hank Scorpio at the Globex corporation); Runner Up: "The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson"

Fav Quote: "To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all of life's problems!"

Dane Buzzle said...

Character: "The Jerk" They guy from this scene in "When Flanders Failed", along with some others.

Ned: I think word of mouth is starting to spread.
Man: Hey, I hear you validate parking tickets without purchase.
Ned: Oh, right as rain! Or, as we say around here, `left as rain', heh heh.
Man: Just stamp the ticket.
Ned: Oh, okay.

Episode: Lisa on Ice

Gloria: Johnny-boy hasn't been able to "cut it", man-wise for some time, not that I'd want his stench of Gin and sour defeat pressed against me.
John: That's enough Gloria!
Reverend Lovejoy: John, why don't you tell us a little about Gloria?
John: She doesn't cook, she never keeps a clean house, she smokes, and she drinks, and she talks profanely! SHE'S QUEEN OF THE HARPIES!
Gloria: No I'm not!
Gloria: No, I'm not!

Big D said...

From "Cape Feare"

FBI man 1: Tell you what, Mr. Simpson, from now on your name is Homer Thompson, at Terror Lake. Let's just practice a bit, hmmmm? So when I say hello Mr. Thompson, you say hi.
Homer: Check!
FBI man 1: Hello, Mr. Thompson.
[Homer stares blankly]
FBI man 1: [pause]
FBI man 1: Now, remember, your name is Homer Thompson.
Homer: I gotcha!
FBI man 1: Hello, Mr. Thompson.
FBI man 1: [FBI men stare at each other]
[hours pass by]
FBI man 1: [frustrated] Argh... Now when I say "Hello Mr. Thompson" and press down on your foot, you smile and nod.
Homer: No problem.
[stepping hard on Homer's foot]
FBI man 1: Hello, Mr. Thompson.
[Homer stares blankly again for a few seconds]
Homer: [whispering to the FBI man #2 next to him] I think he's talking to you...

Absolutely classic.

k said...

favorite character: Lisa, by a landslide.

favorite episode: impossible to choose, but probably the one with the ringers on the company team.

favorite line (well, top two): granpa: I was spanked by Grover Cleveland on two non-consecutive occasions!


Marge: You hated Rashomon!
Homer: That's not how I remember it!

Mega said...

Favorite Character: McBain ("ICE to see you!")

Favorite Episode: Stonecutters

Favorite Quote? Too many to name here. This will be a good blog update.

verbal97 said...

Homer: [drunk] See, the thing about my family is there are five of 'em: Marge, Bart, girl Bart, the one that doesn't talk, and the fat guy. Oh, how I loathe him.

Johnny b said...

Favorite Simpson: Maggie
Favorite secondary: Ralph
Favorite Minor: Crazy Cat Lady

Episode (can't pick one): Behind the Laughter, Blame it on Lisa (they go to brazil), Homer the Great, Missionary Impossible, Homer's Phobia, Girls Just Want to Have Sums, the Evolution episode

Quotes: The Simpsons TV show started on a wing and a prayer. Now the wing is on fire and the prayer has been answered by Satan

Ralph: Why does everybody run from me (a wet spot appears in his crotch)

Ralph: I got beat up by boy Lisa and girl Lisa

Homer: Jeebus? I don't even believe in Jeebus

Song: Put the spring in spring field, The Jockey song, The stonecutter song, monorail

David said...

Two Quotes:
Homer: Mr Burns you're the richest person I know.
Mr. Burns: Yes, But I'd trade it all for a little more.

Marge: It says here, Works on Contingency No money Down.
Lionel Hutz: No they got the punctuation wrong, Works on Contingency? No, Money Down!

Mega said...

"Hey, you're right! Next time I see Lenny I'm gonna punch him right in the back of his head!"

"I can't let that happen, I won't let that happen, and I can't let that happen!"

"I'm Kent Brockman! The President has DIED....his hair!"

"Damn you snow!"

"And I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords. I'd like to
remind them that as a trusted TV personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar

Anonymous said...

(1) Grounds Keeper Willie
(2) Homer at Bat
(3) Now, look, boy. If your da goes ga-ga, you just use that…shin of yours to call me, and I’ll come a-runnin’. But don’t be readin’ my mind between 4 and 5. That’s Willie’s time!

bkelly126 said...

Skinner: There's no such thing as "Scotchtoberfest".
Willy: There's not? You used me, Skinner! You used me!

bkelly126 said...

"guess I forgot to put the fog lights in" (as sung to the Sugar Crisp jungle)

kway34 said...

Homer about his Ayatollah Assahola shirt: "That works for any Ayatollah! Ayatollah Nakhbadeh, Ayatollah Zahedi... Even as we speak, Ayatollah Razmara and his cadre of fanatics are consolidating their power!"

verbal97 said...

"Badger my ass, it's probably just Milhouse"

Ftrain said...

ok Gonna add a new category, favorite heartfelt moment (it is a family show after all)

In ep, "And Maggie Makes Three":

When scene then cuts to Homer's workplace with all of Maggie's pictures positioned around a plaque to alter it into saying "Do it for her."

Always brings a tear to my eye

Anonymous said...

Dental Plan!

Favorite character:Barney
Episode:Homer up At Bat

Chief Wiggum: I'd sure hate to close you down. Maybe we can come to an understanding.

Homer: I understand.

Chief Wiggum: Uh, I'm looking for my friend Bill. Seen any bills around?

Homer: No. His name's Bart.

Bart: Uh, Dad, I think he's . . .

Homer: Quiet, son, daddy's talking to a policeman.

Chief Wiggum. Ok, listen to me as I nod and wink. What I'm really looking for is my friend Mr. Bribe. Wink, Wink.

Homer: It's a ring toss game.

Anonymous said...

Mr. Burns's Baseball Dream Team

P Mordecai "Three-Finger" Brown (1903-1916)
C Gabby Street (1904-1931)
1B Cap Anson (1871-1897)
2B Napoleon Lajoie (1896-1916)
SS Honus Wagner (1897-1917)
3B Pie Traynor (1920-1937)
LF Shoeless Joe Jackson (1908-1920)
CF Harry Hooper (1909-1925)
RF Jim Creighton (died 1862)

From the simpsons softball episode

Allen Wedge said...

Homer: we'll I think I'll just vote for a 3rd Party candidate

Kodos: Go Ahead Throw Your Vote Away!!!

Brian in Oxford said...

Ralph, to Lisa via card: I choo-choo-choose you!

Homer's advice to Lisa, six simple words:
"I'm not gay, but I'll learn"

Allen Wedge said...

now that I remember it that wasn't homer that said that, just some guy

The Legend of Vincent Tremblay said...

Character: Sideshow Bob

Episode: 22 Short Films About Springfield

"Professor Frink, Professor Frink
He'll make you laugh, he'll make you think
He likes to run and do the thing with the... person...
Oh boy, that monkey's gonna pay."

"I beat the smart kids! I beat the smart-- oof... I bent my Wookie."

"This calls for an open-faced club. A sand wedge!"
"Mmmmmm, open faced club sandwich."

"And now, The Paddling Of The Swollen Ass, With Paddles."

"We had to say 'dickety' back then, because the Kaiser had stolen our word for 'twenty.'"

Allen Wedge said...

Can't picka favorite episode but Favorite Moment: I don't remember the episode name but Homer joins a country club, and I forget who is walking his way but Homer is attempting to play golf,

...except he's doing it like croquet with his foot on top one ball to knock the other one away and he takes a full swing with the driver into his foot...

every time I play golf I think of that.

ToddTheJackass said...

Other than the Homer v. New York (Trade Center) and episode where Bart becomes a Bartender for the mob, what other episodes have they permananently taken off the air?

Man, all this talk really does make me miss Phil Hartman...

Brian in Oxford said...

Gimme five bees for an onion!

daviddow said...

You forgot to include the best Simpsons "Sports" episode.


CMFost said...


CMFost said...

sorry, someone had to do it.

Unknown said...

Character: Crazy Cat Lady

Episode: The one where Mayor Quimby's nephew goes on trial


Some folk'll never eat a skunk
But then again some folk'll
Cletus the slack jawed yokelll!!

Hey I can call my maw from up here. Hey maw! Get off the dang roof!

Anonymous said...

The one where Bart becomes a bartender for the mob was a spoof of the movie Goodfellas. Hilarious to see the Simpsons episode after the movie.

starkweather said...

Character: Troy McLure
Episode: I don't know the title (sorry, don't hit me!) but the one where they open the casino in Springfield and Marge becomes a gambling addict
Line: "I'm cold and there are wolves out here"

JimS said...

If you want to talk other trivial matters, like the over-under of Paris Hilton getting arrested again, go to another blog site. It's not like there's nothing relevant to talk about, what with all that is happening in sports this week, good and bad.

Anonymous said...

Character: Homer

Minor character: Rory B. Bellows

Ep: Flaming Moes

Quote: Uh no they’re saying Boo-urns. (Can't keep from saying it anytime I hear boo-ing)

Yes, ND-OU replaces the Michigan game temporarily. They're in discussions on when to start it back up. Michigan's looking for a major conference foe to replace ND. Yes, Texas would be nice as would one of the SEC powerhouses.

Anonymous said...


barry sanders belongs on that list too...put that man on a half decent team, lengthen his career and ALL the records go down to him.

Trey (formerly TF) said...

ryan from boston,ma said...
Mr. Burns's Baseball Dream Team

P Mordecai "Three-Finger" Brown (1903-1916)
C Gabby Street (1904-1931)
1B Cap Anson (1871-1897)
2B Napoleon Lajoie (1896-1916)
SS Honus Wagner (1897-1917)
3B Pie Traynor (1920-1937)
LF Shoeless Joe Jackson (1908-1920)
CF Harry Hooper (1909-1925)
RF Jim Creighton (died 1862)

From the simpsons softball episode

Best. Lineup. Ever.

SaucyNuggetz said...

Favourite Character: Super Intendent Chalmers

Just so many good ones, but some that have not been mentioned yet and must be shared


Superintendent Chalmers: (Discussing Lisa Simpson as student body president after Willie's statement): "I don’t mean to interrupt your advice from the Janitor , but I say cut off the head and the body will die."

Chief Wiggum during Marge's police testing: "You missed the baby, you missed the blind man...."

Lisa doing Anagrams:
"Alright Lisa, Jeremy Irons."

Lisa: "Jeremy's... iron."

"Mm hmm, well, that's... very good... for a first try. You know what? I have a ball. Perhaps you'd like to bounce it?"

Homer to Bart in that episode where Lisa thinks she's going to be stupid:

Bart: "So I'm going to be a failure?"

Homer: "Yes son, a spectacular failure"

Superintendent Chalmers: "I've had it with this school, Skinner. Low test scores, class after class of ugly, ugly children..."

And finally,

Everything in that scene with Chalmers and Skinner about the steamed hams and Northern Lights.

Just pure gold

Unknown said...

Character: Ralph

Episode: Pin Pals

Bart: "These new shorts suck. They leave nothing to the imagination."

Marge: "Don't talk like that, I dont know where you learn those words."

Homer: "yeah Moe those guys sure did suck last night. I mean, i've seen teams suck before, but they just plain sucked. They were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked."

Marge: "Homer!"

Homer: "Moe, i gotta go. My damn weiner kids are listening."

Lisa: "We are not weiners!"

Homer: "Oh yeah? Then why you dressed like that?"

Lisa: "They made us!"

Homer: "OOOOOOOH! They made us! That's loser talk! You need to be more like me and my team, the future league champions of the world!"

also...."my cat's breath smells like catfood." -ralph

Marcus T said...

Fave character: Edna Krabappel. She didn't care, gotta love that in your school teachers.

Fave episode: The one where Burns is running for some office and he eats the 3 eyed fish.

Fave song: Lisa its your birthday. I am sappy, I know.

Fave scene: Where they're in shock therapy and they keep zapping each other. I almost pissed myself the first 10 times I watched it.

Fave quote: Homer: [To Lisa, while breaking into a museum] Could you open the window? The cop's have Daddy's prints on file.

or..."To alcohol! - the cause of - and solution to, all of life's problems."

This has me all nostalgic. I am probably going to go buy a few seasons on DVD.

CMFost said...

jims if you have something you would like to discuss throw it out there but for you today good luck getting a lot of sports talk out of us. We will return to our regularly scheduled commenting about sports on monday

CMFost said...

marcus I have to agree this scene "Fave scene: Where they're in shock therapy and they keep zapping each other." is a classic

Anonymous said...

Lionel Hutz was my fave (RIP Phil Hartman)

Treehouse of Horrors episodes.

Stella! You put me through Hell-a! STEELLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Unknown said...

Character: Homer

Episode: I'm sure I'm missing some better episode, but for some reason I've always liked the "Homer to the Max" episode (at least until Ed Begley, Jr. shows up)

Homer: There's three ways of doing things: the right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way!
Bart: Isn't that the wrong way?
Homer: Yeah, but faster!

hskr dave said...

I like Fat Tony as my Favorite Character (Joe Mantegna is Second Only to Phil Hartman)

One of my favorite clips is the cops doing the krusty burger vs mcdonalds in shelbyville pulp fiction parody.

"there are over 2,000 locations in this state alone"

"must have popped up over night."

And I am surprised no one has said "Excellent Smithers, Excellent" while drumming your fingers together. You know you all do it.

Unknown said...

"Mr Simpson, disparaging the boot is a bootable offense!" From Bart vs. Australia. That episode also had the Australian dad yelling, "NINE HUNDRED DOLLARYDOOS!?!" as he looked at the phone bill. Cracks me up.

Sherry Bobbins: "It's good to see you, Willy."
Willy: "Awk, that's not what you said last time you saw me. You got your sight back, and suddenly the ugliest man in Glasgow was no' good enough for you."

The "Half Ass Job" song from that episode is probably my favorite.

Richard K. said...

Character: Noone mentioned Cletus yet, so I'll go with him. Although I could name at least 10 others.

Episode: The one when Homer thought Bart was gay and took him to the Steel Mill.

Quote: Mmmmmmmm....puuuurrrrrple...

MMurr said...

Favorite Character: Moe

Favorite Episode: Das Bus (the Lord of the Flies spin-off)

Favorite Line, from Homer: "Marge, what's the matter? Hungry? Sleepy? Gassy? Gassy? Is it gas? It's gas, isn't it?"

BrewThru said...

Favorite Character: Gil
You gotta feel bad for the guy who can never catch a break. Great scence where he is trying to sell the school computers and then mentions they'll rust quickly. "Just close the deal Gil" (Also where SuperNinteno Chalmers comes in from Ralph)

Favorite Episode: Hank Scorpio by far.

Favorite Quote: More of a sequence of quotes but where Moe is on the lie detector after someone shoots Mr. Burns...

Eddie: Did you hold a grudge against Montgomery Burns?
Moe: No! [buzz] All right, maybe I did. But I didn't shoot him. [ding]
Eddie: Checks out. OK, sir, you're free to go.
Moe: Good, 'cause I got a hot date tonight. [buzz] _A_ date. [buzz] Dinner with friends. [buzz] Dinner alone. [buzz] Watching TV alone. [buzz] All right! I'm going to sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret catalog. [buzz] [weakly] Sears catalog. [ding][angry] Now would you unhook this already, please? I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment! [buzz]

kway34 said...

Homer: Here are your messages: You have 30 minutes to move your car, you have 10 minutes to move your car, your car has been inpounded, your car has been crushed into a cube, you have 30 minutes to move your cube.
(Phone rings)
Homer: Hello?
Mr Burns: Is it about my cube?

Travis Miller said...

1. HANK SCORPIO!!!! (Best Character Ever!)

2. "You only move twice"

3. "To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."

Lake The Posts said...

Adding to the alltime post count record. Seems like perhaps you should do television-themed posts everyday....Now, i can only imagine your post total will be higher if the Cats sign one of the top 3 QBs of 2008 - Andy Luck - who, according to is expected to make his announcement this weekend and it appears as though Stanford and your alma mater are running neck and neck. Exxxxxxxxxxcelent.

BobbyStompy said...

1. Lionel Hutz

2. "Homie The Clown"

3. "He's stealing all the burgers!" - Homer

Oh, and for the song? Probably "We're talkin' softball"...

The Big Picture said...

fav character: Gil

quote...from Troy McClure (in Lisa Goes Vegetarian episode i think): "But don't let the name fool you, it's not really a floor at all- it's more a series of grates that allow loose meat to fall through"

episode: Tomacco

Biggs said...

Since I haven't seen it yet, one of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite episodes, Radioactive Man:

Rainier Wolfcastle: "My eyes! The goggles do nothing!"

Right before being swept away by a torrent of sulphuric acid.

Biggs said...

Ok, I can't help myself now. Two great quotes from $pringfield (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling):

Mr. Burns: (holding a miniature plane) We'll take the Spruce Goose. Hop in.
Smithers: But sure I…
(Burns pulls out a gun)
Mr. Burns: I said hop in.


[Homer is a Blackjack dealer]
Ernst Stavro Blofeld: Twenty. Your move, Mr. Bond.
James Bond : I'll take a hit, dealer.
[Homer deals Bond a card]
James Bond : Joker? You're supposed to take these out of the deck.
Homer : Oh, sorry, I'll give you another one.
[Homer deals Bond another card]
James Bond : What's this? "Rules for Draw and Stud Poker"?
Ernst Stavro Blofeld: What a pity, Mr. Bond...
[Oddjob and Jaws advance on Bond and grab him]
James Bond : But... but wait. It was Homer's fault. I can't lose. I never lose.
[Oddjob and Jaws drag Bond out of the casino]
James Bond : At least tell me your plans for world domination.
Ernst Stavro Blofeld: Oh ho ho, I'm not falling for THAT one again.

marvin's lost smile said...

RIP Skip Prosser. As an undergrad at Xavier 96-2000, I got a nice taste of the Skip Prosser era. The man was a pleasure to watch during the game, but an amazing guy off the court. I can't say enough about him.

My favorite Skip moment came my junior year. I was a bit of a gym rat, and Skip (and some of his coaches) would occasionally come down to the O'Connor Sports Center and get in the pick up games. Well, I made the mistake of guarding Skip for two games...and he used and abused me. The best was after I had made a decent stop on 2 consecutive drives, I'm sagging off and he nails a three in my eye, then gives me a little wink. Afterward he told me I needed to work a bit on my footwork, but he thought I had a nice shot. I was on cloud nine for a month.

I'll miss you Skip. And I hope boys upstairs have good footwork.

RexyBack said...

Minor character: Hank Scorpio

Episode: 22 Short Films

Scene: (somehow deleted from the original!) Snake is trying to murder Homer for buying his car, so strings wire across two trees hoping to decapatate Homer. Milhouse's dad angrilly raises his arm going "I told those idiots to cut my sandwich!" and then his arm gets cut off.

Ralph--"Will you open my milk, mommy?"

Jibblescribbits said...

Fav Character: Troy McClure

Fav episode: "Cape Fear" or "Beer Baron"

Quote(s): McClure: "Jimmy this is the killing floor. Don't let the name fool you. It's not a floor more like a grate that allows loose materials to fall through"

Homer: "Marge I can't lie to you... See you later"

NA said...

Re Derek Jeter:

I think he'd be a HOFer. His batting average is nearly .320. There is only one player who's hit for a higher average with more than 5,000 ABs since the turn of the century (1900s) who hasn't made the HOF.

Plus I think the best comparison to Jeter would be someone like Kirby Puckett, loved in the hometown (at time of retirement), great average hitter, average pop.

Kirby has slighty more HRs, Kirby has same average, Jeter has more speed, bothe played tough fielding positions, both had multiple WS titles that many felt they were a major part of.

If you allow Puckett in, then Jeter is in also. Especially if you consider that the only way Jeter would stop right now is if he got hurt.

Of course, if we find out Jeter is mixed up with the steroids stuff, then he's done too (no accusations, just a point)