Friday, March 27, 2009

This Month's Tim Tebow Update:
No-Huddle, Extra Deification, Beards

It has been far too long -- inappropriately so -- since I have commented on the state of Florida football:

*Florida spring practice started Wednesday. They are toying with the Sooner-style high-speed no-huddle. As obsessed as Urban is with the correlation of the volume of offensive plays to scoring an avalanche of points, this seems like a no-brainer.

*Tim Tebow's Speech -- yes, I capitalized it -- is now on a plaque outside The Swamp. (Orson dislikes it; I like it.) On my next trip down to Gainesville, I will surely have my children photographed in front of it. And by "children," I mean "me." And, perhaps most important...

*Tim Tebow is rocking a spring-break beard. It is unlikely he grows it as fast and furious as we swarthy Semites, but it is up there with Michael Jordan's one-time goatee as "Influential (If Temporary) Facial Hair Trends." When Clay Travis is giving in to Tebow, the domination is complete.

What we were missing this year -- following Tebow's annual spring-break PAAAARTAAAAAY to the Philippines -- was a repeat of last year's epic, myth-making detail that he performed circumcisions. Either he stopped doing them, or he kept it on the D.L. this time.

Despite the fact that this is my favorite player of all time, my favorite team, my favorite sport -- I will restrain myself as much as possible from now until August, so as not to alienate ALL of you. I have done a good enough job alienating MOST of you already.

-- D.S.

1 comment:

Eric said...

You did show some restraint there Dan, I'm proud of you. But you still missed a spot on your chin. You should probably wipe that off.