Thursday, September 07, 2006

Star of the Day: Joe Cullen

The scandal torch has been passed: The Lions are the new Vikings, a "nude car" is the new "sex boat" and Joe Cullen is the new Fred Smoot.

Drunk-driving is bad: Considering the NFC North, it could/should/would be a fire-worthy offense. (And the closest thing to "offense" that the Lions have seen in years.)

But "NUDE-driving" is infinitely worse. When you're driving around naked, you're looking for (or perhaps simply asking for) trouble. Not that I've tried it. Uh, no. Never.

Here's why it's worse: DUI is lamentable, "D-Nude-I" (or however we'll short-hand it) is just about as humiliating as it gets. Arrests while naked usually end up that way.

And the Lions already have enough humiliations in that front office; Cullen may have picked the wrong team and the wrong time of the season to enjoy "commando cruising."

-- D.S.

(Presumably, Cullen's antics will be eclipsed in pop culture by Paris Hilton's DUI arrest, but among sports fans, I expect Cullen to remain a source of amusement.)


Anonymous said...

I assume you could suggest either an appropriate team or season for nude driving?

Jon said...

I thought Eddie Griffin's incident a few months ago was a little worse. Pulled over with his pants down, watching porn and playing with himself. I don't think that can be topped.

Anonymous said...

On a serious note, at least the only damage that can be done by driving while nude is to one's reputation - DUI is one of the most irresponsible things a person can do, so is definitely worse.

Anonymous said...

Check Detroit Free Press account. Ole Miss fired him for weird stuff after only a few months in Oxford. Not clear if Lions management called the AD to find out about his antics down south. No mention of his three minutes there on Lions official biography. Shades of George O'Leary, only worse because of the DUI charge. And here Rod Marinelli wanted to impose discipline on the team after Mooch was fired. Do as we say, not as we do?