Thursday, September 21, 2006

Thursday A.M. Quickie:
Tiger's Wife + Porn = Page Views

No, Tiger's wife Elin Nordegren didn't pose for porn pics. (If she did, don't you think the photos would have popped up online a LONG time ago?)

I haven't seen the precise photos in question, but if you do a Google Image search on "Elin Nordegren," you might see a sample of the fakery that has him so fired up. (NSFW: Not safe for work)

Tiger is not overreacting to lash out at the Irish newspaper that published the faked-up pics -- though a man with more years of marriage under his belt might have said "Sure, my wife is model-hot. Jealous much?"

But Tiger and I got married within a few days of each other (see this Quickie column for my comparison of me and TW's nuptials), and I can understand his defensiveness less than two years into his marriage.

The speculation is that a motivated Tiger is going to eviscerate the Euros in the Ryder Cup to avenge his wife's honor. It's a titillating storyline (and I can't wait for the MSM to dance around "porn" during the Ryder broadcast).

But unlike other tournaments where he's been wronged in some way, Tiger is playing on a team this time, and he can't play for everyone. He may win his own matches, but he can't win a Ryder Cup by himself.

(Though I've always wondered what would happen if the U.S. said: "Screw you, Euros: We'll have Tiger take on your whole squad.")

n the end, Tiger may restore his wife's honor and the newspaper might apologize, but the media ultimately wins here: Who can resist clicking on a link that says "Tiger's wife" and "porn?"

Yankees back into clinching division: Yawn! That's 9 straight.

Given the competitiveness of the AL East, even with NY's payroll edge, this is pretty impressive. (Maybe even more impressive than the Braves?)

NL Wild Card: Tied up! The streaking Phillies have tied the Dodgers for the NL Wild Card, putting HUGE pressure on the NL West race, too.

Wow, the Phils have managed pull off the trick of making an otherwise unlikable team (and unlikable fan base) into the darlings of the National League.

Take the D-Train to Queens: Dontrelle Willis hits 2 HR and has 8-plus IP in a wonderful preview of what he'll look like in a Mets uniform next season and beyond.

Conflicting signals on Manny: His MRI came back clean, but his buddy Julian Tavarez insists Manny won't play another game this season.

(Now that the Red Sox are out of playoff contention, why should he? Gotta start thinking about next year.)

Madden Jinx! Shaun Alexander will miss practice today with a sore left foot. He's still probable for Sunday, but the foreshadowing is there...

Are the Seahawks pumping extra crowd noise into Qwest? I doubt it: The otherwise restrained Seattlites are just that loud. More power to 'em.

Joey Porter's pit bulls killed a miniature horse that lives next door to his house. Anyone got the YouTube on that? No?

Steve Smith is outraged: Insists his hammy injury isn't a contract-negotiating ploy. Know who IS outraged? FFL owners who drafted him.

Florida's top defensive lineman Marcus Thomas suspended indefinitely for second failed marijuana test. "Indefinitely" could be 2 games (Kentucky, Alabama). If it's 5, the Gators are in trouble.

That Oregon replay official will take the rest of the season off after getting a leave of absence from the Pac-10. Man law? Man law. (God I hate that joke. I'm declaring it "over.")

I have an idea for college football replay: Let the viewers vote from home via the phone, online and texting.

Just try it for one otherwise meaningless game, but I'll bet that it sets a new record for viewing.

(Hell, even if it doesn't actually "count," why doesn't ESPN or CBS offer a "You vote!" option during replay reviews?)

Pete Rose ain't an idiot: Undercutting the auction on the signed "apology" balls (where he won't see a dime), he's selling his own version via his Web site for $299.

-- D.S.

43 comments:

Joe Asheville said...

All this talk of Tiger leading the US to victory in the Ryder Cup is nonsense. Tiger is great when exacting revenge, but that doesn't carry over to the rest of the "team".

Tiger has a unique mental approach that allows him to conquer his weaker-minded teammates on the Tour. Even though other US players were "insulted", that doesn't mean THEY will play better.

Watch how Tiger will play strong initially, and how most other US players will wilt under the pressure. Again.

Bryan said...

"Who can resist clicking on a link that says "Tiger's wife" and "porn?""

Yea thanks Dan, you tempt me with something as simple as a Google search, and then throw that NSFW at the end of it, thanks a lot man!!!! Thanks A lot!!!

PhillyGirl said...

If the Phils make the playoffs, game 4 of the first series, will be in Philadelphia, and played Sunday October 8th. That is the same day of the Eagles-Cowboys game and return of TO to Philadelphia. The NFL has already said they won't switch this Eagles-Cowboys meeting with the one later in the season (on Xmas day).
Quickie superlative for Philadelphia - Best. Sports Day. Ever.??

Generik said...

Hey Dan, I am pretty sure a few years back there was a phone in voting on instant replays. I think it may have been on the Sunday night games on ESPN, or MNF. Might have only been on season, but I clearly remember the broadcasters coming back from commercial with the replay official still under the hood and telling the results of what the viewers thought.

I don't think I have ever seen it done for the college game though.

The Sportsvixen said...

That's terrible about Joey Porter's dogs, just one more story to give pit bulls a bad rep.

If the Madden Jinx gets softie Shaun "don't tackle me" Alexandar it won't make me sad and it really doesn't surprise me. He got his big contract last year, along with his rushing title, so he's just coasting now. He hasn't been able to get over 100 yds yet, this sore foot surely isn't gonna help him. If it seems I'm enjoying this too much, it's because I play him in fantasty this week. Well maybe I'd enjoy it anyway, schadenfreude is lovely.

RevScottDeMangeMD said...

First off, if it was your wife, wouldn't you be super pissed off? Tiger already "won back her honor" by being pissed off at the press conference. Actually, he probably never lost her honor.

Second off, the Ryder Cup has been horrible the last 2 times out. The U.S.A. Ryder team is like Team U.S.A. in basketball. All the players are stars and can't play together like a team. However, this year, there are 4 rookies and the U.S. team is actually underdogs. That being said, will I actually need to turn on the TV on Sunday or will it already be over?

LudaKris said...

With the Florida Gator Linemen, he got in trouble twice for the same thing (Double Jeopardy). So all gator fans are hoping for the 2 game variety rather then 5 games.

Kristopher (Tampa, FL)

mkud said...

So, completely off subject, but absolutely mind blowing, thanks in part to Jayson Stark. Not saying this should affect the NL MVP vote, because they don't necessarily lend themselves to value, but the numbers are stunning:

Pujols-- 494 ab, .328 ba, 112 r, 46 hr, 128 rbi, 1.101 ops, 84 bb, 44 k's...44 k's!!

Howard-- 548 ab, .312 ba, 101 r57 hr, 140 rbi, 1.084 ops, 94 bb, 170 k's

Howard, in 50 more at bats, has 4x the number of strikeouts...not saying that all of those balls put in play by Pujols are productive outs, but the guy is just amazing...more hr's than k's is simply astounding...the guy may be on his way to be the new "greatest Hitter Who Ever Lived"

Kurt said...

Dan it gives me joy knowing that it gives you no joy that the Yankees are the team to beat in the playoffs.

Brian in Oxford said...

Hey, it sure looks like the Yankees of the 2000s are becoming like the Braves of the 1990s.....all those *division* titles.

Besides, last year was a tie, if the Indians hadn't pissed away the last week of the season, the Sox and Yanks coulda decided it on the field rather than by an NFL-style tiebreaker.

Hey, here's an idea for the Ryder Cup. Big uniform numbers on the back. (And in some cases, like Phil or Monty....triple digits?)

jay said...

The Yankee's 9 is better than the Braves 14? Although the NL east does not have all of the hooplah (and money) that the AL east has, it is no pushover. Also, to win the division, you have to beat up on more than just the teams in your division. Also, the Braves have done it with rookies, vetrans, MVPs, everyone; with comparatively no-name players versus the Yankees.

Call me in 5 years and we can discuss who's 14 year streak is better.

Whittle said...

Wow, the Phils have managed pull off the trick of making an otherwise unlikable team (and unlikable fan base) into the darlings of the National League.

I swear to god.

Brew City Legend said...

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.gambling911.com/image006666.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.gambling911.com/Tiger-Woods-Nude-Wife-Photos-092006.html&h=540&w=720&sz=36&hl=en&start=13&tbnid=GGy8yiTrAceAmM:&tbnh=104&tbnw=139&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dnude%26svnum%3D10%26hl%3Den%26lr%3D


that link tells it all, dan. it shows the photo and everything.

Mark (Austin, TX) said...

Ryder cup??? What is this Ryder cup you speak of (I keed I keed).

Does Shaun's sort foot have anything to do with a lemon and a weiner dog (best ESPN mobile commercial ever)?

Last time I checked 14 > 9, factor in that the Braves did it as an organization (farm system, recruiting, smart free agency, etc) versus the blank checkbook, I will still give the edge to the Braves.

I hope the Pac-10 official makes it back to the games. For him to get death threats over the game is just a level of assininity that defies explanation. Also, I caught a quick story that said he was on of the officials at the Cal-Stanford "The Play" game. How is that for fate, to be involved in two big college football events like that, and to be a factor in the outcome.

Now with the Phillies surging, we have a race. 3 teams, 2 spots and all the associated scoreboard watching that goes with it. I almost sad that I will miss that while on vacation.

Are you so sure about Dontrelle leaving the Fish? He seems like the kind of star they could build around, when they move to Portland/Vegas/San Antonio/Puerto Rico or whereever they are rumored to be moving to next.

ChrTh said...

Call me in 5 years and we can discuss who's 14 year streak is better.

Braves didn't have a 14 year streak.

ChrTh said...

Speaking of the 1994 strike,
does anybody else remember SI's article 'Oh What a Finish!' when they projected the rest of the season? 62nd homer hit in game 163--thus gaining 2 asterisks, Cubs-Red Sox WS ... that had to be one of the funniest articles ever. It's a shame it wasn't reprinted in the SI 50th Anniversary article book. Hmm, I wonder if it's in the SI Baseball one? To Amazon.com!

Darth Bubbster said...

Why the hate for the Philly fan base? Because we're HARD on our multi-million dollar athletes? That we won't blindly cheer anyone that wears the right jersey? Cheeseheads should be booing Brett Favre, not making excuses for him

CorrND said...

"Marcus Thomas suspended indefinitely for second failed marijuana test."

Why is the NCAA regulating marijuana use? Who cares? If anything, it has a negative effect on athletic performance. Why not simply let that be the penalty for marijuana use and let the police deal with the legality issue.

Jason Gruetzmacher said...

Re: Let the viewers vote from home via the phone, online and texting.

How do you stop it from being abused though? Or maybe that should be part of the fun of it! We could finally give those schools whose academics take precedence over athletics a chance (when their eggheads figure out to make a vote from their school count as 1000 votes and the opposing school's count as .0001 ...)

TBender said...

Atlanta streak is much better (even as the media forgets 1994, thanks chrth). The Braves were/are the model of player development and supplement by a FA or two as needed. The Yankees, the model of player acquisition.

Is Dontrelle MLB's version of Michael Vick? Doesn't really put up good numbers regularly, but he's capable of some awesome performances.

ChrTh said...

Why the hate for the Philly fan base? Because we're HARD on our multi-million dollar athletes? That we won't blindly cheer anyone that wears the right jersey?

Er, no. Because you throw batteries at players and boo Santa.

Heck, you aren't even half as hard on your players as the New York fans are. It's your other activities that earn derision.

ChrTh said...

tbender, a lot of people criticize (rightly, I might add) the Yankees' acquisitions. But I think it might be over-stated, especially for the beginning of the streak. Derek Jeter and Bernie Williams were (are) two of the key components of the streak, and both are Yankees' farm products. In fact, I think the main reason the Yankees have been unable to get over the top since 2000 and been because they have actively pursued an acquisition strategy over a raise 'em strategy.

Brian in Oxford said...

Tino, Brosius, O'Neill, Boggs, Charlie Hayes....Strawberry, Fielder (forever?!!! get it?)....Jimmy Key

those weren't exactly home-grown yankees either....why the romance for them? Probably just because they weren't *paid* to win a championship, they just did.

Charlie (Seattle) said...

Seahawks Manufacturing Crowd Noise: I was at the home opener for the Seahawks, and as much as I loath them, the crowd is loud.

I read the NFL rules this morning and I guarantee that Seattle is breaking many of them. From the band that bangs on the drums the whole game, to the 12th man signs/flags/graphics that are everywhere. They play a tone that stops right before the opposing team gets to the line, and as soon as the tone stops, the crowd gets louder. I think it's just psychological that they have an absence of sound all of the sudden and then they try to fill it, but either way, it's a great idea. Legal, maybe not, but still a great idea.

It's probably the only thing that Seattleites have to get excited about since the M's aren't any good anymore and they refuse to support any team that isn't good. God I hate the fans here!

Charlie (Seattle) said...

Oh, and as for the Madden jinx. There is a reason I didn't draft Shaun Alexander with the 1st pick in 2 leagues, and the 2nd pick in another. I was able to get LT in all 3. What a steal!

Alexander has four issues to deal with. Madden jinx, superbowl let-down, signing a huge contract, and having a fan base that would rather have Morris in there(I have no idea why). But, according to him, he does have God on his side...

Whittle said...

Er, no. Because you throw batteries at players and boo Santa.

Once again, I swear to god. Read this to actually find out what happened that day, and to see why Philly fans are the awesome way we are: http://tinyurl.com/pgnad

ChrTh said...

Don't forget about booing Donovan McNabb because you didn't take Ricky Williams. Yeah, Philly Fans are loyal AND smart.

(Considering I'm visiting the City of Brotherly Love in a couple weeks, perhaps I should desist until I return)

TBender said...

Don't forget about cheering Michael Irvin lying on the ground with a serious injury.

Not an Irvin guy, but when it's obviously serious, show some class.

Debbie25LW said...

Dan- I'm disappointed. You've become one of those typical writers who points the finger at Philadelphia fans as unlikable. Oh we always hear the same old, same old- Philly fans are the worst. We are looked down upon for things that happened 20+ years ago (I wasn't even around for Santa getting booed, but I'm tired of hearing about it), and apparently calling Alex Rodriguez "E-Rod" isn't nearly as low as questioning Pat Burrell's drive and motivation day in and day out. You can vilify us all you like. Real Philadelphia fans know that Ryan, Chase, and Cole have given us hope, and no matter how this season turns out, it was a respectable run considering all the factors against us. That being said, Go Phils!

Dan Shanoff said...

The funny thing is that I was trying to COMPLIMENT the Philly fans! The rest of us LIKE you now! We really do!

Matt said...

I always kinda laugh when people say the U.S. loses the Ryder Cup b/c they can't play as a team... as if Tiger Woods has to pass to Phil Mickelson to set up his putts while Jim Furyk throws a well-timed cut-block on the fairway.

It's still golf, which means it's still an individual sport. Would better camaraderie help? Maybe. But where is written that the team having more fun is the team who always wins? Or is this just a thought ingrained in our heads from too many cheesy sports movies?

Again, it's not like 'developing chemistry' is going to help the U.S. play better as a team. It can't, b/c they don't play as a team!

wonkisports said...

Seriously, is there a more exciting and fun pitcher to watch than Mr. Willis? I’d pay good money to watch Pedro, The Rocket and Santana. But the D-Train is arguably worth every dollar, not only with his arms flailing about and his crooked grin, but he never lets up—not even when he’s batting.

wonkisports said...

Seriously, is there a more exciting and fun pitcher to watch than Mr. Willis? I’d pay good money to watch Pedro, The Rocket and Santana. But the D-Train is arguably worth every dollar, not only with his arms flailing about and his crooked grin, but he never lets up—not even when he’s batting.

Ma4tt (the 4 is silent) said...

Yankees, 9 times in a row now? Much more impressive than the Braves' streak, because they backed it up with more than 1 measly title.

Seb Pho said...

About the Seahawks pumping noise into Qwest, I am pretty sure every team is doing it. I've seen a good amount of football games in 6 different NFL cities and am pretty sure all of them had extra noise coming from somewhere other than the crowd (Pittsburgh, Buffalo, Cincy, Cleveland, Baltimore, and Philly). Unless its just an east coast thing.

Lance A Boyle said...

I'm so sick of hearing about the Braves "14 Consecutive Division Titles". The Braves DID NOT win 14 consecutive division titles. There was a STRIKE in 1994. There was NO DIVISION TITLE (and, by the way, Montreal had a pretty nice lead in the division when the season ended) won by the Braves that year. If you want to say they've won "14 of the past 15 years" I'm fine with that. If you want to say they won all of the Division Titles awarded during the past 15 years, I'm fine with that. But quit saying they've won "14 consecutive titles."

And don't even get me started on USC's "back-to-back National Championships" in college football....

Mark (Austin, TX) said...

Ok but if there was no title award in 1994, any title in 1993 and then in 1995 would be back to back right? If they are back to back (since there is no title inbetween) they are continuous, thus the streak is 14. The division title streak is appears to be 14 because of the last 14 division titles awarded, the Braves won them all. No one won anything in 1994, therefore 1994 can't break or stop any streaks.

Matt said...

Is "complaining about the Braves not really winning 14 straight division titles" the new "complaining about the year 2000 not being the actual start of the millenium"?

Judy said...

Dan, Dan, Dan you wrote:
Wow, the Phils have managed pull off the trick of making an otherwise unlikable team (and unlikable fan base) into the darlings of the National League.

I'll leave it to the rest of the Philly faithful (and unfaithful) to argue the unlikable fan base rap, but how can you call the Phillies an "unlikable team"?!?!?

Sure, Brett Myers has a debt to pay to his wife and society (if convicted) and he has rightly been condemmed and villified by Philly and non-Philly fans, and Pat Burrell is not exactly cuddle-worthy but c'mon:
Jimmy Rollins-unlikable?
Chase Utley-unlikable?
Aaron Rowland-unlikable?
Shane Victorino-unlikable?
Cole Hamels-unlikable?
Let's see, anyone else?
Oh yeah-that Ryan Howard-the current poster boy for all that is right and good about baseball.
He's *really* unlikable.

Time to switch to decaf.

Lance A Boyle said...

RE: Mark (Austin, TX) said...
"Ok but if there was no title award in 1994, any title in 1993 and then in 1995 would be back to back right?"

In my opinion, that would not be considered "back to back." Let's say LSU won the NCAA Championship in 2004, then USC won it in 2005, and LSU won again in 2006. Now, let's say a player on USC was found to be ineligible and USC was forced to vacate the 2005 title, with it not being awarded to another school. Would you then say LSU had back to back championships? I certainly wouldn't. Same thing with the Braves. By virtue of their players participating in the strike in 1994, they - in essence- surrendered the division title. The fact that NOBODY won it doesn't give them the right to dismiss it.

Jon said...

Instant replay voted on by the viewers?? Right. If it was possible to weed out the idiot voters who wouldn't judge fairly that might be a good idea.

Once again pit bulls getting a bad name. One of the friendliest dogs you could own and great with families, but nobody knows that because jackasses like Joey Porter who train them to be vicious.

I hope the Marlins don't give in and trade Willis. The Marlins will be a fun team to watch next year with him and the rest of their youth.....but then again if they can repeat that Beckett trade maybe it would be worth it.

PhillyGirl said...

If you want to know why Philadelphians are on edge about our teams - it's because we haven't won any championship in 20 years. We are the only city with all four sports that can stake claim to that awful fact...
If every year for 20 years you had to watch every Sixers, Flyers, Eagles and Phillies game, hoping and praying that maybe this year is that special year, to be disappointed and heart broken...you'd be on edge too.
Philly fans are passionate...

Woody said...

The ryder cup means nothing to Tiger.It's all about the majors with him, but can you really blame him? Thats all that anyone really cares about.