Thursday, September 21, 2006

Thursday A.M. Quickie:
Tiger's Wife + Porn = Page Views

No, Tiger's wife Elin Nordegren didn't pose for porn pics. (If she did, don't you think the photos would have popped up online a LONG time ago?)

I haven't seen the precise photos in question, but if you do a Google Image search on "Elin Nordegren," you might see a sample of the fakery that has him so fired up. (NSFW: Not safe for work)

Tiger is not overreacting to lash out at the Irish newspaper that published the faked-up pics -- though a man with more years of marriage under his belt might have said "Sure, my wife is model-hot. Jealous much?"

But Tiger and I got married within a few days of each other (see this Quickie column for my comparison of me and TW's nuptials), and I can understand his defensiveness less than two years into his marriage.

The speculation is that a motivated Tiger is going to eviscerate the Euros in the Ryder Cup to avenge his wife's honor. It's a titillating storyline (and I can't wait for the MSM to dance around "porn" during the Ryder broadcast).

But unlike other tournaments where he's been wronged in some way, Tiger is playing on a team this time, and he can't play for everyone. He may win his own matches, but he can't win a Ryder Cup by himself.

(Though I've always wondered what would happen if the U.S. said: "Screw you, Euros: We'll have Tiger take on your whole squad.")

n the end, Tiger may restore his wife's honor and the newspaper might apologize, but the media ultimately wins here: Who can resist clicking on a link that says "Tiger's wife" and "porn?"

Yankees back into clinching division: Yawn! That's 9 straight.

Given the competitiveness of the AL East, even with NY's payroll edge, this is pretty impressive. (Maybe even more impressive than the Braves?)

NL Wild Card: Tied up! The streaking Phillies have tied the Dodgers for the NL Wild Card, putting HUGE pressure on the NL West race, too.

Wow, the Phils have managed pull off the trick of making an otherwise unlikable team (and unlikable fan base) into the darlings of the National League.

Take the D-Train to Queens: Dontrelle Willis hits 2 HR and has 8-plus IP in a wonderful preview of what he'll look like in a Mets uniform next season and beyond.

Conflicting signals on Manny: His MRI came back clean, but his buddy Julian Tavarez insists Manny won't play another game this season.

(Now that the Red Sox are out of playoff contention, why should he? Gotta start thinking about next year.)

Madden Jinx! Shaun Alexander will miss practice today with a sore left foot. He's still probable for Sunday, but the foreshadowing is there...

Are the Seahawks pumping extra crowd noise into Qwest? I doubt it: The otherwise restrained Seattlites are just that loud. More power to 'em.

Joey Porter's pit bulls killed a miniature horse that lives next door to his house. Anyone got the YouTube on that? No?

Steve Smith is outraged: Insists his hammy injury isn't a contract-negotiating ploy. Know who IS outraged? FFL owners who drafted him.

Florida's top defensive lineman Marcus Thomas suspended indefinitely for second failed marijuana test. "Indefinitely" could be 2 games (Kentucky, Alabama). If it's 5, the Gators are in trouble.

That Oregon replay official will take the rest of the season off after getting a leave of absence from the Pac-10. Man law? Man law. (God I hate that joke. I'm declaring it "over.")

I have an idea for college football replay: Let the viewers vote from home via the phone, online and texting.

Just try it for one otherwise meaningless game, but I'll bet that it sets a new record for viewing.

(Hell, even if it doesn't actually "count," why doesn't ESPN or CBS offer a "You vote!" option during replay reviews?)

Pete Rose ain't an idiot: Undercutting the auction on the signed "apology" balls (where he won't see a dime), he's selling his own version via his Web site for $299.

-- D.S.

19 comments:

Badass Of The Year said...

That's terrible about Joey Porter's dogs, just one more story to give pit bulls a bad rep.

If the Madden Jinx gets softie Shaun "don't tackle me" Alexandar it won't make me sad and it really doesn't surprise me. He got his big contract last year, along with his rushing title, so he's just coasting now. He hasn't been able to get over 100 yds yet, this sore foot surely isn't gonna help him. If it seems I'm enjoying this too much, it's because I play him in fantasty this week. Well maybe I'd enjoy it anyway, schadenfreude is lovely.

RevScottDeMangeMD said...

First off, if it was your wife, wouldn't you be super pissed off? Tiger already "won back her honor" by being pissed off at the press conference. Actually, he probably never lost her honor.

Second off, the Ryder Cup has been horrible the last 2 times out. The U.S.A. Ryder team is like Team U.S.A. in basketball. All the players are stars and can't play together like a team. However, this year, there are 4 rookies and the U.S. team is actually underdogs. That being said, will I actually need to turn on the TV on Sunday or will it already be over?

Kurt said...

Dan it gives me joy knowing that it gives you no joy that the Yankees are the team to beat in the playoffs.

Brian in Oxford said...

Hey, it sure looks like the Yankees of the 2000s are becoming like the Braves of the 1990s.....all those *division* titles.

Besides, last year was a tie, if the Indians hadn't pissed away the last week of the season, the Sox and Yanks coulda decided it on the field rather than by an NFL-style tiebreaker.

Hey, here's an idea for the Ryder Cup. Big uniform numbers on the back. (And in some cases, like Phil or Monty....triple digits?)

Brew City Legend said...

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.gambling911.com/image006666.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.gambling911.com/Tiger-Woods-Nude-Wife-Photos-092006.html&h=540&w=720&sz=36&hl=en&start=13&tbnid=GGy8yiTrAceAmM:&tbnh=104&tbnw=139&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dnude%26svnum%3D10%26hl%3Den%26lr%3D


that link tells it all, dan. it shows the photo and everything.

Christian Thoma said...

Call me in 5 years and we can discuss who's 14 year streak is better.

Braves didn't have a 14 year streak.

Christian Thoma said...

Speaking of the 1994 strike,
does anybody else remember SI's article 'Oh What a Finish!' when they projected the rest of the season? 62nd homer hit in game 163--thus gaining 2 asterisks, Cubs-Red Sox WS ... that had to be one of the funniest articles ever. It's a shame it wasn't reprinted in the SI 50th Anniversary article book. Hmm, I wonder if it's in the SI Baseball one? To Amazon.com!

CorrND said...

"Marcus Thomas suspended indefinitely for second failed marijuana test."

Why is the NCAA regulating marijuana use? Who cares? If anything, it has a negative effect on athletic performance. Why not simply let that be the penalty for marijuana use and let the police deal with the legality issue.

TBender said...

Atlanta streak is much better (even as the media forgets 1994, thanks chrth). The Braves were/are the model of player development and supplement by a FA or two as needed. The Yankees, the model of player acquisition.

Is Dontrelle MLB's version of Michael Vick? Doesn't really put up good numbers regularly, but he's capable of some awesome performances.

Christian Thoma said...

Why the hate for the Philly fan base? Because we're HARD on our multi-million dollar athletes? That we won't blindly cheer anyone that wears the right jersey?

Er, no. Because you throw batteries at players and boo Santa.

Heck, you aren't even half as hard on your players as the New York fans are. It's your other activities that earn derision.

Christian Thoma said...

tbender, a lot of people criticize (rightly, I might add) the Yankees' acquisitions. But I think it might be over-stated, especially for the beginning of the streak. Derek Jeter and Bernie Williams were (are) two of the key components of the streak, and both are Yankees' farm products. In fact, I think the main reason the Yankees have been unable to get over the top since 2000 and been because they have actively pursued an acquisition strategy over a raise 'em strategy.

Brian in Oxford said...

Tino, Brosius, O'Neill, Boggs, Charlie Hayes....Strawberry, Fielder (forever?!!! get it?)....Jimmy Key

those weren't exactly home-grown yankees either....why the romance for them? Probably just because they weren't *paid* to win a championship, they just did.

Christian Thoma said...

Don't forget about booing Donovan McNabb because you didn't take Ricky Williams. Yeah, Philly Fans are loyal AND smart.

(Considering I'm visiting the City of Brotherly Love in a couple weeks, perhaps I should desist until I return)

TBender said...

Don't forget about cheering Michael Irvin lying on the ground with a serious injury.

Not an Irvin guy, but when it's obviously serious, show some class.

Dan Shanoff said...

The funny thing is that I was trying to COMPLIMENT the Philly fans! The rest of us LIKE you now! We really do!

wonkisports said...

Seriously, is there a more exciting and fun pitcher to watch than Mr. Willis? I’d pay good money to watch Pedro, The Rocket and Santana. But the D-Train is arguably worth every dollar, not only with his arms flailing about and his crooked grin, but he never lets up—not even when he’s batting.

wonkisports said...

Seriously, is there a more exciting and fun pitcher to watch than Mr. Willis? I’d pay good money to watch Pedro, The Rocket and Santana. But the D-Train is arguably worth every dollar, not only with his arms flailing about and his crooked grin, but he never lets up—not even when he’s batting.

Marcus T said...

About the Seahawks pumping noise into Qwest, I am pretty sure every team is doing it. I've seen a good amount of football games in 6 different NFL cities and am pretty sure all of them had extra noise coming from somewhere other than the crowd (Pittsburgh, Buffalo, Cincy, Cleveland, Baltimore, and Philly). Unless its just an east coast thing.

Jon said...

Instant replay voted on by the viewers?? Right. If it was possible to weed out the idiot voters who wouldn't judge fairly that might be a good idea.

Once again pit bulls getting a bad name. One of the friendliest dogs you could own and great with families, but nobody knows that because jackasses like Joey Porter who train them to be vicious.

I hope the Marlins don't give in and trade Willis. The Marlins will be a fun team to watch next year with him and the rest of their youth.....but then again if they can repeat that Beckett trade maybe it would be worth it.