Sunday, September 24, 2006

NFL Week 3 Wrap:
All Things Being Equations

For some reason, I'm feeling "math-ish" this week:

Bengals 28, Steelers 20
(Palmer's Vengeance + TJ Housh's return) – (Big Ben sucks + Steelers late turnovers) = Champs are reeling

Broncos 17, Pats 7
(Javon Walker + Pats' energy) - (Brady's career-high 55 passing attempts + Only 1 TD to show for it) = No New England playoffs revenge

Panthers 26, Bucs 24
Desperation + Keyshawn - Simms injury = 1st Cats W of '06 (and Bucs jockeying for Brady Quinn)

Bears 19, Vikings 16
Grossman jinx + Grossman clutch = Chicago as NFC's top unbeaten

Packers 31, Lions 24
Favre's 400th TD + "Fire Marinelli" = GB off schneid

Colts 21, Jags 14
(Peyton's legs + Peyton's arms) X Jags' D = Indy escapes at home

Jets 28, Bills 20
Pennington So-So x No RBs = How is this Jets team 2-1?

Dolphins 13, Titans 10
Fins' D - Daunte's protection = Time for Titans to start Vince Young

Skins 31, Texans 15
Brunell's accuracy + Portis' comeback = Al Saunders breathes easier

Ravens 15, Browns 14
Easy schedule + Cleveland ineptitude = Unbeaten surprise

Seahawks 42, Giants 30
Hasselbeck + Manning - Defense = Making the "over" the hard way

Eagles 38, 49ers 24
McNabb + Westbrook = No choking this time

Rams 16, Cards 14
Kicking + Defense – Cards' O = Grateful Rams fans

Commenters: Add your own "equation!"

-- D.S.

33 comments:

ChrTh said...

Simms - Spleen = Gradowski. Have y'all seen this? He ruptured his spleen in the 2nd quarter and played most of the rest of the game. Unbelieveable.

He's out at least 6 weeks.

Eric in High Point,NC said...

Costas + Comment about K-Rob having a drink to celebrate after Packer's W = apology.
Mike Patterson + 98 yard TD rumble = moving of the San Andreas Fault

Eric in High Point,NC said...

Tennesse Titans = Terrible (no adding or subtracting needed)

Jon said...

Giants - 1st half offense = Not making the playoffs

Reggie Bush + Michael Vick x football in New Orleans = Huge ratings for Monday Night football

Tom Brady - Branch - Givens = More misery for New Englanders

Eric in High Point,NC said...

Bob Kraft's arrogance = Bad season for the Pats (Tom Brady - Deon Branch - David Givens)

Aly said...

i think eric and jon missed a part of that equation
Bob Krafts Arrogance= Tom Brady+ Bill Bellicheck- Branch -Givens- and the worst offseason loss for them Willie McGinnest

WuzUpG said...

49ers 1-2 + Vernon Davis' broken leg (1st round pick) + poor tackling = Adrian Peterson

Isiah Thomas said...

you still think Brady Quinn will be a good NFL QB? Might want to get off that bandwagon.

Pete said...

Rudi Johnson + Frank Gore + Tomlinson's bye week = loss for my fantasty team

The heroin sheik said...

Simms injury + o line ineptitude + div champ schedule + aarp defense = another wasted first round pick on a o lineman who is worthless.

NOw i feel like a dick for saying simms needed to get hurt. That was gutsy to keep playing with that bad of an injury. Who do you think we will get with our first overall selection. I say trade all their picks for a proven tackle who isnt a revolving door like kenyatta walker.

Mike said...

Short passes + Texans D + Mark Burnell = Consecutive Completions Record

Props to Mark Burnell for that record, but anyone else watching that game think its possibly one of the most meaningless records in the NFL?

Tino said...

Bill's + early lead + early momentum + >300 passing yards + >150 rushing yards = Loss....

Whats worse is:
Bills fan X time = expecting previous equation (excpet for the big offense part)

Markus said...

0-2 record + seemingly easy Titans team - shaky, too close for comfort win = 'Fins fan re-evaluating pre-season expectations

although seeing that the Jets are tied for first and that we started 0-2 and are still just a game back makes me feel slightly better, only slightly

Matt T said...

Brady Quinn + NFL = Eli Manning
(terrible first halves)

Dan Mega said...

David Carr- no protection = decent QB
David Carr + protection = top 5 QB

2007 Brady Quinn = 1998 Ryan Leaf

RevScottDeMangeMD said...

Me + carrying a weapon + DUI + marijuana charge + providing alcohol to minors ='s 5+ years in jail

Chris Henry + carrying a weapon + DUI + marijuana charge + providing alcohol to minors ='s 2 touchdowns and a game ball.

I love sports

Charlie (Seattle) said...

Favre - Detroit = The only blemish on an otherwise perfect 7-spot. That fucker.

CYGNUS003 said...

virgil said...

Kellen Winslow's Mouth + Charlie Frye's Toughness = TBD

while being saddled with the burden of being a lifelong Browns fan, your use of the word "ineptitude" jabs a little at the heart, but as they say "...it is what it is.". That being said does yesterday's game speak more in favor of the Browns even though they suffered the loss, and should the Ravens 3-0 start need to be taken with a grain of salt.

jen said...

cygnus~ I'm with you...the Browns' played some great football yesterday and shoulda-coulda- woulda won that game. Hey, they scored the first TDs on the Ravens' defense this season. I think "ineptitude" doesn't describe yesterday, that's for sure. With all of the defensive injuries, they sure kicked some butts and showed that the Ravens aren't as fearful as some may think.

Hey, I picked the Ravens in my family pool and lost...only my brother and my husband had faith in the Fudgies. (sorry I always use that name for them...that's what we call them...lovingly, of course!) My brother kept saying that he was going to be a "witness" yesterday (he's a season ticket holder) Well, he witnessed a letdown--again.

Blockage said...

Kurt Warner forgetting which team he plays for while throwing an endzone interception to a wide open Ram (one of 3 pics on the day) + Kurt Warner fumbling (8th time this season) to clinch the loss from the hands of victory = Arizona fans counting down the days for Matt Leinart.

marcomarco said...

Dan Shanoff + Any Bostonian Team Faltering = Blogasm

or, the Wet spot in Dan's shorts

Why don't you give some credit to Denver's unrelenting D? At least the Pats got one TD on em.

Matt said...

Peyton Manning's lack of a soul + advertisers with money = Not a single product left in the American marketplace that Peyton Manning doesn't shill for.

Everytime I see Peyton on a commercial, I think of the old Krusty the Clown generic endorsement slogan: "I heartily endorse this event and/or product!"

Billy- Houston said...

Texans + Mario Williams - Reggie Bush = Adrian Peterson

rafael said...

and i bet peterson ends up being a much better fit...

jen said...

I love the equations!!!

Cody said...

Plaxico on the sideline with his visor on crooked + Shockey's mouth = NY Giants implosion

Cody said...
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Cody said...
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danthemanwise said...

Come on Dan. Give some love to the Brownies. Everyone expected the Ravens to roll all over them and it came down to a 52 yard FG with 20 seconds left. This was despite not having 4 starters in the 6 starters in the line-up

ChrTh said...

Alexander+Broken Foot = Madden Curse + Seahawks Collapse

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=2602571

ChrTh said...

"Everyone expected the Ravens to roll all over them"

Not everyone:

BROWNS (+6.5) over Ravens
Lost in the hullabaloo of the Ravens D: The Ravens' O looks awful. As always.

--Sports Guy

Mark said...

Matt Millen: How many ways can a guy screw things up before management finally gives in and FIRES HIM?!

(see also: Jim Hendry)

Doug said...

How is it no one has mentioned Patrick Chukwurah spewing in slow-mo on Sunday night? Kudos to the TD that ordered that clip replayed during the broadcast!