Wednesday, September 27, 2006

T.O.: The Last Word

The Last Word on T.O.? It's YOURS.

You're the editor of a tabloid newspaper like the New York Post. What's your screaming back-page headline about T.O. tomorrow? You can include a secondary headline if you want.

It could be some wordplay, an editorial statement or whatever you want.

Looking forward to seeing what you come up with!

-- D.S.

33 comments:

Mike Futia said...

Last word?

Nobody gives a crap. Stop all this TO coverage, please!

God, the 11 pm SportsCenter is going to be painful to watch tonight ...

ChrTh said...

TO:
NO
OD
(image of him at his press conference on the right side of the page)

Since we're talking the NY Post, the second line would be:
Also denies Democrats forced pills on him.

anonymous said...

"update me when he dies".

Horatio said...

TO: STILL NOT HIS FAULT!

TO confirmed today that, following in footsteps of McNabb and Garcia, his Publisict called wrong play and caused himself more mental anguish...

Isiah Thomas said...

I'll piggy back iam...

"Unfortunately he's not dead yet"

LoganAvatar said...

Shocking: Terell Owens Misquoted!

Seb Pho said...

"Big Mouth Holds World Record 35 Pain Pills."

tbmd96 said...

TO: Quits on teams and suicide attempts

Troy (Gainesville, FL) said...

Lost in all this: Did you ever finalize your NCAA top 25, or did I just miss it? Because, honestly, that interests me much more tonite. That and rooting hard against the Cardinals.

thistlewarrior said...

"T.O.= B.S."

and in related news: "Parcells now considering hara-kiri"

thirdstringjd said...

TO: Blames Failed Suicide on Lack of Conditioning

ChrTh said...

Philly Fans have gone soft in their old age story

Rev. Smokin Steve said...

One Philly fan is quoted in the article, and we are all going soft?

Just wait until Oct 8th. We'll show you how soft we are.

C-Train said...

Em-Owens tries to kill self, nation mourns his failure.

ChrTh said...

rev. smokin steve,

I gladly await the effort :D

Barry "The Hatchet" Banks said...

"TO held a press conference today and regaled the audience with the news that he is ready and willing to play this Sunday. Never has a player come back from a broken finger to produce for his team like this since the great Ronnie Lott. That comparison is especially warranted since both Hall of Famers (soon to be TO) are the best at their respective positions. This Sunday we are all sure to witness the greatest conquer over physical adversity the world has seen since Lance Armstrong conquered the cycling world despite his testicular cancer. Also, Owens is wrongly accused of suicide." -Dallas Free Press

I'm a Skins fan so I hope everyone reads the sarcasm in that post...

Here's what the Post would run:
"TO Fails at Suicide Attempt Two Weeks Late."

And for the humor-inclined-historians, the Chicago Daily Tribune would write:
"Drugs Defeat Terrell"

And the Cincinatti Enquirer:
"Suicide Attempt Not Illegal In Texas, TO Will Not Be Signed. Team is Looking at Chargers' Kiel"

Eric said...

For Once, TO Stays Away From Light

No Comment From Camera Flashes

Tony E said...

"Death of Byron Nelson sends T.O into depression"

xcdannon said...

" 'Owen' Up: Who Started T.O. Rumor?"

subtitle: Media Obsession with Owens Leads to Controversy


the scary issue here is the way the media capitalized on this so fast, without verifying sources. suicide is a big deal, especially someone with a high profile like TO and it is dangerous...see this article for why.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Copycat_suicide

the media is the bigger issue here, to me.

Tim S said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Tim S said...

T.O. to God: "I'm holding out for a better offer."

Attempted suicide is revealed to be a strategic play by Rosenhaus.

Sheldiz said...

i know we've debated the use of this word here but...


T.O.... FUCK HIM.

The NBA Green Room said...

He Loves Him Some Him
TO denies that he tried to commit suicide by overdosing on perscription medication

Mark said...

This just in: Even T.O. hates T.O.

CYGNUS003 said...

TO: "BARBARO STOLE MY THUNDER"

Dallas- In a bold move, TO upset that Barabaro had become the most famous athelete to survive a fracture leg, up the ante on Tuesday night...

C.H. said...

T.Overdose

nyc-steelers fan said...

Daily News:"Philly's Hopes Dashed Again"
NY Times: "Cowboy's Star Knocks on Heaven's Door; Noone Answers"
Post: "TO Needs TimeOut"

Jeff Rogers said...

I'm telling you guys. Mark has it right. I laughed out loud at work and had a bunch of people looking at me from other cubes. I couldn't help it.

This just in... Even TO hates TO.

High comedy.

Anonymous said...

Choose a Headline you say Dan:
No Need;

Go to the Dallas Morning News: where this is front page material, not sports page front page, FRONT PAGE, not the story about the shooting in colorado high school, no sir, TO!!!

I understand the footbal attitude in TX but this is to much, for someone who cares for no one but himself.

Jon said...

I think TO was just a Mets fan realizing that they're not going to make it very far in playoffs.

What's up with Rev's baby picture?

Matt Hooper Presents said...

S.O.B. T.O. NO D.O.A.
Donovan McNabb seen throwing up in his mouth just a little bit, claims he wasn't tired.

Rob Ferguson said...

TO is GAY!

FreKy J said...

TO OD'S ROMO-STYLE!